Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 30-01-2016, 17:40   #1
Registered User
 
Rainh2o2's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Boat: Catalina 25 swing keel
Posts: 92
Married but sailing alone

Just wondering, how many people here are married but the significant other doesn't want to travel? Do you sail without her anyhow? I'm talking long 6-8 month or more trips? Our relationship is such that it would probably actually work for us since I was in the military when I was younger and we would spend up to a year apart, but I was wondering how many others do it?
__________________

__________________
Rainh2o2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-01-2016, 18:00   #2
Senior Cruiser
 
maxingout's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Fort Pierce, Phoenix
Boat: Privilege 39 Catamaran, Exit Only
Posts: 2,606
Re: Married but sailing alone

Sailing has always been a family activity for us, and I don't see that changing any time soon. We now live in a Skype world with internet connections world wide. So sailing alone is different now than in the past. You may be single handing, but you aren't exactly alone as you can easily stay in contact multiple times each day.
__________________

__________________
Dave -Sailing Vessel Exit Only

http://SailingUNI.com
http://maxingout.com
http://PositiveThinkingSailor.com
maxingout is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-01-2016, 18:08   #3
Registered User
 
Stu Jackson's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Cowichan Bay, BC (Maple Bay Marina)
Posts: 6,388
Re: Married but sailing alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by maxingout View Post
but you aren't exactly alone as you can easily stay in contact multiple times each day.
'cept for the hugs...:smitt en:
__________________
Stu Jackson
Catalina 34 #224 (1986) C34IA Secretary
Cowichan Bay, BC, (Maple Bay Marina) SR/FK, M25, Rocna 10 (22#) (NZ model)
Stu Jackson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-01-2016, 18:10   #4
Moderator
 
a64pilot's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Albany Ga.
Boat: Island Packet 38
Posts: 17,054
Re: Married but sailing alone

I'd say maybe a better plan if possible is you do the passages, and she flies out to your destination


Sent from my iPad Pro using Cruisers Sailing Forum
__________________
a64pilot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-01-2016, 18:10   #5
Senior Cruiser
 
maxingout's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Fort Pierce, Phoenix
Boat: Privilege 39 Catamaran, Exit Only
Posts: 2,606
Re: Married but sailing alone

If I was going to plan a trip with an absentee spouse, I would choose destinations that were so awesome that she would fly to each one and meet me there. Australia and New Zealand are good examples where a flight would be worth it as there is so much to do in those destinations.
__________________
Dave -Sailing Vessel Exit Only

http://SailingUNI.com
http://maxingout.com
http://PositiveThinkingSailor.com
maxingout is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-01-2016, 18:23   #6
Registered User
 
SimonV's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Brisbane, Australia.
Posts: 1,316
Re: Married but sailing alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by a64pilot View Post
I'd say maybe a better plan if possible is you do the passages, and she flies out to your destination


Sent from my iPad Pro using Cruisers Sailing Forum
Over the years I have seen this, but they seemed to be the ones separating or divorcing. Or he ends up selling the boat.

Sent from my GT-N7105T using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app
__________________
Simon

https://svgoodonya.blogspot.com.au/
SimonV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-01-2016, 19:33   #7
Registered User

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Massachussetts
Boat: Cheoy Lee 47 CC
Posts: 700
Re: Married but sailing alone

My first wife was OK with local sailing, sort of, but hated any offshore sailing, so I would sail single handed or with a pal to the destination and she would meet me there, I also had a great sailing dog back then who loved going along. Now that I think of it, he was better company while sailing. I got to sail, she got to see many new places.
A while after we were divorced (not due to boat issues) she mentioned in a conversation how much she missed being on the water and wished she had taken advantage of it more often when she had the chance. Go figure.
I met my second wife (we're now married long term and will be) at a sail race on Nantucket, she had crewed on a race boat for 14 years. I can tell that it's much easier and more enjoyable to have a wife who shares your interests and passions, of course now we have to flip a coin to see who's captain on any given day.
If your happy in your marriage and want to continue to pursue your travel plans you might want to take the suggestion of one of the earlier replies and have her meet you at your destination if possible. If this works for you and your wife, it's a doable compromise, it worked for me for many years.
You didn't say if she didn't like to travel on the boat or if she just didn't enjoy traveling to distant locations in general, which would definitely make finding a solution to your problem a bit more difficult.
__________________
lifeofreilly57 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-01-2016, 19:38   #8
Registered User

Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,413
Re: Married but sailing alone

Only up to a week... like delivering the boat from NY to Maine...
__________________
Sandero is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-01-2016, 19:54   #9
Registered User

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Minnesota
Boat: Buccaneer 18
Posts: 233
Re: Married but sailing alone

My wife and I are having these discussions right now, she has no interest in sailing with me but wouldn't hold me back either. She likes to travel so she'll be meeting me via other means (airplane). Win win deal...!
__________________
Steven UK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-01-2016, 20:28   #10
Senior Cruiser
 
skipmac's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: 29 49.16 N 82 25.82 W
Boat: Pearson 422
Posts: 12,381
Re: Married but sailing alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steven UK View Post
My wife and I are having these discussions right now, she has no interest in sailing with me but wouldn't hold me back either. She likes to travel so she'll be meeting me via other means (airplane). Win win deal...!
Same situation and plans here. Wife likes to travel, even likes being on the boat and sailing but gets seasick if it gets rough.
__________________
The water is always bluer on the other side of the ocean.
skipmac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-01-2016, 20:37   #11
Moderator
 
JPA Cate's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: aboard, cruising in Australia
Boat: Sayer 46' Solent rig sloop
Posts: 10,685
Re: Married but sailing alone

^^^^Knowing you're going to get seasick can really put a damper on your enjoyment, especially when it has been time after time, and you don't like throwing up.

You might ask her if she would consider using Stugeron, (cinnarizine HCl) what Jim and I use. it is the only thing that works for me with no side effects. If she is game to give it a go, do what you have to to get some for her to try. You can, I understand, get it mail order out of Canada, and also in Mexico. It is also otc in Great Britain and Vanuatu.

There are other things that work so-so for me, PM me for more, if interested.

Ann, who was once seasick for 19 days in a row, and never for long after that
__________________
Ann, with Jim, aboard US s/v Insatiable II, in Oz, very long term cruisers
JPA Cate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-2016, 00:50   #12
Sponsoring Vendor
 
groundtackle's Avatar

Community Sponsor

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Victoria BC/ Same
Boat: Cal 2-46 / Le Comte 35'
Posts: 371
Re: Married but sailing alone

I was reading about Stugeron and it apparently causes a substantial risk for Parkinson's disease. Anyone know anyone who has connected their use of this drug to later symptoms of Parkinson's? Sorry about the tangent, not really trying to hijack.
My wife and Is not keen either. Not sure how I'll make it work but for now I'll stick to shorter trips in the PNW, maybe try a trip to Alaska in 2017.
One step at a time.
Nick


Sent from my iPad using Cruisers Sailing Forum
__________________

Ground Tackle Marine offers the highest quality ground tackle products to discerning clients. We are the only North American distributor of the Excel and Sarca anchors manufactured by Anchor Right Australia. Contact us through our website www.groundtackle.com
Chris or Nick will be pleased to help whatever your ground tackle questions are.
groundtackle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-2016, 01:30   #13
Moderator
 
JPA Cate's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: aboard, cruising in Australia
Boat: Sayer 46' Solent rig sloop
Posts: 10,685
Re: Married but sailing alone

nshawdvm,

It might help for you to look at the frequency of taking the drug and at what dosage vs. possible Parkinsonism. Cinnarizine is also used, in large doses, to treat Bell's Syndrome, and I know not what else.

If a person takes low dosages, ours are 15 mg. tablets, 3 times a day, perhaps for only two days. It works so well, we get out sea legs pretty fast, unless it is really bouncy.

PS. In case you wondered, I have no connection with the Belgian manufacturer.

ann
__________________
Ann, with Jim, aboard US s/v Insatiable II, in Oz, very long term cruisers
JPA Cate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-2016, 08:40   #14
Registered User
 
hamburking's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Kingston Ont Canada
Boat: Looking for my next boat!
Posts: 2,149
Re: Married but sailing alone

The wife always sailed with me when we were younger. I couldn't imagine sailing without her. But later, she started staying home while I took the kids out on the boat, you know, for a rest. Pretty quickly, I noticed the entire season would pass by with her never stepping foot on the boat. I recently sold the boat. But the trouble is not the boat.
__________________
hamburking is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-2016, 08:45   #15
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Kingston, Ontario
Boat: Saugeen Witch, Colvin design vessel name: Witchcraft
Posts: 383
Images: 14
Re: Married but sailing alone

I have met a few cruisers to sail separately. Well , what they actually do is plan stopovers together. one spouse does not like sailing but the other loves it, so the sailor travels to a spot, the spouse flies down , they spend some time, and then the sailor continues on their way. Relieves a lot of tension between those couples.
__________________

__________________
witchcraft is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
sail, sailing

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Crew Available: Do you want to go sailing but not alone????? bobby whitley Crew Archives 10 18-03-2014 18:34
Has Anyone Ever Married Aboard ? anjou Off Topic Forum 73 29-02-2012 06:12
How Many Cruisers are Married ? SeaBungalow Families, Kids and Pets Afloat 182 22-01-2011 11:46
Married..., how should we get started? landlubberfornow Meets & Greets 22 22-01-2007 04:02



Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:34.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.