Liveaboard classes / vacation?

[PatMc57]

Agree completely with Sailorboy1 and Deepfrz. They are actually, respectfully trying to tell you something....YOU are in the way. If you want her to be on board for it, ask her to attend the class that you suggest, and which you do NOT attend, and let her decide. then you'll know...and so will she. The worst scenario is to be aboard with someone who was "talked into it". Trust me...I know...PS didn't see the 3 pages of replies..sry bout that. Sounds like it was covered. Tough stuff..went through the same.

[UNCIVILIZED]

An old mate of mine has run a sailing school, & charters for a few decades, & I can't recall meeting any of his clients that were unhappy. I haven't talked to him in a decade, but he's as good a sailor as one can be without going fully pro, racing wise.
Perhaps some of the descriptions on the website will help give you a good idea of sked's & curriculum, as well as realistic boat sizes. San Diego Sailing Academy

[chris mac]

Anne beat me to it;-) look at a week charter in Spain followed by a week in land. Win win.
My wife and i did a week liveaboard course last year in Vancouver. I got a lot out of it, sailing wise. She got a lot out of it liveaboard wise. Don't get me wrong, she learned a lot about sailing, in fact she "feels" the wind way better than me. But sailing isn't her goal. She enjoys Island hopping and sight seeing.
I think it's important to find what each of you likes and focus on both goals. You are partners in life, share each others passions and goals. Make sure it goes both ways and life, and the relationship is smooth sailing.
Enjoy Spain.

[DMCantor]

When we were just starting out, we had a good experience with J-World in Key West. This is a US Sailing program, and it is fairly rigorous, with a focus on learning and demonstrating each of the skills required for their certificate. So, not the most relaxing vacation, but fun. Our kids were 10 and 8. The 10-year old participated fully in the lessons, the 8-year old was on strike, much to the frustration of the instructor. The course was a week, and included 3 nights out at anchor in the keys. The other nights we could explore Key West (after completing our homework). We learned a whole lot, and it was definitely true that my wife found it easier to listen to a third party than to me.

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by DMCantor

..
We learned a whole lot, and it was definitely true that my wife found it easier to listen to a third party than to me.

I find it humorously true that most wives, at least mine, would listen to some homeless guy on the street before she listened to me. [emoji6]

[TheThunderbird]

Do not push.

It is enough that she's onboard.

Act as if alone, and show her the Know-How only if she asks for it, or for a real need.

She needs to have a Role, your company, and your appreciation. Nothing else.

IF she likes it, she will move forward, with and without you.

Don't push

[Sea Dreaming]

Originally Posted by SeaRags

Thank you all. Some really good advice here. I also wanted to point out to some that my original post had some content which was my attempt at humor. (Pretty sure most of you understood that). I wouldn't really trade her in for a new model, lol. I never yelled at her, and I backed way off after I realized my teaching might be having a negative effect.

Sounds like my best move here would be to do the classes, but without the pressure of the certification, see how she likes the bigger boats or perhaps a catamaran. After Spain of course.

Thanks All.

Searags, I may have a little insight regarding your wife and learning from you. Maybe?

Anyway, new things bring out our insecurities. And I will just best your wife wants nothing more than to please you but , perhaps, her insecurities are running up against correction and criticism. This is not to say you are critical and unfair! Rather, her desire to please is creating a feeling of insecurity that makes little things seem like negative criticism. Does that make sense?

I suspect this is the case simply because your initial post remindedme very much of me and my guy. We have been sailing together for nearly 7 years now and I still find myself wagging my tail, lolling my tongue and seeking a pat on the head. Perhaps that insight will help you settle your own mind and "forgive" your wife?

In any case the solution is lessons, on her own, by a competent female captain. But - if she agrees involve her in choosing the lessons. Don't dump it in her lap or ask her to take the course YOU decided on. Discuss each possibility together and take a back seat when she voices concerns. Don't jump in arguing with pros and cons, just hear her out and see if you can help her find the right course for HER, no matter if you think something else is better. Remember, you want her on board and that happens right at the start with planning.

[sailorcherry]

Originally Posted by SeaRags

Hey! Ok, I'm trying to get my wife to be a little more excited about sailing.

I think she gets a little frustrated with my teaching style and shuts down lol. Maybe I'm not the most patient of teachers, I don't know.

But would like to make a vacation out of it somewhere nice. Hoping for some recommendations.

Thanks!

Find her a sailing school with female teachers. Your dilemma is not unheard of, so fear not.

Does she know how to sail?
Does she enjoy it?

Are you on the west coast by chance?
We have an amazing women's sailing seminar in Alameda every September.
Taught by amazing sailors (rtw cruisers, local well known racers, captains, etc) to fellow women. This could definitely be made into a sweet vacation if you don't live nearby. Oh and I am pretty certain it includes a liveaboard seminar (it's a 2/3 day seminar). You could charter a boat afterwards. Local bareboat and schools donate time and their boats for the seminar and no doubt give a discount bareboat package.

Has she done any dinghy sailing by chance?
It's my favorite. I enjoy that I can manage and control everything by myself (or double-hand if big enough). Plus, to me, it is the closest way to become one with the wind and the ocean. If she finds that connection, imho, going cruising will be a no brainer for her.

[Jimmy-Kim]

Contrail, i would like to discuss spending some time on your boat. Im new to this forum and not sure if this is a pm or not.

[catbluemoon]

Originally Posted by TheThunderbird

Do not push.

It is enough that she's onboard.

Act as if alone, and show her the Know-How only if she asks for it, or for a real need.

She needs to have a Role, your company, and your appreciation. Nothing else.

IF she likes it, she will move forward, with and without you.

Don't push

Exactly!!! Sometimes the worst person to help a wife is a know-it-all, condescending husband. A woman will take what she needs to know, when she needs to know it, when she feels comfortable with her role in knowing it. Appreciate the baby steps.

[dwmCA]

I agree with Captain Puget who recommended the Santa Barbara Sailing School. We did ASA 101, 103, and 104. All liveaboard. As the Captain noted, YOU'LL have to study hard, but your wife can just be there, learning what she wants to learn.

Another option is Sail Caribe, on the east coast of Puerto Rico. They also have ASA classes. We chartered a 48' monohull and had nervous, inexperienced guests. The islands you "sail away" to are so close you could practically swim to them. Easy; mooring balls; and we saw a whale, dolphins, barracuda, tarpon, and sea turtles.

[canyonbat]

We did a week long live aboard class with San Diego Sailing Academy. We stayed on a Catalina 30 all week, just us. The instructor would show up first thing in the morning and leave late in the afternoon. The rest of the time you were on your own on the boat (in the docks). It was a very laid back course and very geared around our previous experience and what we needed to learn. Maybe not as rigorous as I would have liked but we came away with our 101 103 and 104 certs and the feeling that we filled some gaps in our knowledge base.

San Diego Sailing Academy

[RickG]

We did a learn to sail class years ago, but my lady was intimidated by tiller steering and was super stressed at MOB practice. Since then, I took classes and she just enjoyed sailing. She learned as she went and is confidant to do most tasks onboard, except helm in close quarters or anchoring. She won't drive the outboard dinghy because of the tiller - she says "left is right and right is wrong".

I would love for her to take some classes. I think she would learn much better without me watching. She is great taking instruction from sailing friends, but will react to me with "don't tell me what to do!" Yep, split up the spouses.

Do a crewed charter somewhere beautiful and let her enjoy the lifestyle.

Cheers, RickG

[SeaRags]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

Searags, I may have a little insight regarding your wife and learning from you. Maybe?

Anyway, new things bring out our insecurities. And I will just best your wife wants nothing more than to please you but , perhaps, her insecurities are running up against correction and criticism. This is not to say you are critical and unfair! Rather, her desire to please is creating a feeling of insecurity that makes little things seem like negative criticism. Does that make sense?

I suspect this is the case simply because your initial post remindedme very much of me and my guy. We have been sailing together for nearly 7 years now and I still find myself wagging my tail, lolling my tongue and seeking a pat on the head. Perhaps that insight will help you settle your own mind and "forgive" your wife?

In any case the solution is lessons, on her own, by a competent female captain. But - if she agrees involve her in choosing the lessons. Don't dump it in her lap or ask her to take the course YOU decided on. Discuss each possibility together and take a back seat when she voices concerns. Don't jump in arguing with pros and cons, just hear her out and see if you can help her find the right course for HER, no matter if you think something else is better. Remember, you want her on board and that happens right at the start with planning.

It does make sense. I think you nailed it. Everyone has given great advice and comments, even if my toes did get stepped on a bit, lol. Another thing I learned about my wife is she can handle things in very small doses. If I try to give too much data, or don't explain things in a way she can understand, she starts to shut down as well. And sailing is supposed to be fun right? Being a logical and technical person by trade, I tend to get into the science of everything. Not good when talking to a non-technical person (Kindergarten Teacher)

So, I agree with everyone's sentiment that I should leave the instruction to professionals. Probably a female if I can find one when the time comes. Not sure separate boats would be feasible though.

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by SeaRags

... Another thing I learned about my wife is she can handle things in very small doses. If I try to give too much data, or don't explain things in a way she can understand, she starts to shut down as well. And sailing is supposed to be fun right? Being a logical and technical person by trade, I tend to get into the science of everything. Not good when talking to a non-technical person (Kindergarten Teacher)

...

Everyone learns differently. Something a good instructor will do is notice that a student's eyes are glazing over and change their mode of delivery (lecture, demonstration, experiential...) until they find what works for that individual student...you can usually see the light bulb go on when you hit upon the method that works.

Well done training should cover all the material in several modes of learning (pre class reading, classroom lecture, on the water hands on practice...). This not only uses different modes of learning so that hopefully everyone gets it, but also reinforces knowledge thru repetative learning.