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Old 01-11-2009, 22:18   #1
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Land Life / Boat Life

I have been wondering if other women have felt this way so thought I'd start a thread about the clash of land life and boat life.


My land friends think I am a bit of a tomboy cause I know how to use a drill or know how to change the oil in my diesel MD20. (which we all know are pretty rudimentary skills - no big deal)

My boat friends think I am a bit of a princess because I love pink and get pedicures. A sailor friend calls me the "barefoot princess".

Its a funny thing, to have such differing opinions. It feels like I have a foot in two different worlds. Of course I am what I am, not trying to apologize for it. I just find it funny how one minute I am a tomboy, next minute a princess.

Anyone else have a similar experience?
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Old 02-11-2009, 00:10   #2
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True friend do not put labels on us and try and fit us into boxes. True friend find the time to get to know the real person.
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Old 02-11-2009, 02:16   #3
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As a child, my toys were spanners, screwdrivers, ride-on tractor,etc. One Christmas I was bought a doll, it was taken straight in to the garden and burried with my little shovel. Even as I got older I would ask for a new drill or power file etc for birthdays. Everyday I'm working on the boat, and usually have some type of tool in my hands ( by that I mean DIY tool!)

All of my friends are boaty and are used to me, I always carry a tape-measure in my pocket, and usually if I open my bag, drill bits, spanners, etc fall out.
My partner has just given up with me, lady!! no chance, I'm me.


Sue
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Old 02-11-2009, 03:26   #4
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Cool Sue, you sound very much like me, though I think men have given up on me Too competent is something I've heard more than once.

Paige
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Old 02-11-2009, 03:59   #5
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Feeling caught between two worlds

Great thread: I'm not alone!!!
What I really like about the women I meet/correspond with who are cruisers is that they are mostly very capable and practical, and willing to move beyond their previous "comfort zone." I just love being hands-on with our CRAZY LADY and our count down for cruising is just six weeks away. But HELP, I'm running out of time to finish my self initiated carpentry projects to locker spaces, floors etc.

Years ago, when I divorced, I happily took possession of all of the tools etc. By the way I cherish the memory of the Xmas when I was given a shiny red and green lawnmower,(that made an authentic noise,) while my sister received a pastel coloured toy kitchen.

Go GIRLS
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Old 02-11-2009, 04:10   #6
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... Its a funny thing, to have such differing opinions. It feels like I have a foot in two different worlds ... I just find it funny how one minute I am a tomboy, next minute a princess ...
Is that actually the case? Do you actually morph from one species to another? Of course not. You admit to spending time fretting about how you are percieved by others. We all do this. I am a big offender this way, no doubt. But in fact whom am I offending other than myself?

Why so concerned with the surface analyses others apply to you? Their opinions will not often cause the boat to leak or drag.
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:12   #7
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Hmmm.. I can't say I fret over it, it makes me smile. Didn't mean to imply that there was something wrong, this was just an observation about how two different groups (landlubbers and boat people) can see the same person differently.

Having a foot in two different worlds is very true. I live on a boat, no TV, no pressure water (you get the drift). I go to work and there are three TVs in our breadkroom, everyone owns a blackberry, and they have no idea which way the wind is blowing or whether the tide is up or down.

Again, I am not complaining, just thought it would be interesting to hear from others that have the same experience.

Cheers,
Erika
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:14   #8
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Hi Ocean Girl,

I think I have had similiar experiences...kind of like when we moved out to the country to rent a precivil war log cabin on 20 acres...our next door neighbor was in his 70s and had a herd of cattle and called me the 'city girl'...he made special note of my painted toenails when we moved in and teased me mercilously about being a city girl...

one day all of his cows escaped because his bull wanted to defend his territory against the other bull on the next property...they all ended up on this hill right up from our log cabin. It was pouring down rain...I called down to our neighbor's wife and let her know that the cows were out...I then got in my husband's 1970's landrover, having just learned to double clutch - decided today would be the day to test my skills - by the time the old man had made it up to our property I had herded all of his cows minus the bull back into the his pasture...he just looked at me, and then asked if I wanted to go to the Bahamas with him, to which I said, I don't think my husband would like that very much, he told me my husband didn't have to come with us...This was all in good fun and jest...

He never called me a 'city girl' again ;0) I had earned his respect.

I think you hit the nail on the head though OG, when you referred to changing the oil as a 'Skill'. It is just a skill but not one that women generally are taught or considered to want to learn. Many of us are conditioned by society.

I think about this a lot when something on the boat needs to be fixed, or I watch my husband tackle projects he has never done before, yet he jumps in with both feet and just goes for it. Sometimes I feel a huge block to try something new mechanical, and I ask myself why it is so intimidating?, and then I feel this weight of years and years or societal conditioning. It is this invisible, yet very present force...and I am working to banish it from my psyche so that I can be open to learning new skills.

I always loved dolls as a little girl, but also loved to romp through the woods, and hang out in the junk yard with a friend of mine who was a tomboy. I learned how to sail when I was young, five, and to me it wasn't something only boys or girls do...it was just sailing...

Now, I wonder how many more women there would be out there sailing and skippering their own boats if somehow it was removed from their psyche that boating is somehow more a male dominated sport?!? I think this is changing big time and is not necessarily still the case. However, I do think there are a lot of women out there that it still intimidates, and many men out there who wished their wife or significant other was more into sailing then they are...

So while I know that it doesn't matter what others think of me, as long as I am true to myself and those close to me, the phenomenon of societal pressures to fit into a box can affect your psyche a bit whether you know it or not.

I worked at a Spa for three years and experienced the value of facials, taking care of one's body and skin, and how great a pedicure feels...and I, too, relish being a polished tomboy ;0)

Sail on Ocean Girl!
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:20   #9
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P.S. I also chose my user name here - "High Heels" - in the same spirit of our discussion here...I have dreamed of owning my own racing boat since college and I wanted to name her "High Heels" considering she would be the only "High Heels" I own at this point in my life, I LOVE shoes, and I once sold them at Nordstrom ;0)
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:31   #10
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Cool Sue, you sound very much like me, though I think men have given up on me Too competent is something I've heard more than once.

Paige
This may not apply to anyone here but a few years ago I was looking for a woman to cruise with. My offer was if we we boy-girl compatible I'll buy the boat if she would teach me to sail. What I found were women who complained men were "intimidated" by them and couldn't find a man to sail with. What I saw were abrasive women who had something to prove and where alone for a reason. I eventually met Vickie and we are learning to sail together.

I repeat I do not know any of you here and offer this only as my personal experience - only you know if you would be a good sailing partner. I wish you well
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Old 02-11-2009, 10:50   #11
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one day all of his cows escaped because his bull wanted to defend his territory against the other bull on the next property...they all ended up on this hill right up from our log cabin. It was pouring down rain...I called down to our neighbor's wife and let her know that the cows were out...I then got in my husband's 1970's landrover, having just learned to double clutch - decided today would be the day to test my skills - by the time the old man had made it up to our property I had herded all of his cows minus the bull back into the his pasture...he just looked at me, and then asked if I wanted to go to the Bahamas with him, to which I said, I don't think my husband would like that very much, he told me my husband didn't have to come with us...This was all in good fun and jest...

He never called me a 'city girl' again ;0) I had earned his respect.

Sail on Ocean Girl!
Thanks!!
Once in my twenties, I was grinding on a keel at a boat yard. I was in those big snowman suits covered head to toe. I had been going at it for a few hours. Well A big burly guy named Bear came up behind me and tapped on my shoulder. Thinking I was a guy, and not knowing his own strength, he tapped pretty hard and nearly fell me. Well I whipped around and tore off my mask to give him a lecture about pushing someone with a high speed grinder in her hand when the look on his face stopped me. He sputtered "your a girl!" and promptly got on one knee and proposed to me. It was so funny, me in my bunny suite, a guy on his knees hands clasped looking up at me, and the whole boat yard watching the spectacle. I let him down gently.

michaeldsusa- I do see that in our sailing community. A few months ago I was recovering from major surgery (nothing serious). Anyways, I was trying to get off a boat that was a bit far from the dock and asked for help from one of my guy friends. He said something very telling, he said "I wanted to offer my hand but didn't want to offend you". I was so surprised and told him being a gentleman is never offensive. I guess it is the product of men being burned by overly sensitive women and women being burned by Neanderthal men.

Erika
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Old 02-11-2009, 18:01   #12
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My landside (landslide) friends think I am a weirdo, I think it is because I have no house, car nor kids. My seaside (seasickside) friends think I am a weirdo because I hate all aspects of sailing/cruising lifestyle, except sailing.

As you know, it is difficult to please everybody. So I don't even try anymore. If you like what you do, just do it. When you stop liking it, go for the next biggest adventure.

My two cents.
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Old 02-11-2009, 18:08   #13
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You can't worry about what others think of you unless they have some sort of power over you...like your boss. Who cares what strangers think, they are irrelevant in that respect.
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Old 02-11-2009, 19:01   #14
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Quote:
Of course I am what I am, not trying to apologize for it. I just find it funny how one minute I am a tomboy, next minute a princess.
For the nautical reference, Popeye said it best.

"I am what I am and it's all that I am. I'm Popeye the sailor man."

OK, works for women too. If you know who you are, then you know who you ain't. Everybody has to be something. If you find it uncomfortable, then you probably need a bigger boat!
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Old 03-11-2009, 06:53   #15
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Too competent is something I've heard more than once.
No man, who is worth even a minute of your time (or any other woman's time, for that matter), would ever THINK of describing a woman as "too competent"! If you don't know it already, and I suspect you do, any man who says that you are "too competent" is actually saying that he is too IN-competent to feel secure around you!
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