Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 13-08-2013, 23:04   #16
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 38
Re: I Don't Know What To Do

beware, if your actions set free the woman he hates he will start hating you
__________________

__________________
peter radclyffe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-08-2013, 23:05   #17
Registered User
 
SmartMove's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Cruising the Eastern Caribbean
Boat: Beneteau 473
Posts: 779
Images: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by terminalcitygrl View Post
For you SmartMove
Thanks!
__________________

__________________
Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. JEAN LUC PICARD, Captain of the Starship Enterprise
SmartMove is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-08-2013, 23:17   #18
Registered User
 
SmartMove's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Cruising the Eastern Caribbean
Boat: Beneteau 473
Posts: 779
Images: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by peter radclyffe View Post
beware, if your actions set free the woman he hates he will start hating you
Good point, I don't know what plan B would be at this point -- I need to think this one through.
__________________
Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. JEAN LUC PICARD, Captain of the Starship Enterprise
SmartMove is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-08-2013, 23:39   #19
Moderator
 
Seaworthy Lass's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2008
Boat: Aluminium cutter rigged sloop
Posts: 12,819
Re: I Don't Know What To Do

It is a really difficult issue.

Check out this site:
What can you do to support your friend or family member? - Women's Aid

It gives professional advice about how to raise the issue, giving support, what to say and do (and what not) etc.

It is possible what you are hearing is mutually acceptable sexual play, but very likely it is not - one in 3-4 women are abused by their partners .
__________________
"The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea." Isak Dinesen
"To me the simple act of tying a knot is an adventure in unlimited space." Clifford Ashley
Seaworthy Lass is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-08-2013, 23:50   #20
o_q
Registered User
 
o_q's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 291
Re: I Don't Know What To Do

Quote:
Originally Posted by SmartMove View Post
Yep, that has been what I have been doing. But, we can hear it every night ... Unless she reaches out I will just put my head under the pillow. She is a beautiful girl and it is so sad.
This is a little off topic, but I just want to point out how messed up humans are. To say it's sad that a beautiful girl being mistreated is any worse than an ugly woman.
__________________
o_q is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2013, 00:20   #21
o_q
Registered User
 
o_q's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 291
Re: I Don't Know What To Do

I wanted to reiterate my point by saying it a bit more explicitly.

I really wonder how many people have experience with this situation. And if so, I doubt there's some sort of follow-up to let them know she's is better off. People are quick to direct someone to a hotline to solve their problems, but I truly wonder how helpful they are. I wonder if it's like those situations when parents (or single parent) are determined as an unfit parent, and in the case the parent ends up in jail, and the child taken to some shitty foster home, everyone is much worse off, and no one wins. People at CPS have jobs either way, and everyone thinks they're a hero. Fake humanity American bullshit.

I want people to be better off, but if you're going to do something, I really want you to think about the consequences of your actions. And let your actions be your own, not some service that might take actions you are unaware of. You don't meddle with other people's lives just so you can sleep at night.
__________________
o_q is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2013, 00:28   #22
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Melbourne Australia
Boat: Paper Tiger 14 foot, Gemini 105MC 34 foot Catamaran Hull no 825
Posts: 1,616
Re: I Don't Know What To Do

I stepped into a domestic dispute when asked by the female side of it, I got 3 broken ribs for my effort,
Whether it did any good or not, I dont know,
__________________
Mr B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2013, 00:54   #23
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 382
Re: I Don't Know What To Do

I spent 5 years volunteering as a crisis counsellor and support group facilitator with a battered women's service. I've heard hundreds of stories and I can tell you the lives of many women and children have been saved because someone/ anyone gave a ****.
__________________
terminalcitygrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2013, 01:17   #24
o_q
Registered User
 
o_q's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 291
Re: I Don't Know What To Do

Quote:
Originally Posted by terminalcitygrl View Post
I can tell you the lives of many women and children have been saved because someone/ anyone gave a ****.
I'm not saying this is not true, but could you tell me how lives were saved?
__________________
o_q is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2013, 02:01   #25
Registered User
 
Teknav's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Texas - USA
Boat: Twin Otter de Havilland Floatplane
Posts: 1,838
Re: I Don't Know What To Do

If it gets bad enough, she will call for help or 911. She has to make the move. If someone has a problem, don't make it yours. I'd stay out of it, as long as she did not ask for my assistance.

Mauritz
Knows how to walk away...
__________________
Retired - Don't Ask Me To Do A Damn Thing!
Teknav is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2013, 02:07   #26
Moderator Emeritus
 
Coops's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern NSW.Australia
Boat: Sunmaid 20, John Welsford Navigator
Posts: 9,550
Re: I Don't Know What To Do

You have to do what you feel is right. If you do that then you know that whatever happens, you can live with yourself.

Coops.
__________________
When somebody told me that I was delusional, I almost fell off of my unicorn.
Coops is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2013, 03:49   #27
Registered User
 
Katiusha's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 800
Having been on a receiving end of something like this, I agree with terminalcitygirl: put up info about some center or hotline that she can contact. If none available in the area, print out something from the Internet and put it in female bathroom. Maybe terminalcitygirl can point to some online material?

Asking "how are you?" and soulfully looking into the eyes doesn't usually work imho. Engaging her in a conversation and showing her that she's knowledgeable about something would hopefully raise her self esteem and be more productive (unless of course this guy is a jealous type).

For those of you critiquing her behaviour or telling OP to leave it be out of conjecture, please don't say anything unless you've been there. It's vastly different on the other side and kudos to OP for caring enough.
__________________
Katiusha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2013, 03:55   #28
Registered User
 
Alecadi's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Marathon FL
Boat: Endeavour 35, 1984,
Posts: 937
Are you sure there is abuse? You just hear at night some noises after being there only a couple of days?

Is there any phisical evidence of violence? Black eyes? Bruises?
Be carefull not to create a big problem where there is perhaps none at all....
__________________
People spend time putting little boats in bottles, me I put bottles in my little boat...
Alecadi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2013, 05:56   #29
Freelance Delivery Skipper..
 
boatman61's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 20,226
Images: 2
pirate Re: I Don't Know What To Do

You have 3 choices...
1/ Ignore it and move on to another location..
2/ Complain to the marina about it and the fact it disturbs your nights... the nuisance factor is not limited to loud music and drunks... but this only stops the noise.. maybe,,
3/ Next time go and knock on the hull and confront the guy and tell him to shut the hell up and keep it down... this action (if your suspicion is true) shows your active in your support and not going to crumble in a confrontation.. to many do gooders are not prepared to go all the way when they stand to catch the fall out... then its down to her...

Something else you should be aware off.. there are some women who scream like crazy during sex... they can't help it... scares the hell outa you...

my 0.0000000000000001centimes
__________________


Born To Be Wild
boatman61 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2013, 06:34   #30
Registered User
 
SmartMove's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Cruising the Eastern Caribbean
Boat: Beneteau 473
Posts: 779
Images: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by o_q View Post

This is a little off topic, but I just want to point out how messed up humans are. To say it's sad that a beautiful girl being mistreated is any worse than an ugly woman.
No, I put that badly -- sorry.
__________________

__________________
Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. JEAN LUC PICARD, Captain of the Starship Enterprise
SmartMove is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:29.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.