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Steve Bean · 06-12-2015, 08:24

Sea trials with prospective buyers. A necessary part of boat selling process. Absolutely no fun involved.

DolphinBuddy · 06-12-2015, 09:08

Sounds like a codependent relationship!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sailorchic34

Oh good lord..... Gee, go sailing, have fun. Mind you I live alone with cat so I might not be the best at relationship questions.

She can have the memories of you and her sailing. That you might sail without her sometimes does not cheapen her memories or yours for that matter. That should not stop you (or her) from sailing, hiking, shopping, etc. alone or with friends. It's called living.

Edit: if I was coming from the frozen north to southern California in winter and had a boat there, wow to not go sailing would be foolish. While I can sort of kind of understand her position, I feel that if one loves another then you let them enjoy life, even if your not there. To say you sailing the boat now cheapens the memories, well I can't really say here what I think of that. Memories are lovely, but a boat in southern California screams "sail me".

I know what I would do. No I'm not helping and yes I am evil.

Valmika · 06-12-2015, 09:11

Hey , does it count if you go on another boat. If not you can go out on mine and you will safe. I'm out there all the time anyway . Would be happy to drag you along. I'm leaving around noon today

Cheers,

MaRK

Stu Jackson · 06-12-2015, 09:24

OK, I'm not seeking my boat and my wife doesn't live back east.

But every two weeks or so, if I've only done boat work or even haven't gone to the boat (which is all of 15 minutes from home), she'll say: "Hey, when you gonna go out?" I usually go out for three days & two nights at anchor, min.

Other than this group of respondents, who will say she is having a torrid affair and wants to get rid of me!!!, she actually enjoys me enjoying the boat, and we also use it together quite often.

I find it odd that one person in any relationship should be so limiting of the other person. Just childish behavior on her part. The happier YOU are the happier she should be, for both you and both of you together.

Sorry, dude, she's a little nuts and controlling.

DolphinBuddy · 06-12-2015, 09:28

Sounds like a codependent relationship, go sail the boat!

**HappyMdRSailor** · 06-12-2015, 09:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic

My conversation with both of you would be like this.... YOUR IMAGINED ANSWER IN FULL CAPS

1 Are you serious about selling the boat?.... YES
YES

2 Once a 10% deposit is offered at acceptable price to buy boat subject to surveys, will you take it?..... YES
YES

3 Once surveys are complete and new buyer confirms purchase.....if you were the new owner, would you let the boat go out on a cruise without you?....... YOUR ANSWER HERE?

Meaning ask the new owner if we can take the boat out after a sale???

Point I am making, is to do your sailing now before any offers start and to focus on satisfying any prospective buyer

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey

Man that Pelagic always waves that realism wand around and spoils it wit the truth don't he?

What the hell are you talking about???? I need a translation for Pelagic's post!

Quote:

Originally Posted by DumnMad

You're a lucky man - don't dare ignore her feelings !!!

***note to self*** Forgot to tell DumnMad that I expected an extremely biased opinion... therefore commenting on the post and especially VOTING would be strongly discouraged...

SaltyMonkey · 06-12-2015, 09:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyMdRSailor

What the hell are you talking about???? I need a translation for Pelagic's post!

Happy: "meaning ask the owner if we can take the boat out after the sale ALONE WITHOUT THE OWNER JUST THE TWO OF US?"

Happy -- you are living in your own cloud-mind if you don't GET IT by now. I have no sympathy for you. You probably won't read the survey or advice anyway. I can only guess this whole post was to cause some sort of troll variation.

dkroar · 06-12-2015, 10:40

What Mike Reilly said......

Sailing55 · 06-12-2015, 11:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyMdRSailor

The first mod that quarantines this because it's NOT sailing related is gunna get a whoopin'.... as it is TOTALLY SAILING RELATED!!! (I even capitalized "sailing" in the thread title)

Soooo... I'm in sunny California 2k NM away from home where my girl is shiverin'... We just spent 10 awesome days here, mostly having a fun vacation, but the PRIMARY reason was to sell my Morgan... (insert shameless plug here)
http://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/...-a-153160.html

My girl is an emotional wreck having to sell the boat... memories... Her first real exposure to sailing... and immediately falling in love with sailing... (and maybe actually me too... ) Tons and tons of trips to the islands, living on the boat when we stayed in Cali for months etc...

SO .... Here's the main point I need help with...She had to go home to take care of the kids, and I'm here to finish work/sell the boat... She has conveyed that she will ABSOLUTELY be devastated if I take the boat out by myself (or with friends) for pleasure without her... She wants MY last memory and final goodbye sail to be something we share (the end of this chapter beginning the cruising dream for both of us) coming back from Catalina a few days ago...

I have told her regardless of if I do go out or not... The last absolutely FANTASTIC last sail... would be sailing together from Catalina... Sunset crossing the point... nightsail in under a moon...

But... She thinks a last sail with friends instead of her diminishes the importance of this boat to us and our dream...

Am I absolutely crazy for not understanding her feelings about this???

Not knowing either of you or the dynamics of your relationship, that is a tough question. And, for the record, I have been married twice and live alone on a boat with a dog...so obviously I am no expert on the mysteries of how women think.

Having said that, there must be a reason for her feelings, rational or otherwise. If it means that much to her, then you just need to decide if she is important enough to you to respect her wishes. Women have long memories...

But to answer your question, no I don't think you are absolutely crazy for not understanding her feelings. You can't help it, you're a guy.

Cadence · 06-12-2015, 11:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyMdRSailor

The first mod that quarantines this because it's NOT sailing related is gunna get a whoopin'.... as it is TOTALLY SAILING RELATED!!! (I even capitalized "sailing" in the thread title)

Soooo... I'm in sunny California 2k NM away from home where my girl is shiverin'... We just spent 10 awesome days here, mostly having a fun vacation, but the PRIMARY reason was to sell my Morgan... (insert shameless plug here)
http://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/...-a-153160.html

My girl is an emotional wreck having to sell the boat... memories... Her first real exposure to sailing... and immediately falling in love with sailing... (and maybe actually me too... ) Tons and tons of trips to the islands, living on the boat when we stayed in Cali for months etc...

SO .... Here's the main point I need help with...She had to go home to take care of the kids, and I'm here to finish work/sell the boat... She has conveyed that she will ABSOLUTELY be devastated if I take the boat out by myself (or with friends) for pleasure without her... She wants MY last memory and final goodbye sail to be something we share (the end of this chapter beginning the cruising dream for both of us) coming back from Catalina a few days ago...

I have told her regardless of if I do go out or not... The last absolutely FANTASTIC last sail... would be sailing together from Catalina... Sunset crossing the point... nightsail in under a moon...

But... She thinks a last sail with friends instead of her diminishes the importance of this boat to us and our dream...

Am I absolutely crazy for not understanding her feelings about this???

Write to Dear Abbey or Ann Landers. Maybe Dr. Phil. Sorry if it sounds crass but we can't help you and will probably give bad advice from one extreme to the other.

jkindredpdx · 06-12-2015, 12:10

If my girlfriend made this request, I could not honor it. But then, my girlfriend would not make that request. It's a boat! It's a sail! You are selling the boat! IMHO there needs to be a level of independence in a healthy relationship, including non-shared memories.

**JPA Cate** · 06-12-2015, 12:18

If the GF is a keeper, take the Mike Reilly approach. If not, do whatever you feel like.

Since she's told you it matters a lot to her, going on a fun deal with the guys instead of with her will let her know you don't value her feelings. I don't think any form of glib flattery would take away the sting from that kind of hurt.

Which is why -- to me -- this comes down to a very deep issue between you and your GF, it has to do with trust and how love is expressed between the two of you.

Ann