Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

View Poll Results: Am I crazy for not understanding my girlfriends feelings???
Happy... You're an idiot... Having somebody that cares that much is priceless... 15 42.86%
Happy... I understand her feelings, but I agree with you... Your last sail was together... 7 20.00%
Happy... In this case, I don't think your girl's feelings are justified... 7 20.00%
Dood... If you do this, you are never getting any... Uhm... conjugal relations ever again... 12 34.29%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 35. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 06-12-2015, 09:24   #31
Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central California
Boat: Samson C Mist 32
Posts: 484
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

Sea trials with prospective buyers. A necessary part of boat selling process. Absolutely no fun involved.
__________________

__________________
Steve Bean is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 10:08   #32
Registered User

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Alpine, Texas
Boat: Nor'star Flicka 20'
Posts: 59
Unhappy Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

Sounds like a codependent relationship!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sailorchic34 View Post
Oh good lord..... Gee, go sailing, have fun. Mind you I live alone with cat so I might not be the best at relationship questions.

She can have the memories of you and her sailing. That you might sail without her sometimes does not cheapen her memories or yours for that matter. That should not stop you (or her) from sailing, hiking, shopping, etc. alone or with friends. It's called living.

Edit: if I was coming from the frozen north to southern California in winter and had a boat there, wow to not go sailing would be foolish. While I can sort of kind of understand her position, I feel that if one loves another then you let them enjoy life, even if your not there. To say you sailing the boat now cheapens the memories, well I can't really say here what I think of that. Memories are lovely, but a boat in southern California screams "sail me".

I know what I would do. No I'm not helping and yes I am evil.
__________________

__________________
DolphinBuddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 10:11   #33
Senior Cruiser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: May 2014
Location: So Cal
Boat: Beneteau 38 Nordlund 72, Marquess 55, Jenneau 49
Posts: 286
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

Hey , does it count if you go on another boat. If not you can go out on mine and you will safe. I'm out there all the time anyway . Would be happy to drag you along. I'm leaving around noon today

Cheers,

MaRK
__________________
Valmika is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 10:24   #34
Registered User
 
Stu Jackson's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Cowichan Bay, BC (Maple Bay Marina)
Posts: 6,385
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

OK, I'm not seeking my boat and my wife doesn't live back east.

But every two weeks or so, if I've only done boat work or even haven't gone to the boat (which is all of 15 minutes from home), she'll say: "Hey, when you gonna go out?" I usually go out for three days & two nights at anchor, min.

Other than this group of respondents, who will say she is having a torrid affair and wants to get rid of me!!!, she actually enjoys me enjoying the boat, and we also use it together quite often.

I find it odd that one person in any relationship should be so limiting of the other person. Just childish behavior on her part. The happier YOU are the happier she should be, for both you and both of you together.

Sorry, dude, she's a little nuts and controlling.
__________________
Stu Jackson
Catalina 34 #224 (1986) C34IA Secretary
Cowichan Bay, BC, (Maple Bay Marina) SR/FK, M25, Rocna 10 (22#) (NZ model)
Stu Jackson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 10:28   #35
Registered User

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Alpine, Texas
Boat: Nor'star Flicka 20'
Posts: 59
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

Sounds like a codependent relationship, go sail the boat!
__________________
DolphinBuddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 10:33   #36
Moderator
 
HappyMdRSailor's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Mississippi
Boat: 48 Wauquiez Pilot Saloon-C22 Chrysler Sunpiper- 19 Potter-Preparing to cruise w/my girl
Posts: 5,980
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
My conversation with both of you would be like this.... YOUR IMAGINED ANSWER IN FULL CAPS

1 Are you serious about selling the boat?.... YES
YES

2 Once a 10% deposit is offered at acceptable price to buy boat subject to surveys, will you take it?..... YES
YES

3 Once surveys are complete and new buyer confirms purchase.....if you were the new owner, would you let the boat go out on a cruise without you?....... YOUR ANSWER HERE?
Meaning ask the new owner if we can take the boat out after a sale???


Point I am making, is to do your sailing now before any offers start and to focus on satisfying any prospective buyer
Quote:
Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey View Post
Man that Pelagic always waves that realism wand around and spoils it wit the truth don't he?
What the hell are you talking about???? I need a translation for Pelagic's post!

Quote:
Originally Posted by DumnMad View Post
You're a lucky man - don't dare ignore her feelings !!!
***note to self*** Forgot to tell DumnMad that I expected an extremely biased opinion... therefore commenting on the post and especially VOTING would be strongly discouraged...
__________________
In the harsh marine environment, something is always in need of repair...

Mai Tai's fix everything...
HappyMdRSailor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 10:51   #37
cruiser

Join Date: May 2010
Location: SF Bay Area; Former Annapolis and MA Liveaboard.
Boat: Looking and saving for my next...mid-atlantic coast
Posts: 6,197
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMdRSailor View Post
What the hell are you talking about???? I need a translation for Pelagic's post!
Happy: "meaning ask the owner if we can take the boat out after the sale ALONE WITHOUT THE OWNER JUST THE TWO OF US?"

Happy -- you are living in your own cloud-mind if you don't GET IT by now. I have no sympathy for you. You probably won't read the survey or advice anyway. I can only guess this whole post was to cause some sort of troll variation.
__________________
SaltyMonkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 11:40   #38
Registered User
 
dkroar's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wrangell, Alaska
Boat: 1983 Nauticat 43, Hull 16
Posts: 87
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

What Mike Reilly said......
__________________
Donna
Denali Rose
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker
dkroar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 12:48   #39
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 329
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMdRSailor View Post
The first mod that quarantines this because it's NOT sailing related is gunna get a whoopin'.... as it is TOTALLY SAILING RELATED!!! (I even capitalized "sailing" in the thread title)

Soooo... I'm in sunny California 2k NM away from home where my girl is shiverin'... We just spent 10 awesome days here, mostly having a fun vacation, but the PRIMARY reason was to sell my Morgan... (insert shameless plug here)
http://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/...-a-153160.html

My girl is an emotional wreck having to sell the boat... memories... Her first real exposure to sailing... and immediately falling in love with sailing... (and maybe actually me too... ) Tons and tons of trips to the islands, living on the boat when we stayed in Cali for months etc...

SO .... Here's the main point I need help with...She had to go home to take care of the kids, and I'm here to finish work/sell the boat... She has conveyed that she will ABSOLUTELY be devastated if I take the boat out by myself (or with friends) for pleasure without her... She wants MY last memory and final goodbye sail to be something we share (the end of this chapter beginning the cruising dream for both of us) coming back from Catalina a few days ago...

I have told her regardless of if I do go out or not... The last absolutely FANTASTIC last sail... would be sailing together from Catalina... Sunset crossing the point... nightsail in under a moon...

But... She thinks a last sail with friends instead of her diminishes the importance of this boat to us and our dream...

Am I absolutely crazy for not understanding her feelings about this???
Not knowing either of you or the dynamics of your relationship, that is a tough question. And, for the record, I have been married twice and live alone on a boat with a dog...so obviously I am no expert on the mysteries of how women think.

Having said that, there must be a reason for her feelings, rational or otherwise. If it means that much to her, then you just need to decide if she is important enough to you to respect her wishes. Women have long memories...

But to answer your question, no I don't think you are absolutely crazy for not understanding her feelings. You can't help it, you're a guy.
__________________
Sailing55 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 12:55   #40
Registered User
 
Cadence's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: SC
Boat: None,build the one shown of glass, had many from 6' to 48'.
Posts: 6,057
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMdRSailor View Post
The first mod that quarantines this because it's NOT sailing related is gunna get a whoopin'.... as it is TOTALLY SAILING RELATED!!! (I even capitalized "sailing" in the thread title)

Soooo... I'm in sunny California 2k NM away from home where my girl is shiverin'... We just spent 10 awesome days here, mostly having a fun vacation, but the PRIMARY reason was to sell my Morgan... (insert shameless plug here)
http://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/...-a-153160.html

My girl is an emotional wreck having to sell the boat... memories... Her first real exposure to sailing... and immediately falling in love with sailing... (and maybe actually me too... ) Tons and tons of trips to the islands, living on the boat when we stayed in Cali for months etc...

SO .... Here's the main point I need help with...She had to go home to take care of the kids, and I'm here to finish work/sell the boat... She has conveyed that she will ABSOLUTELY be devastated if I take the boat out by myself (or with friends) for pleasure without her... She wants MY last memory and final goodbye sail to be something we share (the end of this chapter beginning the cruising dream for both of us) coming back from Catalina a few days ago...

I have told her regardless of if I do go out or not... The last absolutely FANTASTIC last sail... would be sailing together from Catalina... Sunset crossing the point... nightsail in under a moon...

But... She thinks a last sail with friends instead of her diminishes the importance of this boat to us and our dream...

Am I absolutely crazy for not understanding her feelings about this???
Write to Dear Abbey or Ann Landers. Maybe Dr. Phil. Sorry if it sounds crass but we can't help you and will probably give bad advice from one extreme to the other.
__________________
Cadence is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 13:10   #41
Registered User
 
jkindredpdx's Avatar

Join Date: May 2011
Location: Portland, OR, USA
Boat: Hallberg Rassy 35'
Posts: 1,047
Images: 5
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

If my girlfriend made this request, I could not honor it. But then, my girlfriend would not make that request. It's a boat! It's a sail! You are selling the boat! IMHO there needs to be a level of independence in a healthy relationship, including non-shared memories.
__________________
http://www.sednahr35.blogspot.com/ Jim K.
jkindredpdx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 13:18   #42
Moderator
 
JPA Cate's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: aboard, cruising in Australia
Boat: Sayer 46' Solent rig sloop
Posts: 10,670
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

If the GF is a keeper, take the Mike Reilly approach. If not, do whatever you feel like.

Since she's told you it matters a lot to her, going on a fun deal with the guys instead of with her will let her know you don't value her feelings. I don't think any form of glib flattery would take away the sting from that kind of hurt.

Which is why -- to me -- this comes down to a very deep issue between you and your GF, it has to do with trust and how love is expressed between the two of you.

Ann
__________________
Ann, with Jim, aboard US s/v Insatiable II, in Oz, very long term cruisers
JPA Cate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 14:04   #43
Registered User
 
dwedeking2's Avatar

Join Date: May 2014
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Boat: Morgan Out Island 415
Posts: 371
Images: 1
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

Women are insane.

Just tell her there was no cell reception at the strip club to cover your time out on the boat. </tongue-in-cheek>
dwedeking2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 15:58   #44
Registered User

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Boat floats in Wilmington NC
Boat: Irwin CC MKV 37
Posts: 21
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

This should have the answer
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	image.jpeg
Views:	50
Size:	106.0 KB
ID:	114431  
__________________
tonewrone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2015, 16:02   #45
Moderator
 
Seaworthy Lass's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2008
Boat: Aluminium cutter rigged sloop
Posts: 12,811
Re: HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by tonewrone View Post
This should have the answer
No, it isn't in Volume 1 .

SWL
__________________

__________________
"The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea." Isak Dinesen
"To me the simple act of tying a knot is an adventure in unlimited space." Clifford Ashley
Seaworthy Lass is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
poll, sail, sailing

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Relationship Issues GordMay Families, Kids and Pets Afloat 34 26-01-2011 18:40
Size Relationship Between a Trawler and a Sailing Sloop ViribusUnitis Powered Boats 16 05-07-2010 14:12
What if chasing the dream means you have to give up a relationship? sundowner The Sailor's Confessional 248 15-01-2009 23:28



Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 20:50.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.