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Old 02-02-2011, 14:14   #76
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There seem to be a number of issues apart from getting her interested in sailing. WADR you don't seem to know each other well enough for marriage. Two future country of residence. Cultural and value differences.
From her background and perspective you seem to be wasting money. To an extent she is right, as you acknowledge, boats are expensive compared to the use they get. It is something of an indulgence.
Resolving issues in a relationship it seems to me is less about one person dominating but being able to communicate so that each can see the issue with the other's eyes. That takes time and learned skills, as the initial approach is that one is right and obviously so. As each learns to appreciate where the other is coming from, some respect for differences and compromise hopefully results. This is hard enough normally but more so across cultures.
Doing so is quite different from asking on the internet how to have one's view prevail.
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Old 02-02-2011, 15:06   #77
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It's simple; There are more fish in the sea and if you have a boat fishing is easy. I had a wonderful, sweet, sexy, smart woman who hated outdoor fun ie. camping, snowboarding, sailing for more than a day at a time, she would have rather gone shopping at Dolce & Gabbana. I asked her to come with me from San Francisco to Mexico in my Ericson, she said "no". I told her I would be back in a few months. To that she replied "I won't wait for you when you go off sailing and fishing." She couldn't grasp the idea that I would take off work to go fishing for months with no fiscal gain. I left her and took off down the coast. I made it to Santa Barbara where I had a buddy who wanted to go surf of the coast of Mexico. He had a girl, she had a friend and the four of us set sail for Mexico and had a blast for the next two months catching Huge waves and tasty fish. If you are true to yourself and what you want in life it will work out.
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Old 03-02-2011, 02:44   #78
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If you're serious about this girl and sailing...my advice is (through experience) is to only take her out on very nice days and have plenty of food, drink, music and alone time. Good luck.
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Old 03-02-2011, 03:54   #79
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I don't have the cultural issues that you do at the moment with my current GF, but have been "there" so I know how difficult that can be.

However, my solution to indoctrinating her to sailing was to give her enough confidence to fall in love with it on her own. This was a person that not only was terrified of seasickness but also didnt know how to even swim.

So instead of heading off to get my US Sailing Certs alone, I brought her with. It was a difficult battle getting her to do that part, but once she passed her exams, suddenly the beast had been unleashed. A few months later she was at the helm in the BVI with a smile on her face.

My instructor who cruises with his wife told me that his wife gives private lessons with many women that are "Tired of just making coffee" on the boat. Some have been doing only that for years while others want to break free from the dependancy of looking at their partner for anything technical or dangerous without understanding what is actually going on.

Perhaps giving her the knowledge (Power) to understand sailing instead of just depending on you in that regard would do the trick without any convincing needed. If anything, it would really spell out if it is a lifestyle that is compatible at all in your relationship.

Best of luck to you and I hope that you can somehow find a way to demonstrate to her that sailing opens up the doors to experience some pretty incredible things that do not even involve the act of sailing at all. (Sitting on a deserted beach, just the two of us, sealed the deal for me.)
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Old 16-02-2011, 03:41   #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elsakis View Post
I asked her to come with me from San Francisco to Mexico in my Ericson, she said "no". I told her I would be back in a few months. To that she replied "I won't wait for you when you go off sailing and fishing." She couldn't grasp the idea that I would take off work to go fishing for months with no fiscal gain.
I think that's the answer here - if happiness is a balance between work and play, you won't be happy with someone who thinks it's either or.

BWS
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