Cruisers Forum

Join CruisersForum Today

Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 12-01-2010, 14:20   #1
Registered User

Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 32
Feeling Uninspired and Disillusioned

I am 43 years old and my husband and I have owned boats for 12 of our 13 years together. Mostly living aboard during that time. In that time, we have been trying to tweek our lives a little here and there to make it all work. I am feeling lost and disillusioned. I used to love everything boat, working on them, owning them, everything. I have always thought of myself as a cruiser and don't know who I would be without a boat. Does that sound crazy? I feel like I haven't accomplished nearly as much as I would have liked in all that time. We have had a couple of cruises, nothing major in all that time. Without boring you with all the details, I am just flat out feeling uninspired, sometimes looking back on all the time, energy, and money sacraficed and just feeling like a sucker. I know it will get better, but it makes me sad I don't find joy like I used to in painting a locker or waxing the hull, now it's just a pain in the ass. I end up feeling guilty because I don't feel like a willing participant anymore. Are there any words of wisdom out there? I can't picture myself holed up in a house somewhere either, so that's not the answer. I used to feel like the luckiest, smartest person in the world. Not so much now.

bamboo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 14:29   #2

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Tampa to New York
Boat: Morgan 33 OutIsland, Magic and 33' offshore scott design "Cutting Edge"
Posts: 1,594
Tomorrow is another day, this feeling will pass.

forsailbyowner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 14:30   #3
Registered User
anjou's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Malvernshire, on the sunny side of the hill.
Boat: 50' steel canal and river cruiser
Posts: 1,905
Are you sure this is strictly boat related or is the boat just a metaphor for something else in your life thats feeling hollow or worn out?

Maybe lots of us go through times in our lives when things get flat and dead. Ive cerainly been there, but when a new opportunity arrises, your good to go and you get the feel good factor again and alls well
anjou is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 14:34   #4
Registered User
Ram's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: May 2005
Location: Cruising Greece
Boat: Cat in the med & Trawler in Florida
Posts: 2,290
Images: 27
Change happens.. to all -, perhaps its time for something new-, something different, somewhere different? Im very happy to be onboard 6-7 months a year and just as happy to be off the rest of the year digging in my garden! Today I picked up 5000lbs of horse manure and im excited about it - so many ways to live our lives,were all so lucky to be living in this age- find what moves your heart and go for it
Ram is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 14:42   #5
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Pickering Ontario
Boat: 1995 hunter 430
Posts: 269
I really hope doctor Phill chimes in this one
Navicula is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 14:47   #6
breaker of your dreams
sailorboy1's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Northeast
Boat: Hunter 410
Posts: 11,119
You could replace the word "boat" with house and everything would still fit. I would suggest you are just in a rut like most of us and are going about your life. Time to do something new that gives you some fun and newness etc. And this doesn't mean you have to get up the boat (replace boat with house etc).
sailorboy1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 15:53   #7
Registered User

Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 32
Thank you, I have never posted here and didn't expect such quick feedback. Sometimes I just annoy myself. I have been so blessed in my life, and yet I sometimes can't get out of my own way. I just wanted to see if others felt like I do sometimes. I know I am fortunate to have choices. Like I said, I am annoying to me sometimes. It's is hard to call my friends or family that are sitting in commuter traffic in 5 degrees and complain. So again... Thank you.
bamboo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 15:54   #8
Registered User
cdennyb's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Northern California
Boat: finally a catamaran dive boat...
Posts: 505
Send a message via MSN to cdennyb Send a message via Yahoo to cdennyb Send a message via Skype™ to cdennyb
Do you scuba dive? If not, maybe looking out across the water is the problem. Maybe your llife needs a little "looking under the water" time as well. It certainly is interesting, makes your adrenilin pump on ocassion and it's certainly fun and rewarding. Are you simply stuck in the same ol spot? Maybe an extended cruise is the ticket. Ever see the Great Pyramid? Maybe a trip over there is what the doc ordered. Gotta look at each day a little different, sounds like you need an exciting future goal instead of a job (like waxing, varnishing, or repairing.)
the perfect dive boat is one you're on...
cdennyb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-01-2010, 09:02   #9
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Brisbane
Boat: Ericson 39B goodonya
Posts: 9
5 degrees? Brrr, Maybe need a cruise to sunny queensland
julie-anne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-01-2010, 10:13   #10
Moderator Emeritus
David M's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: San Francisco Bay
Boat: research vessel
Posts: 9,844
Perhaps it is time to get away from boats completely, at least for a while?

I think anjou has an excellent point in that the feelings may not relate to boats at all.

Life begins where land ends.
David M is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-01-2010, 10:52   #11
Registered User
Jetexas's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Houston, TX
Boat: 1982 Oday 34
Posts: 436
Images: 10
I know all about those feelings of being "suckered." A lot of mine came from staying in a dead-end job too long or spending way too much time and money keeping old cars running.

I restored a 66 Mustang and drove it for four years thinking, this thing is going to be so great when it's all finished and reliable. Yet, even once every part of that thing had been replaced, it still had a new problem that required at least one weekend a month to repair it and keep it running. It wore me down and became a hassle instead of a joy. Eventually it ended up shut in the garage and sat for two years before I could bring myself to sell it, but letting go of that gave me the ability to pursue other interests.

Boats are like that car. There's no, "I'm done with the work" point. There's no, "It's finally reliable, no more repairs" point. However, you have to remember, everything that you go through with it is knowledge. It's lessons learned. It gives you subject matter expertise and enables you to be that much more self reliant.

If working on your boat is no longer fulfilling, maybe you've learned all you can learn from this life experience. What's is telling you? Perhaps it's time to take all this knowledge and use it to find a newer/larger/different boat that would be a better fit. Perhaps it's time to downsize the boat to a weekend cruiser and invest in a condo nearby that requires zero maintenance, so your time is freed up for other jobs/hobbies/interests.

Then again, as Anjou mentioned, the feeling of being worn out may come from not being fulfilled in your job or unhappy with your current role in life and that's just being taken out on the boat. I have no idea if you work or not, but if not, a job or volunteering with an organization can do wonders as far as giving your life a feeling of purpose. If you do work, and you're miserable, go find something new. Lots of people feel trapped because they've been in a job so long, but they never actually look at what's available.

Definitely communicate all of this to your partner. The worst thing you can do is nothing and just keep bottling up the feelings because eventually it explodes.
Jetexas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-01-2010, 11:00   #12
Senior Cruiser
delmarrey's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Somewhere along the US West Coast
Boat: Modified Choate 40
Posts: 10,469
Images: 122
Either you've been tied to the dock too long or been at sea too long. Either way you just need a little change like changing ports or even boats.

As we get older or priorities change but not who we are. If your a boat person, that will never change. It's new challanges that keep life interesting.

As I say at work; "I'm just a phone call away from choas". A new day may bring new happenings. Stay active and reach out to new activities.
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful!
A nation of sheep breeds a government of wolves!

Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints!
delmarrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-01-2010, 13:12   #13
Senior Cruiser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Whangaparaoa,NZ
Boat: 63 ft John Spencer Schooner
Posts: 951
Cruising blues is a common ailment. Even sitting in paradise you have bad days. Take a break, don't feel guilty about it, or better still - go sailing. It will pass.

dana-tenacity is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-01-2010, 14:16   #14
Registered User
Solitude's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: West Coast, BC , Canada
Boat: Cascade
Posts: 595
Watch the movie Yes Man!
Go outside and PLAY!
Solitude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-01-2010, 16:51   #15
Senior Cruiser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: between the devil and the deep blue sea
Boat: a sailing boat
Posts: 15,090
Oh, then just give it (cruising, living aboard) up, and go on to the thing that does make you tick. Who said sailing is for ever. Sometimes even true love is not.

If you feel you want to give it one last dance, why not take a year's break and sail to a remote and attractive location? If you are US based say to the Pacific and back? Who knows, maybe the charm will be back.

That's the beauty of life (in my eyes) that we can find different things attractive at different points of time and go and chase the changing dream.


barnakiel is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Feeling Yachts shadow Monohull Sailboats 7 11-12-2012 09:00
Today I Am Feeling Overwhelmed sarafina Families, Kids and Pets Afloat 37 09-09-2009 01:47
Feeling 246 DI gbendaly Monohull Sailboats 1 21-08-2009 05:47
are you feeling the pinch philip van praag Liveaboard's Forum 163 04-03-2008 18:10
My first post - I have a feeling it might not be my last Jolly Roger Monohull Sailboats 25 03-12-2006 00:57

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities

Copyright 2002-2015 Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 22:24.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.