Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 24-08-2010, 12:09   #1
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Victoria
Boat: Custom, 35' Sloop - Privateer II
Posts: 22
Fear and Anxiety - Dodds Narrows ! Advice, Please . . .

We hit a patch of bad weather, and since then my daughter is scared to sail, motor, or anchor... she pretty much wants to stay tied to the dock. We are at the end of our summer cruise and heading south to Victoria for the winter. We are now in Nanaimo, ready to go through Dodds Narrows, but my daughter is refusing too.... We arn't sure what to do, so we have been sitting here day after day, hoping her fear will go away. She is 11. We live on our boat.
__________________

__________________
cyberkitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-08-2010, 12:15   #2
Ram
Registered User
 
Ram's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: May 2005
Location: Cruising Greece
Boat: Cat in the med & Trawler in Florida
Posts: 2,298
Images: 27
Make sure the weather is very good and go!She will regain her confidence!
__________________

__________________
Ram is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-08-2010, 12:57   #3
Senior Cruiser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Nevada City. CA
Boat: Sceptre 41
Posts: 3,745
Images: 9
I can understand her trepidation Dodds Narrows is a bit frightful. Especailly if you have any log booms at the plant or tugs trying to pass you. When you hit the tides correct it is not too bad. I remember sailing up towards Nanaimo and dropping my chute right as I came into the narrows then turning the engine on and motoring straight thru. There was another sailboat waiting for exactly slack tide who followed in right behind us. In the old days you could have given her a couple of shots of grog and then let her pass out in the bunk but someone might call Child Protective Services these days. There is the option of going around Dodd's Narrows and coming in the Gulf Islands thru one of the other passes.

I would just explain to her that as long as the currents are correct that it is easy to go thru the Narrows and tell it is alright to be scared but not alright to let that fear take control of you. Then try and do the narrows when she is asleep.
__________________
Fair Winds,

Charlie

Between us there was, as I have already said somewhere, the bond of the sea. Besides holding our hearts together through long periods of separation, it had the effect of making us tolerant of each other's yarns -- and even convictions. Heart of Darkness
Joseph Conrad
Charlie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-08-2010, 13:08   #4
Senior Cruiser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Out there doin' it
Boat: 47' Olympic Adventure
Posts: 2,633
How justified is your daughter's fear? Is it just her, or did you scare yourself good too? If just her, you should pick a really nice day with benign conditions and go sailing just out past Snake Is (stay out of the way of the ferries). If confidence is restored, then carry on with trip to Victoria. Dodd Narrows isn't actually all that scary, but gets quite busy at the slacks; that can include some fairly large traffic including the odd tug with tow. Definitely monitor 16 and the traffic channel (ch 11 iirc) - big stuff wanting a wide berth normally send a Securite call. If you go against a weak flood, you won't make as much speed over the ground but you'll find it a bit easier to control your heading; go as near to the centre as you can and gun it - try to avoid the eddies.
I wouldn't suggest going until your daughter has regained a bit of her nerve. The winds can pick up pretty quick and turn Trinconmali Ch into an unpleasant experience, where there's few places to hide.
__________________
Lodesman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-08-2010, 13:15   #5
Senior Cruiser
 
jackdale's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Calgary, AB, Canada
Posts: 5,040
Images: 1
Is it Dodds that is scaring her? Gabriola is an option, albeit a longer one and it does involve going out into Georgia Strait. A little time in Silva might help.
__________________
ISPA Yachtmaster Ocean Instructor Evaluator
Sail Canada Advanced Cruising Instructor
IYT Yachtmaster Coastal Instructor
ASA 201, 203,204, 205, 206, 214
As I sail, I praise God, and care not. (Luke Foxe)
jackdale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26-08-2010, 20:25   #6
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Victoria
Boat: Custom, 35' Sloop - Privateer II
Posts: 22
Well we did it! We waited for the weather to be perfect and we went through dodds. My daughter was over her fear as soon as we went through. She even ran to the front of the boat to be look out. So I guess the best way to beat fear is by just doing it!
__________________
cyberkitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26-08-2010, 21:06   #7
Senior Cruiser
 
jackdale's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Calgary, AB, Canada
Posts: 5,040
Images: 1
Bravo
__________________
ISPA Yachtmaster Ocean Instructor Evaluator
Sail Canada Advanced Cruising Instructor
IYT Yachtmaster Coastal Instructor
ASA 201, 203,204, 205, 206, 214
As I sail, I praise God, and care not. (Luke Foxe)
jackdale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26-08-2010, 21:08   #8
Registered User

Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,060
Fear is often justified, but can be magnified when parents and other role-models treat it as a big deal. Life has its risks and if you coddle fear you reinforce that behavior in the fearful child. In this case the child was afraid from the experience of not being in control in a storm.

I'm not saying to ignore it or treat it as insignificant, it's real. I'm saying it needs to be put in perspective and on some sympathetic level parents need to give kids (or spouse) the message they need to stiffen up and "deal with it" in perspective that living isn't always about easy or safe choices, and they can influence (if not control) the outcome by decision and actions.

As for being look out -- getting fearful people to be active in the role of helping work through the challenge puts them back in control.

I always try to get the crew involved in steering, lookout, navigating, etc. It makes us a team.
__________________
SailFastTri is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26-08-2010, 21:24   #9
Moderator Emeritus
 
Pblais's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hayes, VA
Boat: Gozzard 36
Posts: 8,700
Images: 15
Send a message via Skype™ to Pblais
Quote:
So I guess the best way to beat fear is by just doing it!
It is if it turns out as it did you are correct. It's all how you look at things. I will say in a state of fear you don't tend to do or say the right thing. It's not limited by age. You can become paralyzed and do the wrong thing or more often worse - do nothing.

An 11 year old child takes cues from the people around.
__________________
Paul Blais
s/v Bright Eyes Gozzard 36
37 15.7 N 76 28.9 W
Pblais is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-08-2010, 00:00   #10
Moderator Emeritus
 
hummingway's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Gabriola Island & Victoria, British Columbia
Boat: Cooper 416 Honeysuckle
Posts: 6,933
Images: 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyberkitty View Post
Well we did it! We waited for the weather to be perfect and we went through dodds. My daughter was over her fear as soon as we went through. She even ran to the front of the boat to be look out. So I guess the best way to beat fear is by just doing it!
... and doing it at the right time, when the currents are friendly
__________________
“We are the universe contemplating itself” - Carl Sagan

hummingway is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-08-2010, 14:57   #11
Registered User
 
Sailbad's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 39
Sailfasttri has it right.
Involve the youngsters in the planning and navigation so making them part of the decision process - and make it fun!
__________________
Sailbadoften
Sailbad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-08-2010, 14:59   #12
Senior Cruiser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Nevada City. CA
Boat: Sceptre 41
Posts: 3,745
Images: 9
Good Stuff.
__________________

__________________
Fair Winds,

Charlie

Between us there was, as I have already said somewhere, the bond of the sea. Besides holding our hearts together through long periods of separation, it had the effect of making us tolerant of each other's yarns -- and even convictions. Heart of Darkness
Joseph Conrad
Charlie is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Second Narrows Bridge in Vancouver, BC JulieD Pacific & South China Sea 13 28-06-2011 19:52
Women and Fear CFR Families, Kids and Pets Afloat 54 26-11-2010 07:50
Fear and The Cruising Sailor maxingout General Sailing Forum 125 23-02-2010 15:09
Any tips for Cape Fear River? Aquah0lic General Sailing Forum 17 28-01-2009 17:25
Tackling the Fear Factor seasidesis Families, Kids and Pets Afloat 22 05-08-2008 20:36



Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:38.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.