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Old 18-06-2008, 18:17   #16
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ooh, that sounded good. Its like deep fried, fresh tenderized conch meat slices, right?
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Old 18-06-2008, 18:28   #17
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Benj,

The recipe is in the book, but she also includes a description of preparing the conch. I ignored that part, to my peril. It's not easy for a beginner, and VERY messy. Catching conch is easy. Getting it out of it's shell and cleaning it is not! We prevailed, with the help of a nice Rasta man who was passing by. It was a real education.

To prepare Cracked Conch, you put some lime juice and Crystal sauce on the cleaned conch bits and let them sit for a while. Then put them in egg beaten with some water, and dredge the pieces in cracker crumbs. Saute in a little oil, tossing (not deep fried) until lightly browned. Drizzle lime juice and more Crystal sauce on, and WOW! Nothing like fresh conch!
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Old 18-06-2008, 18:53   #18
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Pick the best day you can and take a short trip where it's only going to be fun and easy. Don't push your luck on the first sail or the first date. Sailing pretty much sells itself. After that the sea sicknees issue may follow.

Our first sailing instructor was an interesting woman from France. She went sailing as a kid and was dragged by her parents every weekend out on the family boat. She always got sea sick and threw up. Now she races and teaches sailing. Mostly becuase she likes it and she out grew the propensity for getting sick. If you like to sail more than you hate getting sick it works.

Another friend of ours gets sick just sitting on the boat at the dock with no waves. She just can't get past that. Somethings don't work and are never going to work.
I think this is the best advice. I would not try to force it at all, nor would I try to 'convince' her of anything. It will either work out or it wont.
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Old 29-06-2008, 15:01   #19
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With us it was the reserve, I love sailing and my boyfriend (now husband) didn’t have a clue, So I introduce him to sailing on nice flat seas with steady breezes and sunshine. He has gone from strength to strength and now we squabble over who is the skipper. ( He's an RYA Day skipper and I'm an RYA Costal Skipper.) We started on a leisure 17, and have since jumped up to a Sigma 33C. We sail mainly in the Irish Sea and around Anglesey.

Make happy memories and get her to fall in love with it. If that means reefing sooner do it. Stay another day in port. Don’t get stressed out with the weather.

Let her helm and don’t assume she understand what your talking about!

Above all, no-one likes it when they are shouted at. So don’t be a yeller! Explain what you’re tying to do when coming alongside the dock and what you want her to do.

How about having an instructor on your own boat? This has worked well for me this year with a number of other girls who are fed up with dictatorial husbands, it allowed me to get to grips with bits of the boat I don’t normally do. (Engine work mainly) We were shown a really good man overboard technique for when there is just two of you.

Remember, you need to tell her when to slip, she can’t read minds which is something my husband forgets! As for the books, I found the pardrays book well worth reading and the cruising woman’s advisor both of which will give reading lists.
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Old 29-06-2008, 15:19   #20
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Another great book that my girlfriend really enjoyed was Changing Course by Debra Ann Cantrell. Like your girl, my girlfriend (now ex) didn't know anything about sailing, but was curious. This book helped introduce her to the concept of living aboard a boat. It's aimed specifically at girls who's man has a strong desire to live on a boat and circumnavigate (or at least sail far).
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Old 29-06-2008, 15:24   #21
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another suggestion " Sailing Promise" by Alayne Main
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Old 29-06-2008, 16:41   #22
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Don't forget one of the best sailing love stories "Dove" by Robin Graham.

Sparks the dream.

Fair Winds
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Old 29-06-2008, 17:40   #23
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There's a great book on sailing basics by Doris Colgate, called "Sailing for Women" or something like that. My husband and I have two copies, one at home and one on the boat as we are constantly referring to it. It's something she might enjoy reading to get a sense that "girls can do that" and it's FUN!
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Old 29-06-2008, 19:55   #24
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Originally Posted by Georgiegirl View Post
<snip>

Above all, no-one likes it when they are shouted at. So donít be a yeller! Explain what youíre tying to do when coming alongside the dock and what you want her to do.

How about having an instructor on your own boat? This has worked well for me this year with a number of other girls who are fed up with dictatorial husbands, it allowed me to get to grips with bits of the boat I donít normally do. (Engine work mainly) We were shown a really good man overboard technique for when there is just two of you.
<snip>
In the context of your term "dictatorial husbands," Georgiegirl, I'm guessing the "really good man overboard technique" you were shown might well be the always effective Scruff of the Neck, Seat of the Pants, Heave-HOOOoooooooo . . . Technique.

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Old 28-12-2008, 17:21   #25
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If the woman is not sure if she wants to go on a boat, a book is not going to change her mind.

Women base their opinion on emotion, not logic.

The best way to do it would be to show her the boat, let her get comfortable with the boat and fall in love with the idea herself.

Don't try pushing her into anything. She'll automatically run away.
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Old 28-12-2008, 17:38   #26
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If the woman is not sure if she wants to go on a boat, a book is not going to change her mind.

Women base their opinion on emotion, not logic.

The best way to do it would be to show her the boat, let her get comfortable with the boat and fall in love with the idea herself.

Don't try pushing her into anything. She'll automatically run away.
LOL.

The Ronnie Simpson story (the sailing part) is over. Keep reading and you will find that he abandoned his boat in the Pacific.
Oh, and he was alone.
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Old 28-12-2008, 17:40   #27
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CB...Great advice...just so you know Ronnie was rescued at sea 700 miles out from California...the girl made the right choice ...she stayed behind...


Oops ..Therapy beat me to it.
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Old 28-12-2008, 18:07   #28
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The book you are lookin' for is "The Cruising Woman's Advisor" : Amazon.com: The Cruising Woman's Advisor, Second Edition: Diana Jessie: Books

Trust me, I know of what I speak. Also, add in Joshua Slocums "Sailing alone around the World", and "An embarrassment of Mangoes". Viola! Done deal!
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Old 28-12-2008, 19:48   #29
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Not everyone can fall in love with sailing even when they want to because their man is really into it. For some it is sea sickness, or simply the fear of mechanical things and the idea of having to manage the boat if the skipper can't for some reason.

Some prefer more luxury and comfort than a sailboat offers. They can't get comfortable with life on the tilt or constant motion. But this doesn't apply ONLY to women, but it seems to apply to more women than men.

If a women can tolerate what she doesn't like and find things about sailing which she does than there can be a common ground. I know that my wife would never come on board if I were into racing. But cruising, to fun and beautiful places is something she likes. She doesn't like nasty weather so we try to sail when the weather's fair, but when it turns bad, she weathers it fine.

I like her company and so I don't care if she works at sailing or on the boat. I take care of the boat and make sure she is comfortable and in exchange I get her love, per presence some nice meals and conversation. It's a deal I think is fair. I get to mess about on the boat whenever I want and she doesn't have to worry about me getting into trouble.

It works.
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Old 28-12-2008, 19:55   #30
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Women base their opinion on emotion, not logic.
I think that is really close but incomplete. It's mostly fear and has not much to do with being a woman. Fear is serious stuff and crosses both sexes. If you are scared enough you won't do anything even if it is the right thing. It's a basic emotion unrelated to sex that paralyzes. The "Oh there is nothing to be afraid of" stuff really won't remove doubts. That is the part where being a woman comes in. So it really is all about sex.

To overcome fear you need confidence. To build confidence requires trust and validation though experience. If it gets to the point where it's "I know what hell is and it's being on a boat with you" you've lost more ground than probably can be made up without a 3rd party. It means the sailing instructor will steal your girl friend.

The hard part is you don't overcome fears without some desire to want to. You have to find that part of the solution before there is any chance of moving forward. Wanting to do something can lead to doing it maybe. If at the end of the day it's more like "I would rather kiss a goat" you need to take no for an answer. You've lost any chance of validation because you have blown your credibility - you've been a real insensitive jerk. So at this point she hates both boating and you. If it's a contest of which she hates more just what chance do you have? Even if you win so what if there is one thing she hates more than you?
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