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Old 03-03-2010, 17:52   #46
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My comment was not directed at you.
regards John

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Old 03-03-2010, 18:11   #47
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This may seem ironic, but today I asked our sailmaker to build us a new jib, and I'm blaming my wife because this was her idea. On the last boat we had a 110% jib that we used during the winter months and an 85% we used during the summer, at which time it seems to blow 25 knots every day here in SF Bay. We haven't yet built a summer jib for the new boat because we've been concentrating on solar panels, a wind generator, graywater system, et cetera. So, when our accountant called yesterday to announce we'd be getting a refund on this year's federal taxes, my wife said, "That's enough for a summer jib."

Yes, dear. Whatever makes you happy, dear.

cruising is entirely about showing up--in boat shoes.
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Old 04-03-2010, 08:38   #48
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Originally Posted by sarafina View Post
Funny... we were unanimous in loving three smallest, oldest and cheapest boats at the show...
Such near unanimity is extraordinary, from my observation – and to be envied… but such harmony may come from near equivalent experience(s) and similarly focused fascination with sailing. I’m not sure guys always pick smaller/larger, more/less utilitarian and less/more cozy vessels, but having different perspectives between Admiral and skipper doesn't seem to be uncommon…

Last year, we went aboard a recent acquaintance’s upper-forty-footer and my Admiral was gushing with appreciation and envy. They had recently returned from a cruise in Scandinavia and the vessel barely looked like it had been out of port, not a three year north Atlantic tour. With admiration, my wife asked what I thought – I too appreciated all the communication, propulsion, housekeeping and energy systems, but what I saw was many, many (many… did I mention “many”) hours of maintenance and upkeep to keep all those systems running. Having lived aboard that size, my perspective was somewhat different and biased, I’ll admit, but I think differences in opinion about what a vessel should be has a lot to do with where the spouses (individually) envision using it.

Is the vessel to be a daysailier (regardless of size), a week-ender, a tropical vagabond or must it be capable of a circumnavigation around the capes. I don’t think that’s a husband versus wife, gender or other demographic style question – but rather more of a simple “expectations” question.

Worry: misuse of imagination…
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Old 04-03-2010, 09:16   #49
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It's funny how "the Wife" seems to be able to get along without all the "toys" when "she" has to install all of them "herself".
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Old 06-03-2010, 08:52   #50
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my "wife" is my formosa 41----lol---she wants and wants and wants--lol--hard to keep up with her..LOL
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Old 08-03-2010, 14:09   #51
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Originally Posted by Livia View Post
Often on forums a man will post a question about his need for a huge boat, with a big generator, AC, and all of the other gadgets that money can buy...and somewhere in the post make certain to add that all of these additions are "because his wife insists".

Surely sometimes this is true. The wife really is insisting on a hair dryer, AC, a walk-in freezer and a blender operated by a hot cabana boy named Tyrone.

But sometimes, don't you think, just maybe, the wife is a convenient excuse for walking into a marine store, inhaling the smell of newness, whipping out the plastic and cracking open the packaging on a big, expensive, shiny, new boat toy?

I think you are spot on. We love our boats and we love our wives. Any excuse to try and make both happy is a good excuse to spend, add, and upgrade. Where's the harm? Well...

I've recently been researching this topic for a forthcoming book, and what wives want more than anything else is a competent captain. There are several "creature comforts," that rank very, very high on her list as well.

Above all else, she wants to be comfortable on board. That means abundant water, a dry and comfortable birth, heat when it's cold and relief from the heat when it's hot. She also wants to be able to look her best; her appearance is much more important to her than to anyone else on board. A hair dryer? If you've got the power, why not.

There is a harm in too many goodies on board. If the time and energy spent installing and maintaining takes too much away from the time and energy spent enjoying the cruising experience together as a couple, she will feel neglected and that, "this isn't as much fun as you promised." The last thing you want in the cruising equation is resentment over your dedication to the boat over her (in fact this sinks many dreams before they ever leave the dock).

Your wife wants to feel nurtured, protected and loved, first and foremost. If new equipment (like a jib) helps you do that, then good deal. But remember that if you do ever get out there for the big cruise, you will spend more time fixing complicated equipment to make that hair dryer go, and that will not make anyone happy.
Nick O'Kelly -"A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving." - Lao Tzu
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Old 15-03-2010, 04:46   #52
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Originally Posted by zeehag View Post
my "wife" is my formosa 41----lol---she wants and wants and wants--lol--hard to keep up with her..LOL
What about BoatKat? I heard that cats have staff.
Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his own brow?
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Old 15-03-2010, 13:02   #53
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I am fortunate to be in a kind of gender role reversal with dergon_gf (will become mrs_dergon in September).

She is the mechanical engineer and takes on most of the work for routine maintenance (although we do outsource the majority). She gets to think through all the maintenance issues etc as we dream about new toys. She also acts as general contractor for when we do have work done....keeps folks on task and on schedule.

I get to function primarily as the financing wing of the operation, although I am also qualified to menial tasks and heavy lifting

I consider myself quite lucky to have her (both the boat and the future wife)....and that she talked me into learning to sail.
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Old 26-06-2010, 13:08   #54
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I'm a wife and I love my husband.
I'm a Mate, and sometimes I really hate my Skipper.
Hard to believe they're one and the same person.

And if he says "whatever you want, dear, just write it on the list" one more bloody time, I'll shove the darned list down his throat where it's more likely to get results.


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