Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 31-05-2010, 14:01   #91
Moderator Emeritus
 
hummingway's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Gabriola Island & Victoria, British Columbia
Boat: Cooper 416 Honeysuckle
Posts: 6,933
Images: 5
Cabana Boy

Wow, now there's a job I want. How do you go about getting it? At what age does the term boy no longer apply?
__________________

__________________
“We are the universe contemplating itself” - Carl Sagan

hummingway is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-05-2010, 14:17   #92
Registered User
 
flysci's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Panama, en route to Mexico
Boat: CS36T, 36'
Posts: 586
Quote:
Originally Posted by hummingway View Post
Wow, now there's a job I want. How do you go about getting it? At what age does the term boy no longer apply?
"Boy" is more an attitude than an age! LOL
__________________

__________________
M. Roark
s/v Baja Beagle

"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." -Groucho Marx
flysci is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 02:54   #93
Registered User
 
mintyspilot's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 834
Quote:
Originally Posted by flysci View Post
And boats or not, women continue to live with all the day to day slights, if not slings and arrows, at least needles and pinches, that are thoughtlessly tossed around.
It cuts both ways Flysci - try being a man in today's society where, if you want to anything with kids, you are viewed as a paedophile because the common perception is that "real men" don't want anything to do with kids.
__________________
mintyspilot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 03:31   #94
CF Adviser
 
Pelagic's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 6,891
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bash View Post
enjoyed the article, Livia.

I've long maintained that the term "Captain" is archaic when applied to a cruising yacht co-owned by a cruising couple. The sooner we get rid of the captain concept, the less we'll talk of "The Admiral."

"Galley Wench," on the other hand, carries a certain historical resonance. Would hate to see that one deconstructed.
I also enjoyed your article Livia and did not realize until I read it, how much the term has become popular with cruising couples as a pink connotation with ovaries.

Perhaps the historical precedent was Admiral Horatio Nelson, when he proffered on his deathbed…. ‘Kiss me Hardy”...

I do disagree with Bash on the term captain for practical and legal reasons, but that has probably more to do with my professional licensing than ego.


Wench however is a term I love to use as a private endearment….. even used it in a reggae chorus to explain what can happen in heavy weather…

Seas are getting stormy…I am getting horny,
the only tail I need, is not from a winch but a wench
this is sailing my friend…ain’t it the livin end…

Now … who could take offence to that?
__________________
Pelagic is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 04:38   #95
Registered User
 
wingNwing's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: subject to change
Posts: 270
Quote:
Originally Posted by mintyspilot View Post
It cuts both ways Flysci - try being a man in today's society where, if you want to anything with kids, you are viewed as a paedophile because the common perception is that "real men" don't want anything to do with kids.
Yes, gender-based prejudgements and generalizations and stereotypes hurt everyone ... so why are some of the folks responding to this thread so desperately defending their use of them?
__________________
wingNwing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 05:54   #96
Registered User
 
mintyspilot's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 834
Quote:
Originally Posted by wingNwing View Post
Yes, gender-based prejudgements and generalizations and stereotypes hurt everyone ... so why are some of the folks responding to this thread so desperately defending their use of them?
I wasn't aware I was defending them....

I'm surprised I haven't morphed into a female given the amount of oestrogen I'm surrounded by. Wife, daughters, female cat, daughters' friends (all female), wife's friends (all female), widow next door and another widow on the other side.

Given that I'm surrounded by that lot 24/7 I think I get on with women rather well Survival requires it!
__________________
mintyspilot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 06:36   #97
Registered User
 
wingNwing's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: subject to change
Posts: 270
Sorry, mintyspilot, not you - there are those who refuse to acknowledge that their choice of words might - just might - be construed as portraying a less-than-respectful attitude. Then when that's pointed out, they insist the woman is the one who's overly sensitive!
__________________
wingNwing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 07:54   #98
Senior Cruiser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,594
The captain is in charge of the boat. The Admiral is in chrage of the captain.
__________________
Randy

Cape Dory 25D Seraph
rtbates is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 08:37   #99
Moderator Emeritus
 
FrankZ's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chesapeake Bay
Boat: Bristol 35 Bellesa
Posts: 13,565
Images: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bash View Post
"Galley Wench," on the other hand, carries a certain historical resonance. Would hate to see that one deconstructed.
Hear hear!
__________________
Sing to a sailor's courage, Sing while the elbows bend,
A ruby port your harbor, Raise three sheets to the wind.
......................-=Krynnish drinking song=-
FrankZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 09:22   #100
Registered User
 
Fishman_Tx's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Beeville, Tx.
Boat: 1969 Morgan 40 Cruising Ketch "Lady Catherine II", 1973 Bristol 34 - "Our Baby"(RIP), Catalina 22
Posts: 876
Images: 12
Like I said in an earlier post..Honestly, I think it's much ado about nothing.

Sorry, need to express myself. All in love, not just fussin'....

The offense to terminology/nicknames used within a relationship, is only relevant to the couple involved. No other opinions matter. If my wife wants to call me "Her Bitch" (not that she does) and I enjoy it, then no one else's opinion matters, whether someone else is offended or not. A lot of "emotional energy" (to borrow your term) has been spent in the pursuit of things that really are no one else's business. Most PCism is a crock anyway, but that's not to say there aren't some legitmate issues. I think there are way too many people out there with a chip on their shoulder, looking to be offended.
As a retired military NCO in charge of other troops, I've seen and dealt with this many times. One soldier was "booted" during training because she felt an instructor had "singled her out" and filed charges accordingly. Of course, it didn't matter that she sat right in front of the podium which was not 3 feet in front of her position and the instructor would likely look in her direction during lecture. After all was said and done she got booted and the instructor was reassigned to cover the PC angle. This guy was the nicest, and one of the best instructors they had. Oh BTW, I was not staff, I was the class leader and had known this soldier for almost 8 months, in and out of the class, every day. This is what happens when people go around with the PC "chip".
I guess to sum it all up...
If my flourescent green T-shirt offends someone, the best thing they need to do is to get over it. I'm certainly not going to change my shirt because they don't like it.

Ok enuf soapbox, the world needs to "lighten up", .
Live, and Let Live.

If Mama likes being called Admiral... then Admiral she is. Whether anyone else likes it or not.

(and I'm still "her bitch") .

Fish
__________________
Fishman_Tx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 09:39   #101
Moderator... short for Cat Wrangler
 
sarafina's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: San Francisco
Boat: Cal 28 Flush Deck
Posts: 5,559
Images: 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by rtbates View Post
The captain is in charge of the boat. The Admiral is in chrage of the captain.
yep, got that in one.

I think for most couples is a humorous respectful way of balancing the dynamic that exists in many marriages vis a vis the roles on the boat.

It applys when the guy is the one in the lead position for the immediate stuff; pull that line, put your weight *there*, hold this like this until I say do that with it. pass me the whatchit and get me a whoosit please.

Then the day comes when he thinks that what they really need is that cool new furler he has had his eye on in the sailor's wish book... and then the admiral comes into her own. "well sweetheart, I know you REALLY want that new furler, but the one we have still works, and when we budgeted for the extra haul out and the replacement mattress in the v berth so our backs would stop killing us we really used up the discretionary funds for the next few months. And tuition is due at the Academy for Small Sailors To Be next month... so lets wait on the furler, ok?"

That's why she's the admiral. It acknowledges that while he may be the captain she holds a unique position in the naval chain of command. with a bit of tongue in cheek.
__________________
Sara

ain't what ya do, it's the way that ya do it...
sarafina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 09:41   #102
Registered User
 
flysci's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Panama, en route to Mexico
Boat: CS36T, 36'
Posts: 586
Thumbs up Amen!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mintyspilot View Post
It cuts both ways Flysci - try being a man in today's society where, if you want to anything with kids, you are viewed as a paedophile because the common perception is that "real men" don't want anything to do with kids.
Have to agree. Men have plenty of stereotypes to content with too. (How about 'must obey the wife" as one? Haha) Just hope you and others aren't subjected to them in your most intimate relationship, spouse or whatever.

That's the topic right? I don't know about others, I was speaking for myself and what I would want/tolerate. Others relationships are always a mystery to outsiders.

Margo
__________________
M. Roark
s/v Baja Beagle

"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." -Groucho Marx
flysci is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 10:02   #103
Registered User
 
mintyspilot's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 834
Quote:
Originally Posted by flysci View Post
Have to agree. Men have plenty of stereotypes to content with too. (How about 'must obey the wife" as one? Haha)
That's just common sense. Women *can* talk more than men can listen - trust me on this - and for a quiet life it is best to keep her happy. On the plus side a happy wife is so much better than the alternative. Who likes being around miserable so-and-sos?

Quote:
Originally Posted by flysci View Post
Just hope you and others aren't subjected to them in your most intimate relationship, spouse or whatever.
I suspect in any "proper" relationship, you are too close for any stereotype to survive. After 20 years of marriage I think I've eliminated the stereotypes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by flysci View Post
Others relationships are always a mystery to outsiders.

Margo
And a good thing too.
__________________
mintyspilot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 10:02   #104
Registered User
 
Fishman_Tx's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Beeville, Tx.
Boat: 1969 Morgan 40 Cruising Ketch "Lady Catherine II", 1973 Bristol 34 - "Our Baby"(RIP), Catalina 22
Posts: 876
Images: 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarafina View Post
yep, got that in one.

I think for most couples is a humorous respectful way of balancing the dynamic that exists in many marriages vis a vis the roles on the boat.

It applys when the guy is the one in the lead position for the immediate stuff; pull that line, put your weight *there*, hold this like this until I say do that with it. pass me the whatchit and get me a whoosit please.

Then the day comes when he thinks that what they really need is that cool new furler he has had his eye on in the sailor's wish book... and then the admiral comes into her own. "well sweetheart, I know you REALLY want that new furler, but the one we have still works, and when we budgeted for the extra haul out and the replacement mattress in the v berth so our backs would stop killing us we really used up the discretionary funds for the next few months. And tuition is due at the Academy for Small Sailors To Be next month... so lets wait on the furler, ok?"

That's why she's the admiral. It acknowledges that while he may be the captain she holds a unique position in the naval chain of command. with a bit of tongue in cheek.
Right! This helps balance us out when we fail to see the larger picture due to our tendency to aquire tunnel vision (especially when it comes to new toys, we're like kids in the cereal aisle sometimes).

Quote:
Originally Posted by flysci View Post
Have to agree. Men have plenty of stereotypes to content with too. (How about 'must obey the wife" as one? Haha) Just hope you and others aren't subjected to them in your most intimate relationship, spouse or whatever.

That's the topic right? I don't know about others, I was speaking for myself and what I would want/tolerate. Others relationships are always a mystery to outsiders.

Margo
It's all in fun. Wish I had a partner like that. Unfortunately, I married a "Princess" 15 years ago. Won't go into any detail, i'll just leave it at that. Read my signature (last line), says it all.
__________________
Fish
"Behind every great man there is a woman, rolling her eyes."
But not for long! Now she's gone!
and peace and tranquility reign forever!
1969 Morgan 40 Cruising Ketch
Fishman_Tx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 22:16   #105
Registered User
 
Livia's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Currently boatless
Posts: 637
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishman_Tx View Post
The offense to terminology/nicknames used within a relationship, is only relevant to the couple involved. No other opinions matter. If my wife wants to call me "Her Bitch" (not that she does) and I enjoy it, then no one else's opinion matters, whether someone else is offended or not.
I completely agree.

It becomes more awkward for me when someone I don't know or just met applies the term to me. It's the same as when someone has questions about gear on our boat and they ask Carol (my husband) instead of me when we are both standing there. I understand why they do it, because on average more men in couples know about the gear specs than the women, but it still rankles.
__________________

Livia is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Mr Heroines Have Always Been Admirals starfish62 Families, Kids and Pets Afloat 1 11-03-2009 21:49



Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:47.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.