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Old 24-05-2010, 03:38   #61
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Well said, 04 Marine. Very much my attitude.
Drinky will learn. Sounds like he's found a good first mate for now, hopefully it's the right one and he won't mind her promotion too much!
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Old 24-05-2010, 04:23   #62
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The Sailing Life is a partnership, but ultimately someone makes the deciding rationale and you do it together.

There are times to discuss and then there are critical times to just follow orders and that is what the elected Captain is held responsible for.

How Captain he/she achieves that vote of confidence is really a measure of their abilities and importantly how good a communicator they are… for ultimately …. a good captain’s job is to teach his replacement and calling that replacement the Admiral...I think is just silly and confusing.

Perhaps if we just modified it to “Admin” it could become more politically correct than Admiral…
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Old 24-05-2010, 05:07   #63
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Admirals are just not on cruising boats, more often than not they are ataioned on land, I know I have one stationed in our house.
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Old 24-05-2010, 06:47   #64
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We skipped the term "Admiral" and went right to "Princess". Even her boat hat is embroidered with "Princess".

Background:
Many years ago wen Star Wars was still a relatively new movie and I was out to sea with the US Navy, our boys would race around the house playing Luke Skywalker and Han Solo. They would encourage my wife, Lela, to play the Princess since her name was close to the movie character's, Princess Leia. The nickname stuck, even though our relationship is more of a team, similar to those described by many of the previous posters on this thread.
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Old 24-05-2010, 07:17   #65
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Cute story John
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Old 27-05-2010, 11:23   #66
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Published!

The piece is somewhat of a short tongue-in-cheek guest post on the Women & Cruising site about why I don't like being called an Admiral. I didn't delve into the issue as much as I would have liked to but my time right now is limited. Perhaps later.

If you haven't already seen it, the Women & Cruising site is an impressive free resource. Founded and run by women who are movers and shakers in the cruising world. They've each agreed to be interviewed for the IWAC project as well.

Their resources page contains a ton of information for cruisers of all genders. I recommend a look.
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Old 27-05-2010, 19:00   #67
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Published!

The piece is somewhat of a short tongue-in-cheek guest post on the Women & Cruising site about why I don't like being called an Admiral. I didn't delve into the issue as much as I would have liked to but my time right now is limited. Perhaps later.
OK Commodore Livia it is then
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Old 27-05-2010, 19:25   #68
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Who wants to be an Admiral??

I believe it's Commandante Livia!!
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Old 27-05-2010, 19:57   #69
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Am I the only one who calls my wife by name? I don't have any fantasy where I'm called captain - (hmmmmmm - nope - doesn't do it for me). My wife calls me by name and neither of us calls the other names
Yes, we've used the title of 'Captain' and 'Admiral' when joking around with others - but in truth - and like most true teammates we're both the boss - we both try to please the other and we each have a veto. I do like the old joke: in a marriage the man should be responsible for all the major decisions and the woman the minor ones. In almost 25 years of marriage there hasn't been any important decisions for me to make
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Old 28-05-2010, 07:13   #70
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Why is a man in a couple never the admiral and the woman the captain? The whole thing makes my stomach turn. I find it sexist and snarky and just plain cheap. Sort of goes with the stereotype of women getting "dragged aboard", the woman being the one who doesn't want the lifestyle or is the one who doesn't know how to sail, or is the one with the "fears" and so on.
You know, sometimes the woman DOES have more sailing experience than the man. Sometimes this lifestyle was her idea or at least equally hers. Sometimes HE is the one who dreams of a garden and she is the one who wants to keep sailing. I just think people need to watch it with the stereotypes.
I wonder if Ellen Macarthur's future life and sailing partner will call her the Admiral over drinks with the boys while assuming the role of captain simply for his gender?

(Cindy, schoonerdog's wife who is not wearing her glasses and she types this)
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Old 28-05-2010, 10:03   #71
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That's the Reverend Doctor Commodore Commandante Livia to you two!

I think I prefer to call each other "sexy" rather than first names. It's difficult to get mad at someone calling you "sexy" even if they are yelling. SEXY - GRAB THAT LINE!

Cindy - It's not the term that bothers me I think as much as, like you said, the assumption that it applies to me because I'm female. Last night we were talking about it and he said "I would be pissed if someone just met me and assumed I was the hands-off/director type rather than fully involved". On the other hand, I do think that it can be used in a loving way like "I've got to check with the Admiral". ICarol says "I've got to check with Livia".
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Old 28-05-2010, 11:40   #72
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Why is a man in a couple never the admiral and the woman the captain?
How do you know never? by stereotyping?

Quote:
The whole thing makes my stomach turn. I find it sexist and snarky and just plain cheap.
Always possible to take offence about what other folks get up to...................if wanting to .
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Old 28-05-2010, 11:43   #73
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"I've got to check with the Admiral".
What a croc. Every person in a relationship knows what the other person will say.
"I've gotta check with the Missus" is tantamount to saying NO!! But I'l SMS that when you have gone.

I know exactly what whats-her-name will say. So do you of your spouse.


I wonder what smiley to use?
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Old 28-05-2010, 13:51   #74
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What a croc. Every person in a relationship knows what the other person will say.
"I've gotta check with the Missus" is tantamount to saying NO!! But I'l SMS that when you have gone.
So true! SMS? wuzzat?
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Old 29-05-2010, 08:54   #75
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enjoyed the article, Livia.

I've long maintained that the term "Captain" is archaic when applied to a cruising yacht co-owned by a cruising couple. The sooner we get rid of the captain concept, the less we'll talk of "The Admiral."

"Galley Wench," on the other hand, carries a certain historical resonance. Would hate to see that one deconstructed.
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