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Old 20-05-2010, 11:31   #46
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I agree with you, Mariness. I've always thought it was used a bit condescendingly - an award with no meaning, like a crown from Burger King. I never liked the whole "she who must be obeyed" thing. Always seemed too much like a complaint about a nagging wife.

I would much rather have the title you propose, first mate. That is if I had a captain. But I don't, 'cause I have my own boat to sail!
FYI: The admiral is a condescending term the men give their women. I too would rather be called 1st mate but since I captain my boat I am Captain. Any man who comes on my boat, I shall call him Admiral and see how he likes it; Even though I will be making all the decisions and repairs, we will let him think he is in charge by calling him ADMIRAL!
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Old 20-05-2010, 13:57   #47
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FYI: The admiral is a condescending term the men give their women. I too would rather be called 1st mate but since I captain my boat I am Captain. Any man who comes on my boat, I shall call him Admiral and see how he likes it; Even though I will be making all the decisions and repairs, we will let him think he is in charge by calling him ADMIRAL!
Well, it's like Sarafina says "ain't what ya do, it's the way that ya do it..." It ain't what ya say, it's the way that ya say it. Condescending is all in the attitude.

If I was invited onto your boat and you called me admiral and smiled I would smile back. Call me that with a sarcastic sneer and I will thank you and leave.
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Old 20-05-2010, 16:01   #48
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yup

I couldn't agree more. Actually I'd be laughing at the role reversal.
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Old 21-05-2010, 05:16   #49
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FYI: The admiral is a condescending term the men give their women. I too would rather be called 1st mate but since I captain my boat I am Captain. Any man who comes on my boat, I shall call him Admiral and see how he likes it; Even though I will be making all the decisions and repairs, we will let him think he is in charge by calling him ADMIRAL!

I have only one thing to say, My wife is in charge!! ( The Admiral)
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Old 21-05-2010, 17:17   #50
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I find it a tongue in cheek derogatory term........
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Old 21-05-2010, 18:47   #51
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Can I be the Admiral, pretty please?

I would not mind being the Admiral on my own boat. To be able to say "Let's go there." and then to sit back and let someone else worry about all the problems and details and take all the responsibility, That would be heavenly.

Bit like owning one of those crewed megayachts.
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Old 23-05-2010, 13:14   #52
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as the skipper of a boat is only a skipper until obtaining a cpt license from uscg, no one has a title on my boat--i own it, kat is my security system, and anyone helping sail is a teammate...LOL.....
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Old 23-05-2010, 13:40   #53
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What's in a name - I guess it doesn't really matter, as long as he keeps doing what he's told....
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Old 23-05-2010, 14:47   #54
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Orissail had it right on page one to my mind.
"Whereas the Captain while master of the ship and in charge of the operation of the ship he must answer to the Admiral when something goes wrong. And the Admiral sets the tone and parameters of operation that the Captain executes."

In terms of the olde Navy, and the modern cruising couple, it is the Admiral that defines the purpose of the voyage, which may include specific ports and so on. The Captain (skipper is a less formal term for a non Naval boat) is then responsible for the safe handling of his ship, crew and just about everything to keep the admiral happy.
If you are going to take your wife with you, in expectations that she'll stay with you, then this seems an excellent arrangement. The only way a skipper can usurp the Admiral is when ship or crew are in danger for it is he that will be held responsible.
Admiral seems an excellent term, denoting respect for the Admiral and her views balanced against the feasibility of her plans.
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Old 23-05-2010, 15:39   #55
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I certainly appreciate the humor and dynamics that create the term "admiral" on a cruising boat.

In contrast to the the military analogy however, I've never had anyone on board other than the captain who is in a position to accept the financial, legal, logistical and ethical consequences of decisions made on the boat. If I'm ever in that situation, I'll happily call that person admiral and acknowledge the decision making priority that goes with their over all responsibility. Until such time, the highest ranking officer will be captain.

The lack of a marriage license allows me to do so.
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Old 23-05-2010, 17:20   #56
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Admiral that defines the purpose of the voyage, which may include specific ports and so on. The Captain is then responsible for the safe handling of his ship, crew and just about everything to keep the admiral happy.
Admiral seems an excellent term, denoting respect for the Admiral and her views balanced against the feasibility of her plans.
I think this is the part that many of us object to. There can't seriously be a lot of men out there who think their wife/girlfriend/whatever should announce "Fiji Please" and then lay out to get some sun and wait for a palm tree to appear on the horizon. (While the Captain, of course, makes all the meaningful and real-world decisions to get there.) Of course we want respect, but all those other aspects of cruising have to be in there too -- otherwise, we're basically acceding to the age-old belief that women don't really have any place on board. Or at least, that's what the feminist in me is saying.
And the "keep the admiral happy" thing is the worst. No one else can make you happy. You either decide to be happy with the situation as it is, or do something productive to change it. 4 year olds expect other people to make them happy, and throw a tantrum to make everyone else miserable when it doesn't happen; grown women know better. And that's the psychologist in me, who is usually more reliable than the feminist.

But then, if a guy use it humorously, not in a derogatory way, and if their partner likes it, good for her/them.
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Old 24-05-2010, 02:15   #57
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With respect to Nautical62: There has to be one captain, in terms of ship handling that is solely the skippers responsibility. And most wives would want to be part of discussions as to when where and how much. The Admiral's assistance in the ship is welcome and part of the life (Navy style is not so flexible, the Admiral would be effectively be a passenger).
And Mariness: Calling the wife 'The Admiral' is accepting her role in 'our' lives. She has the ultimate deterrent to our wilder ideas. A solo cruise is not so satisfying as a partnership. Nor is life ashore afterwards. She is therefore given the honoarary title of 'The Admiral' in acknowledgement that we are boating/cruising only with the permission of the Admiral. And the more permission we have then the more we will enjoy our boating.
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Old 24-05-2010, 02:36   #58
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We don't have an admiral on my boat. Girlfriend and I go sailing and that's it. With an evil plan to get her to know more about sailing and gain experience in boat handling, I, on the odd day declere her as captain for the day. She is in charge and tells me what to do and sails to wherever (I do keep an eye on her decisions) and it works, she is learning boat handling more than she would just watching.
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Old 24-05-2010, 03:08   #59
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My wife and I have been married for 43 years and although I spent most of my career as a Marine Corps Officer, she was always the General. When I was building experimental airplanes, I always refered to her as the "finance Committee". In many ways, I believe it to be a sign of respect that we give to the level headedness of our wives. After retiring from the Corps, I managed large airports and later owned a Chevron Aviation Fuel Service. I'm no stranger to decision making, but when it comes to life experience and common sense, I defer to my wifes judgement. Now that I'm building another sailboat, she is definately the admiral.
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Old 24-05-2010, 03:23   #60
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(Warning: Generalisation alert! )

One thing that I think has not been considered is a difference in attitude between the sexes. Men tend to come up with nicknames without too much serious thought about the meaning of that nickname. Women, OTOH, seem to take names of any sort more seriously. My (male) friends and I have nicknames for each other that no woman would ever tolerate. It is a bit of fun, winding each other up to see who bites. It also indicates "closeness" as only a really good friend would be tolerated using such names.

The difference in approach between the sexes to such nicknames needs to be considered. It may explain why men dole out such labels and why women often get offended by them.

Vive la difference?
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