Admiral?

[angelfish2]

I'm a gal and I find the term offensive. I think it is patronizing because sailing seems to be a man's world and the "little woman" is tolerated. But on the other hand, if a couple is comfortable with the term, so be it. My hubby calls me by name and not some "title". Our sailing is done with teamwork. One person might be more knowledgeable in some things and the other person is more knowledgeable in other things. The real value is in always learning something new, not whether it is a pink or blue task.

[David_Old_Jersey]

Pink used to be a boys colour.

The History Of Pink For Girls, Blue For Boys

We want it back!

[cruiserbill]

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

Pink used to be a boys colour.

The History Of Pink For Girls, Blue For Boys

We want it back!

LOL

[angelfish2]

Haha! Pretty funny, David. But you know of what I speak.

[FrankZ]

For us Kathleen doesn't want to be in charge. She doesn't want to be the first mate... she wanted to be the galley wench. Since there is just the two of us the first mate is the galley wench.

When it comes to the boat I know more about it and I do most of the work. She is happy with that. If she wants something done she asks about it, if is doable and makes sense I work on it.

She gets fussy when I start planning meals, she sees that as her boat job.

[sailorboy1]

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

Pink used to be a boys colour.

The History Of Pink For Girls, Blue For Boys

We want it back!

Consider it done (for you)!

I expect to see a new photo of you soon in your new outfit.

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by angelfish2

Haha! Pretty funny, David. But you know of what I speak.

For sure

As you say, it's all about teamwork (afloat and ashore) - and you mix and match according to abilities / enjoyment / need. IMO no right or wrong (the motto of my life ) just what works for both (and fug everyone else ).

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Don L

Consider it done (for you)!

I expect to see a new photo of you soon in your new outfit.

Back in the mid 80's I used to wear a pink leather tie - to work .

Have never been afraid to wear pink , have a couple of T-shirts in that colour around somewhere. .........I wear it because am secure in my sexuality. But clearly that a YMMV kinda thing .

[jgbrown]

Originally Posted by tamicatana

She Who Must Be Obeyed

He Who Must Obey

That seems a bit derogatory to me? Albeit pretty much identical to the captain and admiral thing, only with a lot of insult added? I usually just go with please, or a person's name myself...

Admiral is the person who gives directions on what to do and where.
Captain carries those orders out.
Both seem more respectful to me...


About the wages... it depends on your age group, and field of work. Older generations seemed to have a lot more confusion with these concepts.

I don't know anybody in my age range, and have never encountered anybody in any of my lines of work of any age who made less because they were female. And I usually make a habit of asking. I wouldn't continue working at a place that did discriminate based on gender, or orientation for that matter...

I do love to work where discrimination based on competence happens. Which is why I love my job now

[Hudson Force]

Originally Posted by SaucySailoress

I disagree [edit: I don't disagree, cos that's your way of doing things, and there's nothing to dispute!!!], Bash. At the end of the day, in a 'situation', things have to get done in a pinch, and perhaps not all couples agree on everything immediately, and perhaps there's not time to 'discuss' it thoroughly. In those situations, I am perfectly happy to let his decision stand, since he is the Captain (although we register my name as Captain on the Manifest and other paperwork now, for the simple reason that he leaves to travel for work, and I thn have undisputed legal authority.

Of course, if he gets it wrong, it goes on my 'I told you so' point scoring list.

A couple of years ago Nancie and I would have agreed with the "Bash Plan", but we've had a few "situations", events when"things have to get done in a pinch, and perhaps not all couples agree on everything immediately...." We took some time in discussing the "captain" question in terms of who makes the quick decision. We came to the conclusion that, without time for debate, the quick decision is by default made by who ever is at the helm; therfore, the "captain" on board Aythya is the person at the helm. Of course, if a guest happens to be at the helm then Nancie or I would snatch it away in an emergency.

I'm sure there are exceptions, but when I've heard the "admiral" reference, I've always found it to have a demeaning connotation and it's not a term I use.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

Back in the mid 80's I used to wear a pink leather tie - to work .

Have never been afraid to wear pink , have a couple of T-shirts in that colour around somewhere. .........I wear it because am secure in my sexuality. But clearly that a YMMV kinda thing .

Phew... what a relief... can get my pink leather thong back outa mothballs...
Where's those budgies...

[Capt Phil]

Originally Posted by Mike OReilly

+1

Thanks Bash. Those that argue for a single "captain" always cite possible emergency moments as the reason for hierarchy. Well, we operate without a captain, first mate or admiral, and we have yet to sink, crash (hard), or explode. My spouse and I can each take the lead in moments of need, and I said, it depends on who is in the best position to act.

In fact, I would argue that it is less safe for a sailing couple to have this kind of hierarchy. Each member of a short-handed crew should be able, willing and confident to take on all critical roles. A "first mate" who is unable to act with confidence in the "oh ****" moment is an unsafe member of the crew.

I'm generally with Mike on this one... when we first started sailing together, one of the rules we established early on was whoever had the wheel was the 'skipper', a term I got used to from growing up as a kid/cook/deckhand for whoever was driving the boat. You make 'suggestions' to whoever has the wheel, the position can be relinquished if the 'skipper' feels they should due to lack of experience, nervousness or whatever. This accomplished two important things... first, there was always a hierarchy of command, a critical factor during an emergency, second, a great learning experience for whoever was in command both in decision making, giving direction, seeking counsel when not sure of what to do. This didn't mean they relinquished their authority but a simple question... 'hey, Phil, what is that funny noise I hear in the shaft area?', 'what's for lunch?, are sensible and meaningful inquiries. Phil

[Hudson Force]

Each person might also have their expertise which may give them a higher status in decision making. Nancie is very quick to notice odors,....propane, smoke, fuel. On more than one occasion and on other boats as well, she has detected the beginings of an engine room fire and a propane leak. If she says there's a problem with something she smells; then, I'm on the hunt. I think I might be better with detecting engine sound problems, but my imagination can run wild too. I can't keep track of the times when I've put my ear to the engine room vent only to find out that there's a helicopter in the area! Once, in Maine, Nancie insisted that there was something caught on the prop because of a vibration she sensed. I ended up donning my wet suit to check it out,- sure enough, there was a wrap of tough seaweed around the shaft zinc. Not a real problem, but I was amazed that she could sense it's presence. What's my reign in skill? I'm not sure,- maybe reading water depth and bottom type with color in the Bahamas. Regardless, deferrence to decision making must take into account differences in skill.

[ozsailer]

Hello all,
I have to say I am still scratching my head on this thread and trying to work out why people think call the spouse "Admiral" is derogatory. Thinking I must be missing some point here I asked my better half to read the thread and at the end of reading all the posts she just laughed and said "Don't some of these people have a sense of humour"
If you seriously believe that being called Admiral derogatory then don't come to where I work where you will see spouses call each other far far worse . If it was not so serious at times it would be entertaining .
My wife and I are equal partners in life full stop. On the boat she has also been know to call herself the "anchor wench" as she has become so proficient at retrieving or deploying the anchor. I guess us Aussies have a weird sense of humour, an ability to just have a good laugh at ourselves sometimes and just not to take life so seriously..
By the way I still open the car door for my wife, stand up for women in trains or bus's and help women up escalators with strollers, does that mean I don't think women are not capable of doing these chores or that I still believe in the good old fashioned manners of yesterday that seems to be missing in todays society.

[Khagan1227]

Wow, all of this over a title.

My wife occasionally calls me "a$$hole", I think Admiral or Captain would be a bit "highfalutin" on our boat.