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Old 08-04-2014, 11:09   #271
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Re: Admiral?

I have an Admiral, but not a wife. I call her Princess Nagsalot. She doesn't like that, much.

We generally agree that what one is called is much less important than if and when.

Anyone easily offended stands a good chance of being left on the dock.

Single-handing sucks.
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Old 08-04-2014, 11:20   #272
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Re: Admiral?

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Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
Just wondering.... On a Gay boat.... Is it OK to refer to your partner as the "Rear Admiral"?.....
Or on a naughty boat as the "Vice Admiral"?
One would think it wouldn't matter if the boat is gay.
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Old 08-04-2014, 14:00   #273
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Re: Admiral?

We call each other by our names or by a dozen other affectionate monikers we have for each other. Captain and admiral are not among them, but not because of any perceived offense. As far as terms go.... I always judge by what I think is a person's intent. If he were to call me admiral I would not be the least bit offended in any way because I know his intentions toward me and they are never to hurt or belittle me. If something is clearly said in jest, in fun, or affectionately, then why look for a reason to be offended? If you think someone is saying it with the intention of belittling you in some way, then that is the thing to be upset about, not the fact that they chose the term "admiral" to accomplish their goal.

Lance and I are definitely equal partners in all areas of life, on land and on the boat, in the respect that we make important decisions about the what, where, and when together. As far as the how....that depends on who is executing the task and we have pretty clear divisions of labor for a lot of things. We both give equal time to the boat, both when working on it and when operating it, just at different tasks.

Lance is the captain of our boat when underway, no question about it. He has done the offshore miles. I don't have those experiences. I have a lot of years of coastal day sailing. And being the wonderful captain that he is, he has tried hard over the years to minimize my exposure to extreme conditions. (By some estimations I am probably not a even "real" sailor.) I trust his instincts and experience. I make my contribution and have my duties onboard, but definitely in a "crew" capacity. He would never do so, but I have often referred to myself as the "deck ape." I enjoy doing the deck work, but he has the helm most of the time, and if things go to crap his word is the law. Not because he demands it, on the contrary he treats me with nothing but respect in all circumstances, but because it is the only thing that makes sense. I know how the boat works, know all the parts and the theory, and can execute most any task competently under normal conditions, but in real world "**** hitting the fan" situations he is the one with the experience and I will defer to him without question. We always discuss his decisions, but after the fact, not during.

When the boat is stopped I do the cooking and housekeeping, he takes care of the engine and other mechanical things (thankfully the head is among them). As has been mentioned in other responses on this thread, I often plan the trips, he gets us there.

It's the same when we are renovating boats. We each have a fairly clear division of labor according to the things we each do best. I am the woodworker and seamstress. He takes care of rigging, mechanics, plumbing and electrical. We both do fiberglass work and painting. Maybe it sounds a little girl-boy or pink-blue, but it has worked well for us for a lot of years.

We are equal but not the same. We play off of our individual strengths and the things that we each enjoy. A lot of times we tend to fall into the typical male/female roles in our divisions of duties, but we have never felt the need to assign any titles whatsoever to it. "Honey" will usually do just fine.
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Old 08-04-2014, 15:42   #274
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Re: Admiral?

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One would think it wouldn't matter if the boat is gay.
Your probably right... But I think the term originated in the royal navy... So still confused! !!!
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Old 08-04-2014, 15:55   #275
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Re: Admiral?

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Originally Posted by oldragbaggers View Post
We call each other by our names or by a dozen other affectionate monikers we have for each other. Captain and admiral are not among them, but not because of any perceived offense. As far as terms go.... I always judge by what I think is a person's intent. If he were to call me admiral I would not be the least bit offended in any way because I know his intentions toward me and they are never to hurt or belittle me. If something is clearly said in jest, in fun, or affectionately, then why look for a reason to be offended? If you think someone is saying it with the intention of belittling you in some way, then that is the thing to be upset about, not the fact that they chose the term "admiral" to accomplish their goal.

Lance and I are definitely equal partners in all areas of life, on land and on the boat, in the respect that we make important decisions about the what, where, and when together. As far as the how....that depends on who is executing the task and we have pretty clear divisions of labor for a lot of things. We both give equal time to the boat, both when working on it and when operating it, just at different tasks.

Lance is the captain of our boat when underway, no question about it. He has done the offshore miles.

We are equal but not the same. We play off of our individual strengths and the things that we each enjoy. A lot of times we tend to fall into the typical male/female roles in our divisions of duties, but we have never felt the need to assign any titles whatsoever to it. "Honey" will usually do just fine.
I think your post is the best description of a functional and loving relationship I have ever read.

It is never about ego but mutual respect and practical strengths.

Honey is the term we both use to...!
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Old 08-04-2014, 20:17   #276
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Re: Admiral?

We use honey as well ... The only one called captain on our boat is our cat, his full name is Captain Sunny. When we adopted him we were looking for the right name and living in Carribean we are surrounded by "captains" that have less sea time than our cat ;-)
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Old 08-04-2014, 20:31   #277
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Re: Admiral?

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We use honey as well ... The only one called captain on our boat is our cat, his full name is Captain Sunny. When we adopted him we were looking for the right name and living in Carribean we are surrounded by "captains" that have less sea time than our cat ;-)
Going by that criteria, the cat should be an admiral by now!

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Old 14-04-2014, 13:55   #278
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Re: Admiral?

The Bottom Line is....IF the Admiral isnt happy....No one is happy!
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Old 14-04-2014, 14:23   #279
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Re: Admiral?

Funny, on the boat I would rarely use the term admiral, just as she never calls me captain. But you wouldn't understand our nicknames, so to avoid confusion we just use those terms online. Besides, on aboat it is all about context.
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Old 14-04-2014, 14:29   #280
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Re: Admiral?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
Just wondering.... On a Gay boat.... Is it OK to refer to your partner as the "Rear Admiral"?.....
Or on a naughty boat as the "Vice Admiral"?
I think they call them "queens" in the merchant navy
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Old 16-04-2014, 06:08   #281
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Re: Admiral?

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?... I like to tell people that I chose my man because he waited until he moved in to try to fix my wine cupboard, rather than doing it the first time he saw it. (For the record, that cupboard has been got at by several friends, two dates and my father, as well as my husband, and it is *still* crooked.)

A true story... I first met HWMO in Kuwait where alcohol is illegal, and it so happened he was off to a UN party where alcohol was abundantly available. He was taking another girl, who he said was looking for a man. So I said, "I need a man, can I come too?" (I didn't really need a man, I wanted a drink, of course). So he asked why did I need a man. "Sex and shelves", I said. He was hooked.

He sent his carpenter to fix the shelves, but he collected personally on the other.
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Old 16-04-2014, 07:11   #282
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Re: Admiral?

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Originally Posted by SaucySailoress View Post
A true story... I first met HWMO in Kuwait where alcohol is illegal, and it so happened he was off to a UN party where alcohol was abundantly available. He was taking another girl, who he said was looking for a man. So I said, "I need a man, can I come too?" (I didn't really need a man, I wanted a drink, of course). So he asked why did I need a man. "Sex and shelves", I said. He was hooked.

He sent his carpenter to fix the shelves, but he collected personally on the other.
trading sexual favors for home improvements thats gotta be a first for the forum
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Old 16-04-2014, 07:19   #283
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Re: Admiral?

Lol! I just read this to HWMO, AND HE POINTED OUT HE BUILT ANOTHER SHELF TODAY... So fun in store for tonight...
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Old 16-04-2014, 07:27   #284
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Re: Admiral?

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Lol! I just read this to HWMO, AND HE POINTED OUT HE BUILT ANOTHER SHELF TODAY... So fun in store for tonight...
as long as he doesn't start calling you "queenie"...............
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Old 16-04-2014, 20:21   #285
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Re: Admiral?

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Lol! I just read this to HWMO, AND HE POINTED OUT HE BUILT ANOTHER SHELF TODAY... So fun in store for tonight...



Man, if all he needs to do is build a shelf, my wife is in serious debt after this latest refit.....
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