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Old 16-07-2013, 13:36   #256
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Re: Admiral?

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Originally Posted by goboatingnow View Post
Hmmm, most women would prefer a trained dog , ( who also looked like George clooney )


I don't use the term , admiral in direct conversation with my wife . But I really don't see the offence, I see it as a term of endearment ( like " pet" or " sweetie" ) some women don't like such terms but many have no issue.


Dave
Count me as the seventh woman (of nine, so far) on this thread who finds the term offensive, patronizing or otherwise negative. With all respect, YOU don't have to see the offense for it to be valid.
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Old 16-07-2013, 14:57   #257
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Re: Admiral?

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Count me as the seventh woman (of nine, so far) on this thread who finds the term offensive, patronizing or otherwise negative. With all respect, YOU don't have to see the offense for it to be valid.
Dear 7 of 9 ,

I suspect that GBN much like the rest of the fellas on CF (me included) who won't use the term Admiral (or any other term) to a woman if they object (in real life or internet) - but that when it comes to "YOU" defining how others relate to their own Partners / SO's / Wives / Girlfriends / Admirals / etc / etc then the response is likely very different - possibly including the term Foxtrot Oscar .

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Old 16-07-2013, 15:03   #258
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Re: Admiral?

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Originally Posted by Rubyvee View Post
Count me as the seventh woman (of nine, so far) on this thread who finds the term offensive, patronizing or otherwise negative. With all respect, YOU don't have to see the offense for it to be valid.
Well, there it is.
Succinct.
And a reality check.
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Old 16-07-2013, 19:52   #259
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pirate Re: Admiral?

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OK here is my take.....
...

Then again, we are not literal people. We actually have affectionate lighthearted things like the Admiral, which BTW, my GF thinks is both cute and funny. On the other hand neither one of us would refer to me as captain except when maybe I ask for a drink and she responds with a salute and a "Yes sir". Then we both laugh. ...

O'boy. That's both cute and funny. I swear I don't mean that in a bad way.
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Old 16-07-2013, 20:02   #260
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Re: Admiral?

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Originally Posted by Rubyvee View Post
Count me as the seventh woman (of nine, so far) on this thread who finds the term offensive, patronizing or otherwise negative. With all respect, YOU don't have to see the offense for it to be valid.
You're number eight, I think.
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Old 21-08-2013, 11:37   #261
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Re: Admiral?

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Sure, but BOTH people have to keep their senses of humor and not come up with snide nicknames for the other that mask the view that that other person is bossy or must be placated or something.

And the real planners in the Army are the sargeant majors. I forget what the equivalent rank is in the Navy but it's not "admiral."

Yes, one person has to make the calls, but if you're both good sailors, there won't be much second-guessing.

If a term is offensive, the person using it has just sucked the humor out of the room.
As an honorably discharged Petty Officer I can state that the Navy equivelant of someone who get's the real work done (at least top dog) is the Master Chief of the Boat.
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Old 15-09-2013, 19:30   #262
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I use it with my wife in the sense that although the captain is in charge of the vessel at sea, the admiral tells the captain when he can go to sea.
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Old 05-04-2014, 23:33   #263
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Re: Admiral?

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My take is that in the "old" days, the wife/partner/SO was referred to as the First Mate. Now that we are more enlightened, we understand that that term was really demeaning in that it put the spouse in an inferior position.

The reality on our boat and I suspect most is that the husband is the more experienced of the couple. Beth is a capable watch-stander, but she is not inclined to delve into the bowels of the electronics manuals or engine for that matter. My wife defers to me for all things involving navigation, boat handling and maintenance. That doesn't mean that I am above her in any way. It is a recognition that we each have our strengths and hers is not navigation. She is otherwise an equal partner in all significant decisions. I refer to my wife as admiral and she takes no offense from it. It is light-hearted and not demeaning in any way.

I have a US Marine friend who likes to say that even the USS Enterprise (aircraft carrier, not starship) has an admiral below telling the captain what to do. As does S/V Painkiller.

Scott
Just diving into the thread, but I had to reply to agree 100%. My husband is the Captain; he sails the boat more than me. We're both pretty hands on as far as working on the boat. He and I both call me The Admiral, and I find it funny. I like it. But the reality is we work together on the boat equally.
Back to reading...
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Old 05-04-2014, 23:46   #264
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Re: Admiral?

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For us Kathleen doesn't want to be in charge. She doesn't want to be the first mate... she wanted to be the galley wench. Since there is just the two of us the first mate is the galley wench.

When it comes to the boat I know more about it and I do most of the work. She is happy with that. If she wants something done she asks about it, if is doable and makes sense I work on it.

She gets fussy when I start planning meals, she sees that as her boat job.
We've kind of done that too. Dennis takes care of the outside and mechanicals, I work on the cabin and take care of the meals. Yeah, they are kind of old fashioned gender roles, but it's what works. But if he gets stuck on something engine related I'm the researcher. Our 'Captain' and 'Admiral' titles are all in good fun.
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Old 06-04-2014, 01:26   #265
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Re: Admiral?

Wow! All this up in arms stuff and bra burning etc. and no one mentioned once that there's only ever been ONE female Admiral in the US, appointed AFTER all this crazy arguing? You guys are just plain strange.

Taking something prestigious, a highly honored rank earned only after an exceptional lifelong career of honor and excellence and taking offense to it, when historically the term "wife" has in the past, and in some cases still to this day, essentially mean all the stuff you're complaining Admiral to mean.

Frankly the only people who should be offended are the admirals..... Just another reminder how....unfathomable ... people are....

Go sailing or something, life's too damn short and the dictionary is too damn long

Unsubscribing and signing out now....

Sent from my SGPT12 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app
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Old 08-04-2014, 07:35   #266
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Re: Admiral?

I stopped to call Beata Admiral here on CF, as I found some here find this offending.
But we use this still between us and our friends for at least two reasons:
  1. Beata like to be an Admiral
  2. It describes our on-board relation quite accurately
Best regards to all


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Old 08-04-2014, 07:59   #267
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Re: Admiral?

Our Navy has only two sailors. Whomever is at the helm is the Skipper and the other sailor is a combination of First Mate, Deckhand, Navigator, or whatever job is required. Rank on our sailboat is determined by specific activity, not by prior decree. The Skipper is god on our boat and his/her orders are to be followed immediately and fully. I don't think it can work any other way.

On matters not relating to actually sailing the boat, we discuss and come to a mutual decision; in the rare circumstances when we disagree, I give my wife an extra vote. I have found that women generally do much more than their fair share, are usually somewhat less strong physically, but certainly not intellectually, and deserve extra consideration. I'm a hold the chair, open the door, rise when they enter, old school sort of chap; what seems right to me may not be right for others; perhaps it's just the English schoolboy grown old in me.

I do sometimes call my wife the Admiral, which I assure you is a term of respect and acknowledgement of her extra vote in our committee of two. The women sailors I know have not expressed dissatisfaction with being called Admiral, but this thread has taught me to use the term only when I've a good idea of the feelings of those who might see it differently from me.

Fair winds,
Leo
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Old 08-04-2014, 09:39   #268
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Re: Admiral?

Just wondering.... On a Gay boat.... Is it OK to refer to your partner as the "Rear Admiral"?.....
Or on a naughty boat as the "Vice Admiral"?
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Old 08-04-2014, 10:23   #269
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Re: Admiral?

What the men who are waiting for rejection of the term seem to forget is that often we -as a society, but the is also a strong gender bias- don't tend to object to things like that, especially with borderline connotations.


For many couples, it works. However, for those of us who are partners in the all things boating, we have been in too many situations with too many men who just assume. I like to tell people that I chose my man because he waited until he moved in to try to fix my wine cupboard, rather than doing it the first time he saw it. (For the record, that cupboard has been got at by several friends, two dates and my father, as well as my husband, and it is *still* crooked.)
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Old 08-04-2014, 11:05   #270
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Re: Admiral?

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Just wondering.... On a Gay boat.... Is it OK to refer to your partner as the "Rear Admiral"?.....
Or on a naughty boat as the "Vice Admiral"?

Start a new thread with poll
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