Admiral?

[hoppy]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

I married three professional women. They didn't have time for that sissy stuff.

LOL

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by deepblueln

There is a name for it. It's called bullying. Ask a 12-year-old, they know exactly how it works.

BTW - if you make a joke and I don't laugh, keep in mind there are TWO possibilities. Yes, maybe I have no sense of humor. But it's equally possible that you just actually aren't all that funny.

Of course, could be that some are dumping / playing out own life issues (with other folks they are / were unable to resolve) onto others.

IMO if someone is not able to resolve the name(s) to be called with a partner then whining that other people happily doing what don't work for "you" likely ain't gonna resolve own problems. If yer can't get control over own life a common alternative is to control others, or at least try .

Having said that, I do think Admiral is kinda silly - even if usefully descriptive. But not silly enough to throw any toys out of a pram.........

[Rakuflames]

Originally Posted by deepblueln

There is a name for it. It's called bullying. Ask a 12-year-old, they know exactly how it works.

BTW - if you make a joke and I don't laugh, keep in mind there are TWO possibilities. Yes, maybe I have no sense of humor. But it's equally possible that you just actually aren't all that funny.

BRILLIANT!!!!

Nothing more annoying than a wanna-be Jerry Seinfeld who is a legend in his own mind (or her), and yes, when you put someone down and think it's funny, that IS bullying.

[denverd0n]

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

If yer can't get control over own life a common alternative is to control others, or at least try .

Boy, ain't THAT the truth!

[tamicatana]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

OK, I am burning my second bra on CF since joining (in fact, second one ever). I will run out of bras rapidly at this rate, but on the up side it may clear some space on board for more shoes .

Nine females have responded on this thread.
Only two stated that they are OK with the term "admiral"
One was unclear.

Responses from 6 (the rest) were:
"Plain patronising"
"Can't stand it. Always looks demeaning"
"It's patronizing and offensive"
"I find the term offensive"
"I don't appreciate the term"
"It is patronising"

Guys, lots of women really don't like this term and regardless of what you call your partner in private, continually referring to them as "admiral" on the forum IS offensive to many members here.

Would anyone like to voice an opinion on how they feel about the use of the term "my dear"?

Seaworthy Lass for President!

[Krogensailor]

Sweety, butter cup, honey bun's, and what if the 'buns' are the large kind, hmmm. Ball and chain, love of my life, Deary, my dear, my better half, her better half. MY wife. Possession. My old lady. Possession. The battleaxe, The swab y, The best thing that's ever happened to me, the worst thing that's ever happened to me! The list goes on into infinity. I know a couple that call each other nick names that should not be uttered in public. Are they bad, or lesser beings. No. They are who they are and they take each other as they are, warts and all. Could they be, do better. Sure. But if their happy why is it any of your business? This political correctness is poisonuos thing. We all suffer from the falicy of knowing better. All. To try to control your mate is maybe possible. But to try to control others outside of your life, let alone folks on a flickering light box, those that you will never meet, well that's a whole other kettle of fish. Your not going to get others, complete strangers to do it your way. It's beyond infantile if you think you can. There are lovly older couple's out there who use these terms, as in 'the Admiral" in a truly loving and inclusive way. It's part of their boating life. One guy pats his wife on the bottom when she passes by on watch. The other is afraid to touch his wife's bottom. Long as he ain't patting your tush, let it be. Who are you to take 'their' way from them? There are regional mindsets. Regional colloquialisms. Add to all of this is the fundemental difference between the sex's, on a good day. Here a little ditty about the difference between men and women;


Her diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset with me because I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conve4rsation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so that we could talk. He agreed but didn’t say much. I ask him what was wrong; he said”nothing’. I ask him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.. I can’t explain his behavior, I don’t know why he didn’t say ‘I love you too”. When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, watching TV. Finally with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 min later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and that his thoughts where somewhere else. He fell asleep, I cried.Don’t know what to do. I’m almost certain that his thought are with someone else.. My life is a disaster.

His diary: Motorcycle won’t start. I can’t figure out why.


I don't break my wife's ovaries over her need to make sure the kids always have clean underwear on, in case the have to go to the hospital, and she doesn't break my b--ls about sometimes being a meat head. And that's where it's at. And you? Well you don't fit in the picture. . If me and the admiral offend thee, haul up that rope hanging off the front of your and boat go elsewhere.
And moreover, if I have offended you with this, my view, well there is always a name conected to these post's. When you see the name Krogensai.......you'll know to move on.

[Rakuflames]

Originally Posted by Krogensailor

Sweety, butter cup, honey bun's, and what if the 'buns' are the large kind, hmmm. Ball and chain, love of my life, Deary, my dear, my better half, her better half. MY wife. Possession. My old lady. Possession. The battleaxe, The swab y, The best thing that's ever happened to me, the worst thing that's ever happened to me! The list goes on into infinity. I know a couple that call each other nick names that should not be uttered in public. Are they bad, or lesser beings. No. They are who they are and they take each other as they are, warts and all. Could they be, do better. Sure. But if their happy why is it any of your business? This political correctness is poisonuos thing. We all suffer from the falicy of knowing better. All. To try to control your mate is maybe possible. But to try to control others outside of your life, let alone folks on a flickering light box, those that you will never meet, well that's a whole other kettle of fish. Your not going to get others, complete strangers to do it your way. It's beyond infantile if you think you can. There are lovly older couple's out there who use these terms, as in 'the Admiral" in a truly loving and inclusive way. It's part of their boating life. One guy pats his wife on the bottom when she passes by on watch. The other is afraid to touch his wife's bottom. Long as he ain't patting your tush, let it be. Who are you to take 'their' way from them? There are regional mindsets. Regional colloquialisms. Add to all of this is the fundemental difference between the sex's, on a good day. Here a little ditty about the difference between men and women;


Her diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset with me because I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conve4rsation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so that we could talk. He agreed but didn’t say much. I ask him what was wrong; he said”nothing’. I ask him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.. I can’t explain his behavior, I don’t know why he didn’t say ‘I love you too”. When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, watching TV. Finally with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 min later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and that his thoughts where somewhere else. He fell asleep, I cried.Don’t know what to do. I’m almost certain that his thought are with someone else.. My life is a disaster.

His diary: Motorcycle won’t start. I can’t figure out why.


I don't break my wife's ovaries over her need to make sure the kids always have clean underwear on, in case the have to go to the hospital, and she doesn't break my b--ls about sometimes being a meat head. And that's where it's at. And you? Well you don't fit in the picture. . If me and the admiral offend thee, haul up that rope hanging off the front of your and boat go elsewhere.
And moreover, if I have offended you with this, my view, well there is always a name conected to these post's. When you see the name Krogensai.......you'll know to move on.

Your diary was very long for a meathead.

I have no problem with you calling your wife names. That's your business.

I'm only stating MY preference, and my preference is not to be called names by someone who is supposed to care about me.

[Blue Crab]

Originally Posted by tamicatana

Seaworthy Lass for President!

Yeah! except the US Pres has to be born here. Oh wait ...

Originally Posted by Krogensailor

... There are lovely older couples out there who use these terms, as in 'the Admiral" in a truly loving and inclusive way.

Now there are even men in the US Navy who might say the same in a truly loving and (hopefully) exclusive way.

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

I married three professional women. They didn't have time for that sissy stuff.

All three at the same time? I can imagine they didn't have time for sissy stuff niether did you I guess

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

Now there are even men in the US Navy who might say the same in a truly loving and (hopefully) exclusive way.

I got a feeling nothing new in that..........

[deepblueln]

Originally Posted by Rakuflames

Your diary was very long for a meathead.

I have no problem with you calling your wife names. That's your business.

I'm only stating MY preference, and my preference is not to be called names by someone who is supposed to care about me.

My preference is even less restrictive. In private, do what makes you both happy. (If your spouse has a problem with it and they can't express such, or you refuse to adjust for their feelings ... you need a marriage counselor, not an internet forum!)
Just don't call me names IN PUBLIC FORA, TO OTHER PEOPLE. Even names that might be fine when directed at me at home, are not necessarily ok when talking ABOUT me with others. Proper etiquette would indicate you introduce or discuss a person using their name (or a simple descriptor - 'my wife'). That's it -- just keep the private stuff private.

[Andrew B.]

Originally Posted by deepblueln

......just keep the private stuff private.

Does this mean me and my girlfriend have to quit making out in the backseat ?

can't pick my nose, scratch my azz, or call my wife(if she was still alive)
Admiral in public. I guess calling my ex gf 'sweet lips' in public would surely
be a hanging offense..huh...sheese what's next.

To the OP thanks so much, and I truly mean it.
Reading this thread is more entertaining than all that one beep, two beep,
red light, green light stuff.

I don't see much of a consensus though.
Other than more men than women have answered,
and it's more validation, at least for me,
that men are from mars,and women are from......who knows ???
I just want one to share the cooking with !

[Blue Crab]

Originally Posted by carstenb

All three at the same time? I can imagine they didn't have time for sissy stuff niether did you I guess

Only two of them were hookers. Cheaper than dating.

[janice142]

My boat card says Admiral and I find nothing demeaning about the term.

It all came about because of a yard sale my dad went to many decades ago. He found a brass name plate which he installed on the front of his chair saying CAPTAIN. So, naturally mother went shopping and found a similar one that said ADMIRAL. Without a word she installed hers on her chair. It was fun and funny.

Obviously as the daughter, when I bought my own boat the only title that would work is Admiral. In the military the fault always is pegged to the top of the command chain and afloat, that's the Admiral. Any mistakes are mine and fixing them is my responsibility. Thus Admiral sums up the total responsibility that comes with being a soloist.

I like it, and when I see the men referring to their wives as Admiral it never occurred to me that there could be any rudeness involved. It seems respectful, in that they are checking with their mate regarding matters of the boat rather than arbitrarily deciding. And, it is not my business to decide what is proper between spouses.

[JennyWren]

Originally Posted by janice142

In the military the fault always is pegged to the top of the command chain and afloat, that's the Admiral. Any mistakes are mine and fixing them is my responsibility. Thus Admiral sums up the total responsibility that comes with being a soloist.

Do you think it is a little different in your case, though, because you are sailing solo?

Most people commenting here aren't fussed about what couples choose to call each other and I think much of the problem for the women who don't like it (me included) is being called that by others who don't know you on the basis of assumptions about the female's role in relation to the male's. If you are on your own then people can't assume that the presence of a male defines your role. You're "it".

(Unless - as frequently happens to me in guitar shops as the staff don't register I just might be a customer - they assume you must have come in attached to a male who's just not in sight right now. )