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Old 05-07-2013, 05:08   #151
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Re: Admiral?

As with Deckofficer, we refer to the Master as the "Old Man" no matter the age. My Wife and I address each other with endearments, and when the first name is used there is an issue brewing. Above all we treat each other with mutual respect and courtesy. We are of the same mind in emergencies and not a lot of verbal exchange required only to inform the other that a task has been completed, we both know what needs to be done and each of us have our areas of responsibility, there is no committee to decide whom does what. Those of you who think you can have a discussion while the ship goes down, has already lost your ship.
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Old 05-07-2013, 05:34   #152
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Re: Admiral?

Speaking from the Australian perspective, I never heard it till I read it on CF. I checked it with my wife and she liked it so I use it.

It actually seems to apply quite well from our perspective. I get lost in the day to day stuff running the boat and she keeps a broader eye on the rest of our lives, much like I imagine happens in the navy? I thought the Admirals mostly stayed on land and made the big decisions leaving the captains to point the boats in the right direction and avoid all the dry bits?

Also, for those that don't know SWMBO originally comes from H. Rider Haggard's "She", and was often quoted by the character "Rumpole" in "Rumpole of the Bailey" Lovely to see an expression from a novel/serial written in 1886 in common use on the internet. Literature can truly be timeless.

Matt
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Old 05-07-2013, 05:49   #153
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Re: Admiral?

We really adhere to the rule that the one at the helm is the skipper. The other one does what they are told if time is of the essence. Discuss later, do now.

I call my wife by her name, unless I'm using the word "darling". She calls me by my name unless she use the word "darling".

I am listed on the boats papers as the skipper only because I got my Yachtmaster 1st class license a year before she got hers.

She is just as competent to run the boat as I am.

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Old 05-07-2013, 06:18   #154
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Re: Admiral?

SO HOWS THAT BOAT DOING?
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Old 05-07-2013, 07:03   #155
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Re: Admiral?

And how is one to be sure SHE isn't a "Admiral" ? Kind of sexist to believe SHE
couldn't be.
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Old 05-07-2013, 07:03   #156
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Re: Admiral?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Don L View Post
so all you wives/girlfriends/women out there ........................ what do what to be called?

Susan.
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Old 05-07-2013, 07:14   #157
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Re: Admiral?

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I think many are overtly sensitive. Myself a flawed male may I am sure may well have said things without thinking that could be construed as hurtful in ignorance.

Yeah -- being called a name one views as derogatory, repeatedly, by someone you married thinking they would treat you with love and respect, can make a person sensitive. I don't think "ignorance" leads to the OTHER person saying things he or she KNOWS is hurtful. That's just mean, or passive aggressive, or snide, but there's no good name for it.

I hate to be called Susie. I hate it so much that if someone calls me Susie, I ask them nicely to do it. If they persist, as one guy in our club known to be boorish did, then I just ignore them. But if it was my husband, I think that would point to something fairly seriously wrong in the relationship.

My husband had a grown niece who made a joke based on a movie out of his name, in front of people and in a sarcastic way. Not surprisingly, she had a lot of other problems and gossiped about him behind his back so much that no one gave her a bit of credibility. But she could have said she was saying it "out of respect" or "in affection" and there isn't a person on the planet who would have agreed with it. You should have seen all the rolling eyes.

Meanwhile my husband knew she was a rude twit and let it roll off his back, and I followed his lead because it was his life and his family.

That's how it is when you call someone a name you know to be demeaning. Doesn't matter if you didn't "mean" it that way. Especially in a close relationship, it's a mean and hurtful thing to do.
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Old 05-07-2013, 09:47   #158
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Minor correction, in the Merchant Marine the captain is referred to as "the old man", at least on all the ships I served on.
My kids call me that regardless of if aboard the boat or not.

If pet names are offensive for you don't use them. After 25 years of marriage we are comfortable enough with each other to have fun in anything we do. Some folks take this topic fairly seriously, some do not. We fall in the latter.
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:01   #159
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Re: Admiral?

Maybe my wife and I have an unusual relationship. I don't know. You see, we actually communicate. We also respect each other. So if I called her something--anything--that she didn't like, she would tell me. And then I would not do it again.

Seems pretty simple to me. But then, like I said, maybe we're unusual.
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Old 05-07-2013, 19:29   #160
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Re: Admiral?

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Originally Posted by denverd0n View Post
Maybe my wife and I have an unusual relationship. I don't know. You see, we actually communicate. We also respect each other. So if I called her something--anything--that she didn't like, she would tell me. And then I would not do it again.

Seems pretty simple to me. But then, like I said, maybe we're unusual.

Exactly. I don't get trying to explain it away. It's just a word, and there are so many other words that can be used. It's not a crisis to skip that one word.
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Old 05-07-2013, 19:48   #161
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Re: Admiral?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakuflames View Post
Yeah -- being called a name one views as derogatory, repeatedly, by someone you married thinking they would treat you with love and respect, can make a person sensitive. I don't think "ignorance" leads to the OTHER person saying things he or she KNOWS is hurtful. That's just mean, or passive aggressive, or snide, but there's no good name for it.
There is a name for it. It's called bullying. Ask a 12-year-old, they know exactly how it works.

BTW - if you make a joke and I don't laugh, keep in mind there are TWO possibilities. Yes, maybe I have no sense of humor. But it's equally possible that you just actually aren't all that funny.
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Old 05-07-2013, 20:39   #162
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Re: Admiral?

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Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass View Post
Plain patronising.
Haven't come across a woman yet who likes the term.
No idea why men here persist in using it .
Been away for a while and have not read the 160 posts but tongue firmly planted in cheek:

I prefer the term ‘Wench’ as it is more endearing and allows us both to mutually explore all the nauti-bits
,,
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Old 05-07-2013, 22:07   #163
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Re: Admiral?

<snicker!> Couldn't even bear to quote it.
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Old 05-07-2013, 22:27   #164
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pirate Re: Admiral?

I've always thought "Admiral" was kinda pathetic. Like a gal wearing a "First mate" T shirt. Come on. June Cleaver passed on 50 years ago.

I hang out with women who know what they're about. I married three professional women. They didn't have time for that sissy stuff.
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Old 05-07-2013, 22:40   #165
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Re: Admiral?

Nancie has a favorite T-shirt that says, "Women who behave rarely make history."
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