A Woman's Needs

[oldragbaggers]

I've got a news flash for you who think this is specific to women.....the same holds true for men. I work with plenty of men who, when I talk about sailing or living on a boat, have told me flat out that there is no way they would live a life isolated from their (choose from list....)

...golf course
...flat screen
...sports car
...favorite restaurant
...remote control collection

and more.

I have talked with men in the marinas where we have had boats that have told me that, while they love their weekends or short vacation cruises, have no desire to give up their shore side lives to pursue boat living full time. There are just as many men that are not at all attracted to a life of austerity, no matter how much adventure is involved, and would much rather remain chained to their prestigious job, garage full of power tools, Sunday football parties, and middle class neighborhood.

For both men and for women, finding a suitable partner to share your chosen lifestyle has to do with a lot of factors, not the least of which is whether or not there is enough about your personality in general that would make another person want to share ANY kind of lifestyle with you, cruising or otherwise. Once you clear that hurdle, what kind of TP to buy and where to store the curling iron will be easy.

(And if you don't want to deal with where to store all that girly stuff, then find yourself a nice sporty, wholesome looking girl with no makeup and worn boat shoes, with a willing attitude and a love of the sea, instead of trying to find a Jennifer Aniston type and then convert her.)

[ArtM]

Originally Posted by oldragbaggers

I've got a news flash for you who think this is specific to women.....the same holds true for men. I work with plenty of men who, when I talk about sailing or living on a boat, have told me flat out that there is no way they would live a life isolated from their (choose from list....)

...golf course
...flat screen
...sports car
...favorite restaurant
...remote control collection

prestigious job, garage full of power tools, Sunday football parties, and middle class neighborhood.

Great post! It's funny, I would never have put this list together on my own. Of this list --- none of them apply to me. I do like a flat screen TV, but then it's not hard to get a flat screen on a boat, and I don't use it to watch football. My TV watching can be easily contained to a laptop or tablet, in fact.

I always knew I was different from "most" men in that I'm not interested in sports, but I didn't realize HOW different until just now!

[Ex-Calif]

Originally Posted by ArtM

An ATM would be a good addition.

If she's a patient woman with a good sense of adventure and humor, then just get on board and go! But for the first few days/weeks/months, stay close to friendly ports - you'll be learning what is and is not needed.

Here are a few tips of my own, however:
Feminine products - always keep a small supply hidden from her. This will save you a midnight dinghy trip. This includes Midol and tampons at a minimum, but could incude nail polish remover, conditioner, deodorant, perfume, skin lotions, razors, a grooming kit, and whatever other doodads you observe her using when she leaves the bathroom door open a crack.

Unless there is a security issue, bad planning on her part requires her to take the dinghy ride.

She agrees. At worst we would go together.

[ArtM]

Originally Posted by Ex-Calif

Unless there is a security issue, bad planning on her part requires her to take the dinghy ride.

She agrees. At worst we would go together.

My friend... it is not midnight, and she is not out of Midol and Tampons.

Please post back with your results.

[Cheechako]

Originally Posted by High Heels

While I am supposed to be reading my HAM Radio book I was catching up on this thread that I had not seen since before we left last winter for the Bahamas...Definitely entertaining...much more than the Ham license manual...

Where has the 'Women Afloat' forum link gone on the main page?

I never realized I was such anomaly in regards to the Women's Race...I love to sail a mono hull, I really like living aboard, I use less toilet paper always than a rabbit size puff, I have been known to paint my finger nails, and prefer my toe nails painted...I do like practicing good personal hygiene but not at the detriment of my life experience.

I do NOT like High Heels...

I think generalizations are so dangerous in so many aspects of our lives - assumptions run a close second.

I do find all of this discussion so interesting, because as I have told my husband more than once, when a perfectly put together woman walks by, with her hair, makeup, size 0 jeans on, high heels, in a highly 'maintained' state of being I sometimes do feel like she and I must be a different species.

I don't make assumptions about who she is, but it is evident where she puts her energy, money, and time...

and what is funny is some men's reactions to her, while they say they may prize a low maintenance, adventurous type, their head may still turn and whip lash may ensue from following the perfectly maintained woman across the room...suddenly the gallons of water and product that all of that requires is no longer a consideration...

It is comforting to me that some things never change...even if it shouldn't be...

[carstenb]

I'm not sure what all the fuss i about. All of these issues can be resolved by buying a big enough boat. Can't live without the golf course? Do as I did.



Steve Jobs new (old) yacht is for sale and I'm sure there is plenty of room for anything her heart desires, including enough battery capacity for her hair dryer.

Course, might be tough getting it into some of the smaller coves for anchoring

[carstenb]

All kidding aside, Sometimes you do want to get all gussied up and go to town. I have a both a tux and a set of tails (not on the boat though). Occasionally we get dressed to the nines and hit town. See how the other half lives. Always a great time.

[Seaworthy Lass]

This is an old thread, but another I have enjoyed reading through, so thanks to Westsail for resurrecting it. I must have missed it while I was lurking still. Funny that the majority of replies seem to be from males. They make women sound like they are some strange species from a different planet LOL!

Greg, the original OP, asked about what women "need", although he seemed instead to be searching for what women "want" and what women "enjoy having" when it comes to sailing.

"Needs?" Food, water, shelter.

"Wants?" Answers here will vary for women as much as they do for men, so ask the woman you are sailing with that question rather than second guessing beforehand.
For me first and foremost its being with the one I love regardless of where we are or what we are doing, on land or on the water. This is personally my major priority. Good health is probably next. Then its living on a safe, dry boat so I can indulge in the freedom of sailing, the adventures, even the occasional adrenaline rushes (although I only enjoy most of these retrospectively LOL). Add to that having things that challenge me and entertain me and make me laugh. Contact of some kind with friends and family are one of my "wants" too. Oh, a daily "shower" even when it is only using a couple of litres of water is very high up on my priority list.

"Enjoy having?" Well, that is a different matter altogether. This is such a personal thing. Again I can only comment on what I enjoy, and that is anything that stimulates any of my five senses in a nice way (I consider all of these "luxuries" even when free).
So in no particular order my list would include: good music, French perfume, the opportunity to watch every sunrise and sunset, birdsong, chocolate, the smell of fresh bread and cinnamon and coffee, gutsy red wine, champagne, single malt Scotch, 1000 count cotton sheets, the feeling of silk, using fine crystal and china, long hot baths, swimming sans bikini, sun on my skin, falling asleep to gentle rocking and the lapping of waves on the hull ....... Could go on for pages! I can luckily easily indulge in most of these things while sailing (even had several evenings in a natural private "hot tub" under the stars this past week).

None of my desires even vaguely include hair dryers or curling irons or high heels, or anything but the minimal amount of closet space (and I don't think that makes me any less "feminine"). Although a fridge in summer is nice (and a washing machine for those big heavy sheets would be lovely), things like freezer/hot water/heater in winter/air conditioner/indoor shower are nowhere on my essential list. Maybe why sailing suits me

My list is obviously going to be very different to any other person's, male or female.

Incorporating some of the things I personally "enjoy having" into my everyday sailing life has only gone to sweetening things though. I consider none of them essential for contentment or happiness.

[carstenb]

Seaworthy

What we (men or women) "need" is just what you said. Food/shelter/Security otherwise know as Maslows pyramid. Everything else is "nice to have". Although I would tend to include red wine as a "need to have".

Nevertheless, I have known a number of women who are quite capable of doing without virtually everything for almost unlimited amounts of time (men also). I have also known a number of women who thought "roughing it" was not having 100 pairs of shoes to choose between (good for them they were born in the western world). I've also known men who "couldn't live" without big cars, golf courses etc.

It's individual and depends on your priorities.

Give me (and my admiral) a boat, bottle of wine and a sunrise(set) and we're happy as a bug in a rug

[Seaworthy Lass]

Originally Posted by carstenb

I have known a number of women who are quite capable of doing without virtually everything for almost unlimited amounts of time (men also). I have also known a number of women who thought "roughing it" was not having 100 pairs of shoes to choose between (good for them they were born in the western world).
......

My point exactly. You cant speculate on what any individual "wants" or "needs". It is a personal thing, whether you are from Mars or Venus.

Originally Posted by carstenb

......
Give me (and my admiral) a boat, bottle of wine and a sunrise(set) and we're happy as a bug in a rug

Never tried wine at sunrise

[carstenb]

You just haven't stayed up and partied long enough :-)

Besides, here in Denmark, during the summer the sun comes up at 2:30/3:00 a.m.

[ArtM]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

"Needs?" Food, water, shelter.

"Wants?" Answers here will vary for women as much as they do for men, so ask the woman you are sailing with that question rather than second guessing beforehand.

Wants and needs are not really that clear cut for humans - nor for animals, for that matter. Our needs are much more expansive, and they include having reasonable access to our "wants" - though "wants" can change with experience and opportunity.

There are many men and women who "want" to continue being men and women - not caged animals. For many women - including the kind of woman I have with me - that means maintaining a "civilized" lifestyle.

[micah719]

Civilized? What's that?

[David_Old_Jersey]

Ok, the lesson I have learnt from this thread is to make sure the next Mrs DOJ is not too hairy .

and that she needs to know how to use a pair of oars . (I think it's called "empowering" her - at least at midnight and raining it would be called that ).


Me on the other hand will probably need to exchange the Tin Foil hat for a real Tin Hat........

[zeehag]

please define civilization and civilized.
are these terms defined by possessions and holdings or is it defined by interactive treatment of others within the same locale???
to be civil-ized--does that mean needing STUFF or is the idea more philosophical and less technical orientation???
define, please...
i am finding difficulty with the general acceptance of the word meaning possessions as opposed to interactions and dealings on a "civil" or accepted nature.