In the EU zombies are now seen as potential distressed ethnic groups, following a successful appeal by a zombie support group to the European Court of Zombie rights ( known as the EcB) . Public policy is now to integrate zombies into mainstream life, this however is proving very costly, with significant budget
impacts on social Heath systems ( they are in very bad shape medically).The policy to integrate them into mainstream schools has also proven problematic ( preventing them eating children
etc) but efforts are on going and a EU wide funded school
is getting under way.
A EU Commission spokesman . Klaus von der Splitsenpants stated recently "the Commissions policy is to reverse the age old perception of this group and to integrate them fully into the social structure of the EU" the spokesman pointed out that in excess of 50 billion euros has been set aside for various zombie institutions across the Union. The term Zombie is regarded as pejorative, to be replaced with people afflicted by Diminished Energy Activation Disorder. (DEAD)
Predictably, there have been concerns expressed in Germany
about such moves, with several members of the Bundestag commenting that disproportionate support is going to "med zombies" Seemingly more have congregated in warmer southern EU countries . In fact recently, in the newspaper "Bild" the headlines was ( translated) "German Zombies first, Med Zombies are a hopeless cause" The illegal immigration of north African Zombies was pointed out by several other members of the parliament , " the med countries are lazy , and they need to get these foreigners out of the EU" , and our german zombies are far more efficient at eating people")
The European council for zombie liberties, (EUROZOM) , fully EU funded, has begun an awareness campaign, designed to educate ordinary people to be sensitive to zombies, and to raise awareness of their cultural identity. EU directive 1785/45376654-345433/R-334331bis. has been enacted providing for various increased penalties for those engaged in violence against these afflicted with DEAD. The use of any firearms of course carries severe penalties with long custodial punishments being handed down to perpetrators. the EU wide arrest warrant has been extended by agreement to provide for arbitrary extradition of any person engaged in violence against DEAD people.
Several labour run councils in the UK have gone much further in asserting zombie rights, Lambeth borough council recently passed a law allowing zombies to feed on a proportion of human flesh since they have accepted that eating living flesh is a zombie cultural right. They have banned the term zombie from all their publications as it's a racist term . a spokeswomen stated " just because they're different and eat people doesn't mean they are not proper citizens entitled to express their culture , the sickly parlour of their skin or that fact that they are DEAD, doesn't mean they should be treated any differently then other groups"
In a related move Reuter news agency s is claiming it has received reports Turkey
intends to restrict visas for Zombies to 15 minutes( seemingly the time to walk up the jetway) the EU has lodged a formal complaint.
Unrelated, today Italy
announced a tax on "prepers" , every food
item not consumed within one week will be subject to tax of 220% of its value. No word as to enforcement. The government
has admitted it has no idea where these food
stores are, but said that hard times needed tough decisions.