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Old 28-07-2006, 08:56   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Lagos
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Want to Meet Naval Personnels

My age is 27 and currently serve in the Nigerian Navy. I would like to meet Naval personnels from around the world whom I can share ideas with.
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Old 28-07-2006, 10:48   #2
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Location: Deep Cove - North Vancouver, BC
Boat: Catalina 27 - Leaky Cauldron
Posts: 350
Try a google search on Naval and military fourms; here is an American Naval forum I found.

http://www.topix.net/forum/us/navy

Here is some Canadian Naval humour I found, searching for forums for you (notice I didn’t say great Canadian Naval humour):

Things I've learnt from the Canadian navy.
1. The correct answer to all questions is "I have no excuse P.O."
2. Beards make you look cool.
3. Excessive drinking is penalized.
4. Infrequent drinking is penalized.
5. Rules are what you obey when people are looking.
6. The east coast vs. west coast debate will not be solved till either the
east coast has an earthquake and sinks into the ocean or the east coast
sobers up.
7. Even the French don't like the French.
8. Other people's incompetence is an acceptable topic for everyday
conversation.
9. Really shiny shoes are required for my survival in a combat situation.
10. Really well ironed pants are required for my survival in a combat
situation.
11. Having the back of my neck well shaved is required for my survival in a
combat situation.
12. Clean underwear is not required. Ever.
13. The unusually large size of the terd in the heads is an acceptable
topic for everyday conversation.
14. Leading Seamen don't out rank ****.
15. Grown adults are not mature enough and for their own protection
need to be told to not run with scissors.
16. Grown adults cannot be trusted to not burn off their testacies with hot
equipment and need to be constantly supervised.
17. Not getting off early enough for an afternoon nap is an acceptable
complaint.
18. All naval traditions are vaguely gay.
19. The following sentence makes perfect sense to a navy man; "The
Master Seaman went to the poop deck to watch the Rear Admiral swallow the
anchor and drink moose milk.
20. Retiring is called "swallowing the anchor."
21. Floors are called decks.
22. Walls are called bulk heads.
23. Toilets are called heads.
24. Desserts are called duffs.
25. Hallways are called flats.
26. A boat can fit on a ship. A ship can not fit on a boat.
27. Don't touch the floor in the showers.
28. Don't touch the walls in the showers.
29. Don't touch the hand railings, anywhere.
30. On Tuesday I will be having meat pie for dinner, seven years from
now.
31. Vegetables are not a food group.
32. Moose milk is a food group.
33. Failure to tie your shoes is an acceptable reason for ass-raping.
34. Failure to wear your headdress outdoors is an acceptable reason
for ass-raping.
35. Complaining about the ass-raping is an acceptable reason for
ass-raping.
36. All sailors swear like sailors.
37. The Scanky nature of the woman you have slept with is an
acceptable topic for everyday conversation.
38. The Scanky nature of the woman you are sleeping with is an
acceptable topic for everyday conversation.
39. The Scanky nature of the woman you are trying to sleep with is
an acceptable topic for everyday conversation.
40. The law of diminishing returns does not apply to revenue driven
military operations such as the galley on base.
41. Decreasing quality and increasing prices thereby decreasing the
customer base is an effective way for the galley to make more
money.
42. A promotion to the rank of P.O. comes with a fair bit of weight.
Usually about 120 pounds.
43. The word navy is an acronym that stands for Never Again
Volunteer Yourself.
44. You will be told when to volunteer for things.
45. Spending 15k on monitoring software to ensure people don't use
government computers to play solitaire during their lunch breaks is an
acceptable use of public funds.
46. Spending 1k$ to purchase technical manuals made within the
past 20 years is not an acceptable use of public funds.
47. Spending millions to retrofit a ship and then immediately
decommission it and spend millions more to return it to its original
state so it can be given to a museum for free is an acceptable use of
public funds.
48. Spending one dollar for a replacement pencil is not an acceptable
use of public funds.
49. People who tell you to get your hair cut are always bald.
50. Victoria smells good and has only a couple of bars.
51. Halifax smells bad and has a couple hundred bars.
52. Drinking is optional. In Victoria, British Columbia.
53. Showers are optional. In Halifax. Nova Scotai.
54. Do not eat the communal cheese.
55. All doors are button operated for the benefit of people in wheel chairs..
Even the doors that lead to stairwells.
56. Cologne should be applied by dipping your head into a bucket of the
cheapest **** you can find.
57. The sense of smell is a privilege, not a right. It will be
revoked if abused.
58. Everybody requires a nick name. Preference
will be given to names that imply homosexuality. E.g. "spanky"
59. Where we will drink next Friday is an acceptable topic for
everyday conversation.
60. Where we will drink next Saturday is an acceptable topic for everyday
conversation.
61. Where we will drink next Sunday is an acceptable topic for everyday
conversation.
62. Where we will drink on lunch break during the week is an acceptable
topic for everyday conversation.

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Old 28-07-2006, 10:52   #3
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This sounds like a scam in the works
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Old 28-07-2006, 11:12   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rsn48
Things I've learnt from the Canadian navy.
The next time someone suggests that the world is going to hell in a handbasket I intend to offer this list as a rebuttal. There is still hope!
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Old 28-07-2006, 13:20   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by never monday
This sounds like a scam in the works
My immediate reaction as well - sad really!
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Old 03-08-2006, 04:34   #6
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Location: Lagos
Posts: 3
thank you

I am glad I could connect with you guys out there.Thank you for the responses. My email is desidudu@yahoo.com. Cheers everyone!
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