My thanx to you and your wife for your service
Gulf War I happened and I was guaranteed to be one of the first civilians sent over, due to my being the only one with a valid passport. Everyone else went, I sat and stewed and screamed and kicked, and everyone came back more-or-less in one piece, when one day a parcel was dropped on my desk. Inside was my passport and a note that said, "We were cleaning
up down here in the bowels of the Pentagon when we came across your passport and application. Sorry about that."
Based on the number of personnel who later came down with symptoms that were later described as Gulf War Syndrome, I'm guessing it was a blessing that I didn't go.
When Gulf War II hit, the US Army Corps of Engineers said to us, "Well, you know we COULD order you to go. We have that option, but we'd prefer if you volunteered."
They didn't have to ask me twice. I volunteered for a 4-month deployment, which I extended to a fifth. I volunteered for a 6-month deployment, which I extended to a seventh. Then I volunteered for a full-year deployment, for a total time Downrange of two years.
Meanwhile Georgie-Porgie, in order to pay back a Major Campaign Donor, privatized the IT functions in the Corps of Engineers by giving him the contract
. How's that working out? Just ask the poor suckers who are living with the aftershocks.
I was given 3 options. First, I could apply for my old job with the new company. And give up my 20-something year career in civil service
in the process. Yeah, right. Second, I could apply for another position in civil service. ("I hear that Bumf**k, ND, is accepting applications.") Or, thirdly, I could apply for Early Retirement.
(Two seconds passed, during which time I pursed my lips and pressed my finger to them, indicating I was in Deep Thought.)
HELL YEAH, I WANT EARLY RETIREMENT!!!
And here I yam.