Need Help Proposing to My Girlfriend

[SailFastTri]

Originally Posted by bluemoose

I have to agree here. I like the whole idea, except the ring in the wine. Ask her to grab the wine glasses; have the ring in tissue paper in one and let he open it. But in the wine? No, I think that is a bad idea. Plus it will be the last thing to come out of the bottle, so it will be at the end of her second glass....

BTW - good luck. This month is 22 years for us of ups, downs, and everything in between.

I agree - just think about it: Ring sinks to bottom, will be the last out. Extra wide neck means you can't tip the bottle up quickly without overflowing the glass.

I vote for presenting the ring at the appropriate moment in conversation over a nice dinner or beach barbeque... More situational control and lower risk for
"staged prop" malfunction. If she loves you it's all good, no matter what you do. This isn't a movie.

[karenmccraw]

Well, our boat is in Oriental, NC and I think it's all a GREAT idea. You are absolutely welcome to use it if you happen to be traveling that far south. Beautiful setting too!

[letsgetsailing3]

Originally Posted by Streetlethal100

Well I already bought myself a house, a nice car, a motorcycle and a dirt bike. I think its time I give her something she wants. As long as I don't give it to her on a holiday or her birthday, the ring is a sing of a binding agreement. She legally has to give it back to me if she doesn't want to marry down the road.



I may try to do this if I have time. Its hard to get away from the GF long enough without making up some crazy excuse where I am. I tried calling a few marinas but most people dont know me from a hole in the wall, and think im some jamoke with a dream.



If you sterilize the ring just like you do with a new clean wine bottle I think it should be fine as far as health. I honestly think the ring will stay in the bottle after I pour two glasses. Hopefully she will see the ring in the bottle.

Anyone with money can buy stuff, its the one who is creative who makes the best proposal ideas! This is what I am striving for.

I do appreciate the tips and suggestions though guys.
Brett

You seem to be laboring under a few misconceptions.

First, she doesn't have to give the ring back if she doesn't marry you. The ring is a gift, not a contract. Don't confuse what she should do with what she is legally bound to do. From what you say, however, this isn't really going to be a problem.

Second, I suggested you avoid the "ring in the wine bottle" thing because it's a gimmick. A gimmick. It doesn't make your evening special in any way. Nobody would even do that to a good wine, so it also says something else about you -- that you don't know wines. In case you STILL don't get it, picture this. You're ready to pop the old question, and you realize that you still have a couple of glasses of wine left in the bottle. Your palms are sweaty, but now you find that you have to drink yet one more glass of that swill just to get that ring to bounce out of the bottle into your girl's glass, after which she still has to drink it, or stick her fingers in. Not exactly a James Bond moment, is it? I suggest instead that you invest your money in a (slightly) better bottle of wine. I've commented on this twice now, and I won't bother a third time.

The boat idea has merit. Go with that, and keep it classy.

[bizzy]

save your money and buy a boat ,,,,twice the fun and half the expence

[deepblueln]

Is the boat or waterfront setting important to one or both of you in some way? If not, might be worthwhile to consider a setting with more personal resonance -- a picnic at the peak for climbers, etc. Not to say your idea is a bad one, just a thought if you're going for a personally meaningful kind of evening.
I'm also going to hop on the 'no ring in the bottle' crew. Being proposed to - great! Having to fish the ring out of my drink (or food) -- not so much. I've no idea where that trope came from, I've never met a woman who claimed she liked it. And with the sinking issue, I think you're going to end up very invested in the thing going off as you envision it, which is going to lead to her wondering why you keep pushing another glass on her. She'll still say yes if she's sober, right?
Finally - there is no obligation to return any gift, regardless of when it's given. If your expense on the ring is calculated on the assumption that you'll be getting it back if the marriage doesn't make it -- get a less expensive one, something you can afford to give away. We don't care as much about size as Hollywood would have you believe.
With that said though, I like your general idea and hope you find someone who can help you out making it happen. And good luck with the big day (and the decades after)!

[bluemoose]

@letsgo. hey, he's just a kid. i remember doing a lot of things to impress my girl that in retrospect makes me wonder about her judgement in marrying me. that said, he has an idea and wants to make it happen. as older guys (you sound older and i feel older) we have all those extra years on us that make us think this is silly (and yes, not something to do to an old vine zin, but maybe a white one...). however, he knows her better than we do, and it will certainly be a memorable event, especially with all the possible areas for things to deviate from plan (nothing ever goes to plan anyways).

@OP - ok, let us know how it goes. I'm 500 miles too far west to help you. good luck

[FLLCatsailor]

Originally Posted by Streetlethal100

I may try to do this if I have time. Its hard to get away from the GF long enough without making up some crazy excuse where I am. I tried calling a few marinas but most people dont know me from a hole in the wall, and think im some jamoke with a dream.


I do appreciate the tips and suggestions though guys.
Brett

I would say if you are already having to make crazy excuses where you are be careful... That's a HUGE red flag to me...

[fishin4bogey]

Was thinking the same thing, Cat!! If the OP is having to answer a ton of questions now, that never gets better with time.

[deepblueln]

Originally Posted by fishin4bogey

Was thinking the same thing, Cat!! If the OP is having to answer a ton of questions now, that never gets better with time.

Well, that depends on location, doesn't it? If the marina is 30 minutes across town, then yes - this is a problem. But if there's nowhere suitable nearby, he's going to have to devote a whole day or more to the drive ... that's different. I'm pretty laid-back about his comings & goings, but I know I'd be a little concerned if my SO decided to disappear for a day or 2 but wouldn't tell me where or why. Especially if living together or seeing each other on a mostly daily basis.

[SaucySailoress]

It seems to me like the best place to have a romantic dinner would be on the boat. Who knows, maybe your skipper to be is a dab hand at cooking, and will even put on a butler's uniform to emphasize the poshness of it all....

[Streetlethal100]

Well, A lot to take in. I am thinking about all of your comments and trying to morph the idea into something that will be safe, and still creative. I appriciate your advice on all subjects ladies and gents.

Bluemoose - thank you
Deepbluein - We love doing wine tastings together. She got me into it because shes a bar tender at a few fancy restaurantes. We have talked about getting married at a winery setting because that is "us". The proposal idea I just want to be creatively romantic and something that another cant just buy. I want to try and go out of my way to make it different. I feel like this is something that sets me apart from others.

Letsgetsailing3 - My girlfriend is actually going to law school as well. She was the one to explain the details to me in a class she had relating to contracts.

Karenmccraw - I appreciate the offer. That is very kind of you, but not sure how I would fit in a 2 day drive into my plan lol.


Does anyone have any CREATIVE suggestions that I can consider to take the place of the ring in the wine bottle? If I ditch the whole sail boat thing all together, I may try to set up a dining room table, and full made dinner on a private beach somewhere at sunset. Later today I will call the ASA sailing school to see if they can offer me any creative ideas that still include the sail boat.

I may be cutting my stay short here on the forum if my idea takes another direction. Before I leave I just wanted to thank you guys for the tips and suggestions.

Thanks
Brett

[letsgetsailing3]

Originally Posted by deepblueln

Is the boat or waterfront setting important to one or both of you in some way? If not, might be worthwhile to consider a setting with more personal resonance -- a picnic at the peak for climbers, etc. Not to say your idea is a bad one, just a thought if you're going for a personally meaningful kind of evening.

I agree.

If the OP has another meaningful hobby with his future bride, something related to that may be more personalized.

Short of that, however, the boat is a fine idea.

[Streetlethal100]

Originally Posted by deepblueln

Well, that depends on location, doesn't it? If the marina is 30 minutes across town, then yes - this is a problem. But if there's nowhere suitable nearby, he's going to have to devote a whole day or more to the drive ... that's different. I'm pretty laid-back about his comings & goings, but I know I'd be a little concerned if my SO decided to disappear for a day or 2 but wouldn't tell me where or why. Especially if living together or seeing each other on a mostly daily basis.

The nearest ocean area would be about an hour away for me. My only chance would be to say Im going on a motorcycle ride with freinds for the day. and take the whole day to ride the coast and stop at various marinas and Yaht clubs.

My GF isnt bad, but if I just get up and leave the house for 4 hours on end she may be curious where I am off too. She does kind of know its coming, so I need to have an excuse and reason for every step I take so she doesnt figure out too much before the big day.

[fishin4bogey]

If the two of you enjoy the wine tasting thing, I'd definitely go that route. Have one of the people there slip it into a glass of white wine so she doesn't drink it.

[Rakuflames]

Originally Posted by letsgetsailing3

Borrowing a boat, well that could be a good idea. I'd try a local marina -- you needn't go far to find what you're looking for. A nice restaurant overlooking the water would also do fine, and get you a better meal.

The ring in the wine bottle isn't such a good idea. Just give her the ring, but get quality wine and pour it in a real wine glass.

Romantic is good, pretending or trying too hard isn't. The harder you try to make things "perfect", the more life will intervene to make it not so.

Good luck.

I think all in all it's a beautiful idea, but I agree about not putting the wine in the bottle.

The obvious temptation will be to drink the entire bottle of wine, since the ring will be at the bottom.

IMO drinking a whole bottle of wine on a sailboat you aren't familiar with is a bad idea. They tip and roll and you'll be tipping and rolling by then without the boat's help.

Neither of you, it sounds, are familiar with boats, and getting on and off a boat tipsy is ... an accident (a bad one) waiting to happen.

If you don't spend a lot of time on boats, the alcohol is likely to "enhance" any seasickness.

Also I think it should only be just so complicated.

I was proposed to On New Year's Eve (my birthday) sitting with a lap blanket in a Hanson Cab, riding through Central Park on a moonlit night in the snow. That, I think, can compete with a beautiful boat. It never occurred to be that anything else was needed.

By the time you've made all your elaborate plans, I say just be direct, spontaneous and "who you are." Just think about it. I still had the most beautiful "engagement story" I'd ever heard.

Also, I knew it was coming, not just when -- so he knew he wasn't going to get a "no" after all his trouble.