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Old 15-01-2017, 12:24   #1
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My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

I just joined the forum because I want to learn which of my crazy ideas make sense. So I plan on asking questions, but first would like to introduce myself.

My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad from the Wind in the Willows. I tend to get obsessed with great ideas (at least I think they are great). My latest is to sell everything and buy a boat and cruise around the world. (Not necessarily circumnavigate but more like a walk-about but by sailboat)

I'm guessing the people on this forum don't think this is such a crazy idea, but given that I have never even been on a sailboat some may think I'm a bit crazy.

But I'm used to having people think I'm crazy because a couple of years ago, with no prior polar experience, or even any kind of expedition experience I took a bike down to Antarctica and biked from the coast to the South Pole. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Burton

So anyway this idea of retiring to a sailboat doesn't seem that crazy to me. The biggest problem I have is my wife isn't on board with my plan. Anyway I have a lot of questions I need to ask.
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Old 15-01-2017, 13:31   #2
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

If your wife's not on board, she won't be on board
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Old 15-01-2017, 13:47   #3
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

For most people in your position.... yes it is most likely a crazy idea. Can you pull it off? Possible... but it's a very long and steep hill ahead.. and so it's unlikely because you'll likely reassess once you learn a few things and come to see how much work your dream actually is.
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Old 15-01-2017, 14:05   #4
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

Try a captained sailing charter for your next holiday. You and your wife will get a small taste of the life with little investment.
You can learn as much or as little as you want about sailing too.
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Old 15-01-2017, 14:09   #5
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

Hello,

Of course you aren't crazy! Sheesh...any guy who can bike Antarctica can certainly cruise via sail boat.
Gotta wonder about the guy who suggested you will quit when you realize the work involved...any way...

There are lots of posts regarding getting your spouse interested in cruising. Use the search to find the most recent thread "Help! Trying to get wife into the game.." Lots of good ideas.
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Old 15-01-2017, 18:41   #6
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

I am in (pardon the pun) the same boat as yourself. I dream of traveling the world by boat as well but with my wife having no interest in it, I know that I'd be doing it alone. But who knows, one day she may (again pardon the pun) get on board with the idea. Lol Best of luck to you.


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Old 15-01-2017, 20:02   #7
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

Go for it, my wife does not know who mister toad is but I read the post to her. Here is what I did.. Woke up one day wanting to sail, bought a Laser (sailboat I'm not stupid) at the first opportunity, then a slightly bigger one because I realised sailing with people is more fun, took some formal lessons, started chartering, informed work I would be away for some time... The whole of 2019, I have no plans after this. There is a lot to learn but easily doable and it is a constant process, and lots of help available. Good luck.
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Old 15-01-2017, 20:22   #8
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

Taking a chartered cruise, probably with a captain, better on a bigger cat, which will still seem small coming from land, might be a way to get the wife to at least consider. It's way different then land life and not everyone (men and women) adapt to it.

It has been done before. The Bumfuzzles have done it from zero. Not really recommended, but it has been done. The Many Adventures of Bumfuzzle. scroll down to the bottom for their greenhorn sailing adventures. Mind you others have done it also, though for some, with far less happier endings too.
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Old 15-01-2017, 20:35   #9
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

My personal feeling is if you own a home and planning on selling that as "everything", it is a little irresponsible. They don't grow on trees. i cruise very frugally. I have a home paid off and when my cruising days are over, I have that as my nest egg. What will you have? Remember, your wife's future is at stake also.
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Old 15-01-2017, 21:20   #10
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

Nice to meet you even on a forum. I hope you post a little more . Seems like you already know how to plan and execute. I would sail a few different sailboats to get the idea how each type feels. Let me Wheel this idea at you. All Sailboats are a compromise like bikes. Your South pole machine would not be much on a Tour de France A BMX is good in its realm others do what they do. You will need to figure out how you want to sail and where or vise versa. Just have fun enjoy the ride as you learn. I am going to recommend a few books. Get Her on Board by Nick O'clock Kelly. This one may help explain and understand how your view looks to her. I recommend even just Wikipedia reading about Sir Ernest Shackleton. The whole book is amazing. You might hear or read sailing is like standing in a cold shower tearing up hunderd dollar bills. You will get cold and wet going no place fast, kissing money and sane thoughts good bye. What are you waiting for don't miss the boat. Kind Regards and post agian soon, Lou
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Old 15-01-2017, 23:27   #11
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

Hello, South Polar Bear, the being who does not exist.....

Good on your bicycle stunt. If you are a stuntist, you should plan on your wife not accompanying you. Then you can just blunder through it, and you may succeed or not, but no one else is involved, i.e. responsible for your effort, failure, or victory. I am not being mean, here, I am merely stating what I perceive to be a fact. A short check on my profile will give you my experience for making such a statement.

If you are a committed person in your relationship, it is different. First, there is how do you get your wife interested? If she was active in support of your polar expedition, you have an idea, already, what interests her *enough*.

Learning the rudiments of sailing is easy. Both of you can take sailing lessons: lots of sailors out here are still self taught, although, I truly believe that women do best with female instructors, without their men folk present, and develop confidence and ability by following that route. I think it is probably best for most--not all--women, pls. remember here, we do not know you, nor your wife. At any rate, beyond sailing lessons, comes good seamanship, for this, you need old salt instruction, or lots of reading.

Your eventual success as cruisers will mostly depend on your perseverance and interest--again, your wife's portion of this is completely unknown to us. However, if she is "outdoorsy", intelligent, flexible of body and mind, and persevering, she may well turn into a great cruiser. For both of you, mechanical and creative thinking will be an important bonus.

All for now,

Ann
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Old 15-01-2017, 23:49   #12
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

A lot of great replies, it's awesome.

My original plans for Antarctica involved a partner going with me and snowmobile support, but in the end it ended up being a 51 days by myself expedition. So yeah I will adapt. There are several ways this can work out, but we will figure it out. My wife isn't as crazy as I am so that will moderate the plan, but that is probably a good thing.

I've been reading a lot of different sailing forms, blogs, etc. for the past year or so. So much great stuff out there. But still a lot to learn.

I got invited to be on a game show and went to LA to film it a couple of months ago. While there I rented a bike and rode down form Hollywood to the Dufour dealer. Right now a Dufour grand large is on the top of my list of what boat I want.

I also have to decide where I want to start. I'm really not interested at all in the coast of California which is the closest ocean to me. But think I would like Oregon up to Alaska. Maybe Mexico in the winter. But my wife and I love the Caribbean and my son will probably end up living on the east coast so that may be where to start. The other possibility would be starting in the Mediterranean. So many great places to visit in Europe.
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Old 16-01-2017, 02:52   #13
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

Anything is possible... My point was that lots of preparation is necessary. Every olt salt salts as a noob at one point. I suppose most have to transition to life at sea because of so many factors...intellectual, emotional, technical, financial... no pun intended but this is a sea change for anyone who has no life on the water. Challenges seem not to worry you... and that would be a very good thing.

I'd be curious to learn how much time it takes you to begin your cruising... now that you've committed to it... and how your perceptions change.

Keep us in the loop and good luck.

Crazy is not a bad thing always.
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Old 16-01-2017, 03:02   #14
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, Dan.
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Old 16-01-2017, 03:07   #15
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Re: My wife thinks I'm Mr Toad

No it's not crazy at all. This forum is full of people who are full-time liveaboards, myself included. A good number of them started out with no prior sailing experience.

Going out and looking at new boats is putting the cart before the horse, unless you're just whetting your appetite. You should spend some time on a few different boats, with an experienced owner/captain, before you settle too closely on what you think you want/need. You don't have the knowledge or experience to make a well considered decision at this point.

In addition to the idea of chartering a boat, consider volunteering to serve as crew on a boat making a longer passage. You'll learn a tremendous amount about every aspect of living aboard including sailing, general seamanship, navigating, maintenance, cooking, etc. There are always owners and delivery captains looking for unpaid crew to help out. Just be sure you hook up with someone experienced, and on a decent boat and not too long a passage to start. There is a forum section for that here, and there are other resources on the net as well for connecting with boats that need crew.

I've said it before as have others; if you're living aboard you need to be a proficient sailor, navigator, weatherman, mechanic, electrician, plumber, etc. You can read all you want but time spent on the water with someone with those skills will put it all in perspective.
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