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Old 26-04-2015, 23:34   #1
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Life's Too Short III

Hi, to all that read this. My name is Jeff Sutton. I have been sailing for approx. 38 years and thought I would never replace the boat I dreamed of to cruise on with my wife once the kids were done with school. And that dream went to hell when we were 4 months away from what I was lead to believe before we married. I completely Rebuilt a 51 Alutian she was. Everything I wanted in a boat. She wasn't my first boat. I had 7 prior. Once I found her over the next 3 years your out the entire interior to completly see every single part of this boat to restore or replace. She was georgeous when finished. From 7" wide teak flooring 3 custom built ice boxes with a seperate flash freezer. Granite tops farm house sink washer dryer combo new Jacuzzi tub. And every hose clamp electrical wire through hulls, chain plates pumps riigging ect. Nothing left undone. My kids and I enjoyed one year sailing her once finished. I should of know then something was wrong. Wife NEVER went. long story short. She filed for divorce 2 months before the last one leaves to colledge. And boom just like that it's all gone. Sold the boat went through a horrific divorce. All the kids lived with me when they came home. And life began to show me how beautiful it is. I bought a 41 freeport Islander that already had the big ticket items replaced. Brand new Perkins diesel new righing new Lp and I slowly began falling in love with her. I personally replaced all electrical all plumbing all chain plates ever single thing I could get my hands on. It was the first time I didn't have my employes do it. Nobody touched it. She became my distraction from life. Now I realize I am weeks away from buttoning everything up. And realize all I need to do is take that leap. And it's scaring like I have never been scared before. It's not like I haven't sailed before or Crossed the pacific single handed. Something about this time and realizing I don't have to be anywhere or worry about getting back. Scary exciting. And holly crap. I can't believe I just poured my life into a intro. Anyway hi everyone. Again I am Jeff I live in Santa Barbara. Me and the boat have been between Santa Barbara and San Diego since last June i sailed her 5 times each way and i am finally over being sad about My last One. Her name says it all.

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Old 27-04-2015, 00:59   #2
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Re: Life's Too Short III

HI Jeff.

I think you will find several on this board have been through relationship issues not based on honesty and ending in divorce.

I have.

It was not to do with a boat but your story mirrors mine apart from the nautical aspect.

When you take your first personal "sail away from everything" be it long or short to a destination that you want, under your own direction and choice, alone or with one or more of the children, it will all come together, life the Universe and #42. It is a large step for Jeff, as mankind doesn't really give a stuff. Many of us have done the same thing in different ways.

Live the dream Jeff.


- Never test how deep the water is with both feet -
10% of conflicts are due to different opinions. 90% by the tone of voice.
Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
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Old 27-04-2015, 03:36   #3
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Re: Life's Too Short III

Sounds to me that you love your boats and you might find some satisfaction making your current boat bend to your dreams. Solo sailing can be a lonely pastime but I think that crew might magically appear given some encouragement. You have a roomy boat and so you will still enjoy some privacy if you need it.

Retirement (which I sense you are worried about) is a wonderful time of life. You might still be relatively fit, capable of taking and mastering risks, still able to climb the mast and probably still able to hold your own in the club quarters. Now is the time to slacken the lines a little and enjoy.
We only sail for 3 months each year, but much of our life is filled with preparing, making, researching and simply waiting like an excited child to get back on board.
Remember that there is still life on the land. One of the best things we did was to own a house that needed some work on it. A hands-on person like you will enjoy the challenge of making a home new again.

Sharing experiences, adventures and even disasters is a great way to build inner strength and strengthen your resolve to go on.
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Old 27-04-2015, 04:52   #4
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Re: Life's Too Short III

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, Jeff.
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"

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Old 27-04-2015, 05:14   #5
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Re: Life's Too Short III

Retiring in December after a very prolonged negotiation with my Wife. She coming, I think.

But, hell yeah, scary as all get out. Can't wait to go. Like a little kid who finally got to get to the high board at the pool. Whined and whined until allowed, now clinging onto the sides as I edge out to the precipice.
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Old 27-04-2015, 08:19   #6
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Re: Life's Too Short III

Jeff, hello and congratulations on moving your life past a major loss and finding the strength to continue pursuing your dream. The sun comes up each new day. The past is past. Today is THE ADVENTURE.

S/V B'Shert
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Old 28-04-2015, 12:38   #7
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Re: Life's Too Short III

Wow, I am kinda lost for words. And just saying thank you to all of you who took the time to not only read something long and very personal from someone you have never meet. And then take the time for some beautiful caring, thoughtful, words hmmmm reminds me there are still amazing people left in this world. Thank you for such warm and welcoming replies.

To know me and what I've gone through for the last 51 years. To see I don't just say it is what it is and don't fight it. And to really listen to what you don't really hear. Life becomes much more beautiful. Much easier less complicated.

With sincere gratitude

Thank you all so much
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Old 28-04-2015, 13:24   #8
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Re: Life's Too Short III

Good luck. I think freedom is scary to lots of folks.
Pat, from the Desert Sea
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Old 08-05-2015, 13:51   #9
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Re: Life's Too Short III

Hi Jeff,
I am newly single too and am learning some very similar lessons. I am on my first boat and learning to fly solo. I found a PSC Flicka and am discovering that she is exactly what I needed at the right time. She is helping me get my confidence back and proving to me that I can do anything I set my mind to. All I can do is take one day at a time and keep moving towards my dream of sailing around the world. I will get there, but for now my little boat is teaching me so much! Hang in there!

Sent from my iPad using Cruisers Sailing Forum

PSC Flicka - Dragonfly
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