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Old 22-04-2008, 10:35   #1
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His dream... not Hers

So I have reached a point in my life where I believe I can actually live my dream. I sailed racing cats for many years in my youth and have extensive time on fishing boats in San Diego and Cabo San Lucas. Now I want to do the liveaboard on a 40'+ cat. (The leopard 45 really excites me). Big problem, the wife thinks I am crazy and has no desire, what so ever. This has shocked me as she grew up at the beach, loves the water and we are both scuba divers. <----- I had to drag her butt into that too. LOL. I have decided to take a liveaboard course in Florida first off. Not sure if those certs will enable me to charter but we will have to see. Maybe I could get her on a bare boat charter for a week and beat some sense into her.

In the end, I would love to set my boat up for diving and charter one week on and one week off. I think that would pay for the slip and maintenance.
If I can't get my wife on board, I may be looking for a "Her dream.. not His" posting on this board.

In any case, I have just joined your forum and think there is a wealth of information to be learned here. I am an active participate on the Scuba Board and have learned a lot from the posters there.

Thanks for taking the time to read my dream.


s.i.t.s. Sails into the sunset

Bruce
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Old 22-04-2008, 11:12   #2
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Welcome,

I find a liveaboard course very interesting. I don't know how much they are charging you. I could give you a course so you will know how to unclog a toilet, handle a sander without any real serious damage to yourself. Wake you up in the middle of the night for a pretend anchor dragging course. Properly apply tape, and pull it off succesfully too for varnishing.

I can't imagine this course allowing you to charter boats. Although I have known people with no experience who were willing to lie, and charter boats. Taking them from Miami to the Abacos, and back successfully.

Of course I am just playing with you about the course, but it really is something new to me. Hopefully she will get the bug too. Once it starts there is no turning back.

We would all like to work a week, and take a week off. You must be warned that chartering to strangers is a most difficult task. Usually it is the personalities that are difficult, and not the work. Especially over nighters that include drinking.....BEST WISHES in it all working out for you............
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Old 22-04-2008, 11:38   #3
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You must be warned that chartering to strangers is a most difficult task. Usually it is the personalities that are difficult, and not the work. Especially over nighters that include drinking.
I agree that this is a challenge. One nice thing about serious divers is that alcohol is not conducive to diving. Many problems with DCS are attributed to drinking. So in my experience most divers are pretty conservative on the booze and if someone decides to drink during the day they are done diving until the next.

Bruce
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Old 22-04-2008, 13:38   #4
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Thankfully my wife shares my dream so I feel for you.

My friends wife doesnt think its crazy but tells him she is happy enough living the suburban life surrounded by her friends, family and shops, and has no desire to even get in a boat, unless its one of those big white cruiseship jobbies.
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Old 23-04-2008, 18:03   #5
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I just got back from a weeklong class on a Leopard 45 in the Virgin Islands. I liked a lot of features about the boat but that 4-head version I was on would not be something I would ever buy for myself. I also did not like the cockpit layout much. I guess it is set up for charter and that's the compromise you make. I also think 45' is a little more boat than I need.

A few years ago when I first came up with the idea that when I retired I wanted to live aboard and cruise around I thought my boyfriend would be all over that. Same thing....loved the ocean and boats and the islands....it seemed like a no-brainer. The first time I mentioned it he was incredulous and dismissive, then completely negative. I was suprised at the depth of his revulsion to the idea, to say the least. We never even really talked about it again before we split up. We are still friends and keep in touch. He still doesn't really believe I'll actually sail off someday.

It was interesting, I bought some property in the Bahamas as a plan-B for retirement a year or two later. Somehow, that was acceptable and he thought THAT was a good idea. Wierd.

I retire in 2014 at age 47. I hope I can find a partner for this venture before then but if not, I'm still going.

Good luck to you.
Gail
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Old 23-04-2008, 18:48   #6
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There have always been grass widows (golf) hopefully she will allow to have a go at your dream, once you are out there doing it perhaps she wouldn't be averse to meeting you at your arrival point and enjoying the local scenery before you continue on and she returns home to await your next port of arrival.
Of course you will need crew for the voyages, if they are pretty, well, it might spark her interest, if not well nature has a way of sorting these things out generally for the best of all parties.
Good luck, follow your dream.
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Old 23-04-2008, 19:27   #7
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Why cant you do both? Spend time in boring suburbia and cruise? It does not need to be one or the other. That's what my wife and I plan on doing when we retire. Spend some time at home and some time cruising.
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Old 24-04-2008, 07:05   #8
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I retire in 2014 at age 47. I hope I can find a partner for this venture before then but if not, I'm still going.
How the hell are you retiring at 47? Well done Gail... Don't think you will have a problem finding a mate.

Quote:
Why cant you do both? Spend time in boring suburbia and cruise? It does not need to be one or the other. That's what my wife and I plan on doing when we retire. Spend some time at home and some time cruising.
In a perfect world that would be great but who can afford a home, a boat, slip and insurance in Florida? The insurance and property taxes in Florida are ridiculous so that is out of the equation. Although there are some pretty attractive prices on Condos in SW Florida but that wouldn't not be my first choice but now that I think about it, it might be a great ice breaker. Hmmmm may have to explore that idea.
Thanks for everyones input.

Bruce
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Old 24-04-2008, 07:16   #9
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I just got back from a weeklong class on a Leopard 45 in the Virgin Islands. I liked a lot of features about the boat but that 4-head version I was on would not be something I would ever buy for myself.
Oh yeah forgot to comment... I would love to find an owners version that had 3 heads, as they either come with 4 cabins and 4 heads or the owners version and 2 heads. I am in the infancy of this and have no idea what I will end up with but from all of the designs I have looked at, the Leopard seems to fit my bill. Hell I don't care, just give me something with two hulls and some sails.

Bruce
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Old 24-04-2008, 07:56   #10
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I love onboard cruising life and wouldn't change it but, looking for a Her dream not His could also mean you losing at least 50% of what you own which may mean not retiring.
Maybe do the charter thing and woo her into it instead of beating it into her...if she falls in love with it on her own it will be a mutual dream.
Dragging her butt into it, beating it into her...I don't want to be judgemental, but I wouldn't want to be together in a small space either.
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Old 24-04-2008, 09:02   #11
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Dragging her butt into it, beating it into her...I don't want to be judgemental, but I wouldn't want to be together in a small space either.
I was being sarcastic. My wife was very reluctant to get into scuba diving even though I knew she would love it. If I didn't push her she wouldn't have done it and now she wants to know when our next trip is. Getting her on the charter and using the woo factor is probably the best approach. Appreciate the advice.

Bruce
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Old 24-04-2008, 09:22   #12
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Silverbranch,

Where were you when I was single 6 years ago?
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Old 24-04-2008, 19:40   #13
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How the hell are you retiring at 47? Well done Gail... Don't think you will have a problem finding a mate.
I got hired as an air traffic controller at 22 and we can retire with 25 yrs in. (20 yrs if you're 50 or over, and we must retire at 56) I can't wait.

One thing you might consider is doing a crewed charter with your wife first. Having someone else handle all the nitty-gritty details will lead to less stress and worry for you and really accentuate the positives. I did one a few years ago and it was great. You can also help out as much as you wish and make it a learning experience for yourself. If the first trip is all sunsets, snorkeling and romance I think that will help her see the idea in a more positive light. First impressions and all that. Just my opinion.

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Silverbranch,

Where were you when I was single 6 years ago?
Well, they say timing is everything. Back then I was reading Voyaging under Power and was gonna buy a trawler. It will be interesting to see what I actually end up with 6 yrs from now.

Gail
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Old 24-04-2008, 22:12   #14
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When we got married and one day I came home with an old travel trailer ,she said I'm crazy . She just love camping now and three years ago had to get a new trailer. Same with skiing ,cross country skiing ,canoeing and the rest what I don't remember . My wife really never went sailing ,except same sailing on our lake ,but we already own a cruising boat and taking off in the fall from Florida . Right now as I'm writing this she is at her last sailing lesson at our local yacht club. Our two kids , age 9 and 13 are going with us, that means home schooling and extra work related to that , We just can't wait.
258 more sleeps and counting
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Old 24-04-2008, 22:13   #15
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Sorry !158 more sleeps
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