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Old 20-10-2010, 10:29   #151
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I guess what I am trying to say is…. She has to be “In” to me and…. I to her!


.

Ummmm.
Yea.
I think I get it.
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Old 20-10-2010, 11:41   #152
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Just Do It

My husband and I began our lives together with a power boat. I had sailed as a kid on hobies and had a boat of some kind or another my whole life. After several years of power boating we realized that the cost for long term cruising would be prohibitive so I began the daunting task of finding the 'right' sailboat for us. We first bought a C&C 35 which we learned to sail in the Puget Sound-all the while I knew 'I' would not sail this boat around the world-my dream boat had lots of storage, a full galley, mod full keel, cutter rig, solar panels, self steering, nav instruments, radar, watermaker... and would be a beauty!
We took vacations which included looking at possible boats. What this 3 year search told us was what boats we definately did NOT want. We narrowed our search to several which would fit our cruising lifestyle and budget. As luck would have it we found our dream boat in our backyard, the owner took our C&C in trade!!!!
We are now the proud owner of a Passport 40-Rocinante and after selling the house and most of the posessions (what a freeing experience) we have sailed from Seattle, WA to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, participated in the 09 Haha and plan to sail through the Panama canal next year sometime. We come back to visit our land based family and friends for extended time (my need) and have had many family and friends visit us in exotic ports!!
My partner is definitely IN and often says 'I never would have thought I would be doing this, and lovin' it!'.

To all you land lovers, if your mate has this 'dream' helping them fulfill it may be one of the most loving things you can do for them. Try it, it is life altering, make your cruising life your way, it doesn't have to be what you read about what others do. The way I look at it is we only 'think' we have our safe lives, that all our 'stuff' really matters-just read some of the heartbreaking posts-there are no guarantees You may NEVER have another opportunity to see amazing parts of the world, experience the culture, meet other cruisers and develop life long friendships. The people we have met cruising will remain some of our closest friends no matter how many miles seperate us. Cruising is a lifestyle change for sure-it can be mentally and physically tough-but the reward is worth all the effort.
photo is son Andrew, Vicki (me) and Larry (better half)
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Old 20-10-2010, 11:59   #153
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I'm thrilled to see so many sailing women - I'm so tired of opening up Cruising World to find only articles that assume the female partner is just along for the ride.

We're both in, 100% - it's OUR dream.

Here's our story:

Philip and I met 12 years ago in Nairobi, Kenya. While we were fast friends immediately, basically our relationship was -- at the beginning -- just a convenience. He was young British chap who was headed back to the UK finish his degree; I was an American bird headed back to restart my career in DC. We lived in a little cottage near the UN, where we were working, and -- in the absence of a car, telephone, tv, radio or much else to do -- spent each evening tossing back too many gin and tonics (to keep the mosquitos away, of course) and talking over cards. When it came time to head home, we parted with no expectation of continuing the relationship.

Within a week, we had called each other and admitted that we thought we needed to grow old together.

During the course of our relationship, it became clear that we both shared a passion for sailing and a desire to one day see the world from a boat. Philip had sailed on Windermere in the Lake District as a boy and always dreamed of sailing around the world (though he admits that, as a small boy, there was no GIRL in this picture!). My father had bought a 32' Yorktown while I was in college, the stormy winter the California drought ended, and I had developed a taste for sailing while crewing in crazy Pacific swells, up on the bow, yee-hawing each time the boat slammed over a wave.

But the dream really got started when, about 9 years ago, we visited my Dad and step-mom on their next boat in Puerto Vallarta for Christmas. They spent 5 years cruising Baja, and we asked ourselves, "Hey, why can't we do this?" On the plane ride home, we set in motion our ten-year plan to do it ourselves.

About four years ago, we took one of the key first steps, and bought a 26' PY centerboard coastal cruiser and began blogging about our adventures cruising the Chesapeake -- as much to have a record of what we were learning as anything else (I think our families were the only people who even looked at the blog!). This summer, we took the plunge and bought my dad's boat, a 40' Hardin SeaWolf Ketch. Since July, we've been working nonstop to renovate the boat, rent the house, rid ourselves of our stuff, and prepare to cruise. Next Friday is my last day of work and we hope to be at my brother's in Norfolk for Thanksgiving, on our way to the Caribbean for the winter.

I feel amazingly fortunate to have married my best friend and found a dream that we can pursue together.
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Old 20-10-2010, 13:23   #154
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goood to see others are sailing boats similar to mine!!!! our leaky teakies are soo awesome!!!!! hope to meet you guys out there--- are you in the leaky teaky uacht club --yahoo group?? a lot of help there for us with these awesome yet needy boats!!!!!
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Old 20-10-2010, 13:30   #155
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goood to see others are sailing boats similar to mine!!!! our leaky teakies are soo awesome!!!!! hope to meet you guys out there--- are you in the leaky teaky uacht club --yahoo group?? a lot of help there for us with these awesome yet needy boats!!!!!
Nope. My teak decks don't leak.
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Old 20-10-2010, 13:41   #156
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Interestingly my wife was in, in act we met sailing. Brought a boat before a house, spent every weekend on the boat.

Then something flipped and she is out.

Neither of us no what it was, nor can we turn it around.

We have tried slowly slowly, her being in charge, paid crew, etc etc etc

For now the plan is to get a boat, at least I can sail in the bay with the kids and friends.

If it came to it I would give it up, she is definitely my better half!
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Old 20-10-2010, 14:44   #157
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We are both "in", and have both been in for years before we met. We met during an intense snow storm through a visiting mutual friend. The visiting friend was excluded for the remainder of the evening as Brodie and I shared dreams of boats and warm beaches. It was love from then on. I was partial to a zippy racer/cruiser; he to cruising by power. Neither of us were expecting to tackle this 'til retirement, some 40 years away.

We headed down to the Seattle boat show three weeks later when over breakfast at Pike Market we said "Why not sooner?" And the dream was hatched. Though I don't believe in signs (he finds them wherever he looks, especially with the new boat) there was an engraving on the sidewalk outside that said "I have always known that at last I would take this road, but yesterday I did not know that it would be today." - Narihara Three weeks later we'd bought our first boat together, after having dated for less than two months. She was sold a year and a half later, when our "bateau de voyage" found us.

I wonder if there would have even been an "us" were it not for a love of boats. I guess it's rather a moot point now though
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Old 20-10-2010, 14:50   #158
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Love all the Great stories guys...

This has got to be one of the all time Great CF threads if I don't say so myself..
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Old 20-10-2010, 21:48   #159
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She's in and then out, in and out again, mostly in, maybe out. She can't seem to make up her mind.

We have lived on a lake in Wisconsin for almost 30 years. We started doing charters about 10 years ago. We have been on lake superior and down to the BVI. (3 times with the 4th coming this easter.) We bought a Baba 40 2 years ago and I have been getting it ready to go. We have sailed her the past 2 summers on Lake Michigan. We are selling the house and all the stuff. Hopefully we go in 2012. I am moving forward believing that for the most part she is in. If that changes for her, it changes for me. The relationship, especially since SHE is the better half, is most important. There are always other ways to get the sailing and cruising fix. I do believe that we will be going, if at least to give it a good year or so try. To the Caribbean and then I hope around the world.

As Jimmy B once said, " I'd love to get you, on a slow boat to ...."



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Old 21-10-2010, 00:55   #160
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okay here's some pix ( I think)

Hope I put this together correctly.

Todd
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Old 21-10-2010, 01:02   #161
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Cant Forget Idora

She's okay wit me.
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Old 22-10-2010, 05:50   #162
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It just seems a given that whoever is "your better half", if they are in so are you. And if they are out so are you. If ones in and the other is out, well then there is no "better half" and you fall into the room mates that have sex class relationship.

A year so I took a couple shots at a thread for what women wanted in a boat. The question remains fairly open.
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Old 22-10-2010, 06:30   #163
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It just seems a given that whoever is "your better half", if they are in so are you. And if they are out so are you. If ones in and the other is out, well then there is no "better half" and you fall into the room mates that have sex class relationship.
Non-sailor here, but this sounds right to me. And those "home benefits" can be a very strong deterrent to fulfilling one's own bigger dreams.


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A year so I took a couple shots at a thread for what women wanted in a boat. The question remains fairly open.
It's such an individual question, isn't it?

Just from reading (as if one can tell anything from that!), Velella's Adventures in Waterworld most closely approximates the kind of sailing I think I'd want to do, albeit alone. The late monsieur would have become very grumpy indeed in such a setting, but probably would have adapted to ... someone insert very cushy cruising account here, complete with large flatscreen and satellite reception for footie tournaments. Had a cruising lifestyle been important to me, I'd have had to <cringe> do so in a really posh multi-hull. That's compromise, I suppose. Perhaps I'm underestimating his willingness or ability to compromise in this hypothetical situation, but it's not as though I can verify that now.



6 Mistakes men make in sharing their sailing passion (Lessons I learned the hard way) « The Women and Cruising Blog
3 and 5 of both lists (top mistakes, and elements of success) explain why I was "guilty" in the distant past of refusing to even rent a sailboat for a day with male initiators.

Although I'm not looking for an other half, reading various SSSSSM posters' accounts of how they looked for and selected their boats tells me a lot about them. Whether my interpretation is accurate, is anyone's guess.
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Old 22-10-2010, 06:51   #164
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The mistakes arricle was interesting. I wonder how well I did on it given we talked about and researched it for over 2 years before we ever stepped onto a sailboat.
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Old 22-10-2010, 07:01   #165
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Half in ...

she enjoys sailing, but has resisted learning some of the finer, and not so fine, points. But, hopefully that will come next summer.
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