What Is with the Rudeness at CF ?

[Doodles]

Originally Posted by mintyspilot

I do not think Mark's post was rude and I think it's clear enough.

Just to be clear, I never said Mark's post was rude and I don't think anyone else did.

[mintyspilot]

Originally Posted by Doodles

Just to be clear, I never said Mark's post was rude and I don't think anyone else did.

My apologies. I must have mis-read it.

Sorry.

[VirtualVagabond]

Originally Posted by fishwife

Anyway, he's an Aussie and we all know what they're like



P.

Now now fishwife. Envy is unbecoming....
but we do try to understand how hard it is for you

[David_Old_Jersey]

I tend to also use the "Thanks" button to vent my spleen

Not so formal as a PM, so particularly useful for 1 liners to folks who have already responded to a thread - such as "is that polite for "I think you are a twat?" :-)" .........keeps me from fanning any flames on a thread. or pouring petrol on ..........but lets the Poster know that someone (at least one ) finds it funny / understands the post..........and suffices for my own purposes of spleen venting

[Reckless]

I think some of the rudeness can be attributed to words not coming across as clear in text as the poster may have intended. Often posters words are misunderstood and later corrected.

Some posts yes I agree the poster was outright being rude, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. There are also some armchair cruisers that feel they know everything based on what they read in a book or magazine that I have seen pipe up. Good rule of thumb is if you don't have any actual experience with the Original topic, stay out of it.

The back and forth pissing contests between some posters I have seen I can do without. It is fine if someone disagrees with your opinion, there is not need to argue back and forth about it, and get personal.

But as stated in previous posts CF is a rather civil forum compared to others. And the Mod do a decent job of calming things down when they get out of hand.

I enjoy this forum much more than others I am on.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Reckless

Good rule of thumb is if you don't have any actual experience with the Original topic, stay out of it.

I knew there had to be a good reason why I hadn’t posted on this thread so far… lol

Seriously, we all have our “all ready listening” buttons that can be pushed, or a pet peeve that will invoke a sharp or rude response.

When it happens in real life, we mostly tend to ignore that person, since we balance the benefit of correcting an attitude to it escalating to absurdity.

But here, it is so easy to chastise someone for a single rude remark, that some will ironically respond in kind about their behavior.

I think the reason CF works so well is that the Mod’s have used the most effective tool in moderation….. they simply ignore…. unless it gets out of hand

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by Reckless

... Good rule of thumb is if you don't have any actual experience with the Original topic, stay out of it ...

I struggle with this one on a daily basis.
How do I differentiate between “actual” and other, less valid, experience?

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by GordMay

I struggle with this one on a daily basis.
How do I differentiate between “actual” and other, less valid, experience?

Easy. You post it. and then I decide whether it is useful for me

Others may prefer the thinking done for them and their answers pre-packaged...........a lot of that about in general nowadays

[zeehag]

hi kids--all this talk of rudeness---not resolved yet--does that mean i was rude?/ i didnt get my hand smakked so i didnt think i was out of hand/..i try to add something nice when i say something mebbe couold be taken differently than i mean to sound---i l=alredady had my hand smakked a few times, as well as the thankyou button pushed 10 times--yes i count them-they overcome the pain of hand smakking..LOL...at least these folks dont ban ye for life for disagreeing with a mods inappropriate wifee..LOL....

[Ex-Calif]

Originally Posted by theonecalledtom

I frequent this forum infrequently at times,

I think we should promote "infrequent" to a verb and we should all understand what it means.

"I infrequent this forum." should be a phrase readily understood - The conservation of words is satisfying. That's because I am a great conservationist...

Originally Posted by Reckless

Some posts yes I agree the poster was outright being rude, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. There are also some armchair cruisers that feel they know everything based on what they read in a book or magazine that I have seen pipe up. Good rule of thumb is if you don't have any actual experience with the Original topic, stay out of it.

I personally don't agree with this one. You state everyone is entitled to their opinion, as long as they don't share it if they have no first hand experience. Hmmmm...

The dialog is the key, IMHO. Out of the mouths of babes is a useful concept. Someone may post something that is inaccurate. Several things can happen.

- The collective experience of our members kicks in and the person learns something. Had they not expressed the opinion, they could continue on with their misinformation
- The conversation takes a turn into an area it may not have otherwise and everyone gets to share some experience
- Someone dogpiles on the poster and the thread gets obnoxious, rude, moderated and ultimately closed

Treat every comment as you would like your comment in person to be treated (with civility) and the forum is a happier place. Be tolerant of others lack of knowledge and don't take it personally.

We understand that the person who digs their heels in and vigorously defends an indefensible position can be very frustrating to deal with.

My favorite phrase at that point is "OK. I respect your opinion. Let's agree to disagree."

I am not harmed, my position is unchanged and if I am right there are probably others that agree with me. If one person is going to insist on running around with incorrect information who am I to save them? I can't save everyone (anyone?) from themself. Why lose sleep?

The argument for pursuing these fights so vigorously that we see most often in the back room is, "Well it's ridiculous that CF should allow incorrect information to remain in the thread. You (moderators) must remove the incorrect posts!"

There is incorrect information all over the internet. The moderators are not the arbiters of truth. If our small (very small) amount of collective wisdom was (mis)used by us trying to be the champions of truth, you guys would string us up and we would have pretty bad reputations for not allowing open dialog.

So we allow untruth - even when we see it. We just don't allow anyone to be mean to each other if we can help it.

The discerning reader can pretty much pick the truth out of most threads and that's pretty much how it works.

Originally Posted by ROBERT G

Every "community," online or otherwise, develops a culture. People who don't take time to study that culture and become familiar with its mores / norms prior to injecting themselves, without sensitivity, into its discourse are asking for trouble.

When an intelligent human being goes to a party of strangers, do they jump in and start talking loudly about whatever they like, and then cry foul or act shocked at the responses they might get? Or do they typically assess the sitiation and culture in the room before becoming a vocal participant in the evolving discussions?

Some people visit the party, determine pretty quickly there is no intelligent life and move on to a new party - That's why we always need new members

[Tropic Cat]

Originally Posted by theonecalledtom

....
Overall its pretty civilized, except for the two hullers ....

I was thinking the same thing, only that it's you 1/2 boats who are the rude ones

[zeehag]

Originally Posted by Tropic Cat

I was thinking the same thing, only that it's you 1/2 boats who are the rude ones

lolo--i have 2 half boats--does that make me civil????

[Lodesman]

Originally Posted by GordMay

I struggle with this one on a daily basis.
How do I differentiate between “actual” and other, less valid, experience?

Sometimes it's not likely there is any firsthand experience to be had with a problem - and it is appropriate to offer suggestions or at least a chunk of grey-matter for a brainstorming session. If that does not suffice, then you can offer a money-back guarantee on your advice.

Originally Posted by Reckless

I think some of the rudeness can be attributed to words not coming across as clear in text as the poster may have intended. Often posters words are misunderstood and later corrected.
.

How serendipitous - this was on the news today: ToneCheck: Don't send the wrong message.
I don't need it - my tone is perfect; but the rest of you...

[zeehag]

i know i have been mis-read--ty gord for pointing that out to me--i try to say in easy ways--doesnt always work.

what tone?? LOL....

[FrankZ]

While the topic of this thread is rudeness that does not give people the right to take shots at each other, or then number of hulls their boats have.

Thank you.