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Old 01-03-2016, 21:27   #1
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What does your family think of you?

Hey all, I'm just curious if what I've been getting lately strikes a chord with anyone else. I keep getting the feeling that everyone I know, mostly family, really doesn't understand my desire to own a sailboat or even go sailing for that matter.

Someone even jokingly said a little earlier today "You're not a trust-fund baby or anything." Of course it was a heckle'ish conversation, but I feel like jokes are oftentimes a way for people to communicate their inner thoughts about a particular topic with ease.

I feel like it's me versus the deep-set grain of my family and the very culture I grew up in, (Landlocked Midwest).

Anyone else get this type of response from their families? Maybe even their own spouse?

I find it hard just to get my family interested in spending a day or two on the water in the Caribbean.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very strongwilled and will be sailing long-term within the next few years whatever the cost, but it certainly makes me feel like an outcast sometimes.
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Old 01-03-2016, 22:04   #2
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Re: What does your family think of you?

Well, there is a reason that all of your relatives, friends, etc. live far away from the water (big water). So may be that's it. Move to the either coast, get new friends and you may even find some of them sailing themselves.

PS I have never in my life lived more than 15min drive from the salt water. Right after finishing grad school had a chance for a big career and money move but it was in the Midwest so I had to pass it up as I just did not see myself ever being away from the ocean for other than some short travel.

PPS Had to buy a boat since I can't afford a waterfront property where I live.
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Old 01-03-2016, 22:09   #3
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Re: What does your family think of you?

Haha. We were 71 when we got our 1st boat having never done any sailing before. My sanity was doubted. Now 75 we have crossed the Tasman Sea twice with sailor friends(through gales galore) and our children take pride in telling friends what their parents are doing.
No worries mate but there is a massive learning curve.
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Old 01-03-2016, 22:25   #4
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Re: What does your family think of you?

I am from the other end of the spectrum. My family have been owned by boats at least since my grandfather started the tradition almost sixty years ago. Even my wife has become an addict. She preassured me into buying the A-Cat.

All I can suggest is to try and share your love of being on the water. It took my wife a few years to get hooked, but now is almost as bad as me.
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Old 01-03-2016, 22:35   #5
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Re: What does your family think of you?

Maybe it's that silly hat you're wearing. Get a Tilley and then you'll look like a sailor. :-)


Hey really, it's not for everybody. Sailing is no different than camping, fishing, car racing, or whatever. People have different interests.


Hopefully you have a spouse or partner who's willing to humor you and go along for the ride. If you do, be sure to include and allow for your partner's interests.


For example: My wife is good crew but she's not "into" sailing the boat. She loves the sunsets, visiting new harbors, enjoys using the galley, and enjoys the simplified life aboard and being closer to the wind/water. But she really wants to get off the boat after 6 hours and after 12 hours underway her natural good nature starts to wear thin, so I make sure to accommodate her whenever possible.

To sum it up, she goes along with me, and I go along with her. It works. Hopefully you'll figure out what works best for you.
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Old 01-03-2016, 22:37   #6
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Re: What does your family think of you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PlumKrazy View Post
Hey all, I'm just curious if what I've been getting lately strikes a chord with anyone else. I keep getting the feeling that everyone I know, mostly family, really doesn't understand my desire to own a sailboat or even go sailing for that matter.

Someone even jokingly said a little earlier today "You're not a trust-fund baby or anything." Of course it was a heckle'ish conversation, but I feel like jokes are oftentimes a way for people to communicate their inner thoughts about a particular topic with ease.

I feel like it's me versus the deep-set grain of my family and the very culture I grew up in, (Landlocked Midwest).

Anyone else get this type of response from their families? Maybe even their own spouse?

I find it hard just to get my family interested in spending a day or two on the water in the Caribbean.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very strongwilled and will be sailing long-term within the next few years whatever the cost, but it certainly makes me feel like an outcast sometimes.
If you throw a crab in a bucket the crab will eventually get a leg over the edge and escape.

Throw a bunch of crabs in a bucket and when one tries to escape the rest will hold them back not allowing them to escape.

The same thing goes for primates, years ago Scientists put a bunch of monkeys in a room, in the room there was a pole with banana's at the top.

When ever a monkey would climb the pole to get the banana's they were sprayed off the pole with a fire hose.

Eventually no monkey's would go for the banana's because they saw them to be unobtainable.

The next thing the scientists did was to remove the first monkey and replace them with another monkey that had never seen the fire hose, when this monkey went to climb the pole the rest of the monkeys stopped them from doing so.

One by one all of the monkey's were replaced until there was not a single monkey left that had been sprayed by the hose.

Yet even though none had witnessed the hose they would not let any new monkey attempt to climb the pole.

Think about that for a few minutes.
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Old 02-03-2016, 00:13   #7
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Re: What does your family think of you?

The next time you have a family gathering call their attention and make a speech along the lines of:


"You mongrels have lived high on the hog by turning me into a slave but I've had enough of it. The rest of my life is my own to do what I want with it and I'm going sailing"


None of mine talk to me anymore but I have been sailing full time since 2002 and really enjoying it.
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Old 02-03-2016, 13:17   #8
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Re: What does your family think of you?

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The next time you have a family gathering call their attention and make a speech along the lines of:


"You mongrels have lived high on the hog by turning me into a slave but I've had enough of it. The rest of my life is my own to do what I want with it and I'm going sailing"


None of mine talk to me anymore but I have been sailing full time since 2002 and really enjoying it.
Lol, this might actually work. I'm already on the outskirts of most family business that goes down, would give me even more incentive to get some new friends and go sailing, as previously suggested.
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Old 02-03-2016, 13:29   #9
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Re: What does your family think of you?

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Originally Posted by PlumKrazy View Post
Hey all, I'm just curious if what I've been getting lately strikes a chord with anyone else. I keep getting the feeling that everyone I know, mostly family, really doesn't understand my desire to own a sailboat or even go sailing for that matter.
Try getting rid of all your stuff to live on a sailboat ... NOBODY in my circle of friends and nobody in my family 'gets' it -- with the exception of my brother, who'll be moving on his boat next year.

My mom doesn't know exactly where she went wrong, having both her kids living on boats. Luckily, she has a very supportive family

I grew up on boats - I was a few weeks old, if that, when I went on my first 'day of boating'. My father was the boat person in the family - the one and only, for some reason. As he made a more then decent living, and provided well for his family (nice house, nice cars, all that jazz), nobody really cared much about having a boat as well. Once a year, if that, we'd take his sisters out on the boat. Most of them enjoyed that, but only for a day and only when the weather was pretty darn good

My mother .. saying she never liked being on boats is an understatement. One of the main reasons they ended up divorced, methinks.

Since my brother and I grew up on boats (24' - 65', motor and sail, plastic, steel -- my father owned a lot of different boats throughout the years) we are "boat people" tho he has no love for sailboats or sailing; he prefers motorboats. Which is kinda cool, cos between us, we have the best of both worlds My dad was a sailor at heart, but he was happy as can be on his motorboats as well (and they were slightly less of an issue with my mother).

His friends don't understand his wanting to live on his boat either, but their reaction is more like "ohhhh - okay, if that's what you want" - they shrug and that's pretty much it. They've all been on his boat and enjoying being on the water. Living on a boat is kinda weird to them, but enjoying summer on the water, they found that very easy to understand.
I have seen exactly one of my friends since moving on the boat - none of them want to come and visit on a boat. ("No, I'd rather you come to see me, at home, since I have an actual house ...")
I have since made new friends
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Old 02-03-2016, 13:32   #10
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pirate Re: What does your family think of you?

I went to sea to escape mine.. have not a clue what they think and care even less..:whistling:
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Old 02-03-2016, 13:34   #11
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Re: What does your family think of you?

Ah ha! At last, kindred spirits. Thanks for sharing Lizzy and Boatman.

I knew there had to be others out there.
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Old 02-03-2016, 13:44   #12
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Re: What does your family think of you?

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I knew there had to be others out there.
Plenty, I'd say.

Maybe not so many who keep living "a normal life" and have a boat for the weekends and such (correct me if I'm wrong, just my personal experience), but many, many people amongst the liveaboards and cruisers have dealt with a lack of understanding from ... well, usually pretty much everybody around them
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Old 02-03-2016, 13:45   #13
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Re: What does your family think of you?

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I feel like it's me versus the deep-set grain of my family and the very culture I grew up in, (Landlocked Midwest).
Would these be the very same people who keep voting against their own best interests?
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Old 02-03-2016, 13:47   #14
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Re: What does your family think of you?

Your problem was starting out with sailing. You have to develop and get involved in more insane schemes first, then when you bring up sailing everybody thinks your stepping back from the edge.

Once when I lived in Mexico and was going to take a trip back to San Diego for a weekend I jokingly posted on Facebook that I had hired a coyote to smuggle me back. When an aunt and a cousin seriously said to make sure I bring plenty of water I realized I had a bad reputation for wild ideas. lol.
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Old 02-03-2016, 13:49   #15
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Re: What does your family think of you?

My family totally gets it. I have owned sailboats for the last 35 years. Having always been sort of wild and free, being a sailor just sort of fits.
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