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Old 19-12-2013, 14:55   #1
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U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

U.S. CONFIRMS EXISTENCE OF MERMAIDS | Weekly World News

It's gotta be true I read it on The Weekly World News!!
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Old 19-12-2013, 15:04   #2
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Re: U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

“at least 65 mermaid researchers and experts gathered on the island of Tahiti to examine all the known evidence and have concluded, emphatically, that half human half-fish hybrids are living peacefully among us."

sounds a little fishy
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Old 19-12-2013, 15:12   #3
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Re: U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sailorboy1 View Post
“at least 65 mermaid researchers and experts gathered on the island of Tahiti to examine all the known evidence and have concluded, emphatically, that half human half-fish hybrids are living peacefully among us."
Wish I was at that party.
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Old 19-12-2013, 15:26   #4
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Re: U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

Excerpt


Quote:
Mermaid experts say that the majority of mermaids are in the warmer waters of the Caribbean and the Mediterranean, but that many have been spotted in the Pacific Ocean and Southern Atlantic. ”There is a large school of mermaids, swimming just outside Ocean City Maryland,” said mermaidologist, Marcus Plumkin, of the University of Florida.
Maryland, what so great about Maryland?
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Old 19-12-2013, 15:35   #5
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Re: U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

It gets better, a paper written by the uh er prestigious Gomez, Rhett, and Perry
It reads:
"Hello and good day to all of you.
For all of you out there who aspire a mermaid look no further; after years of study and research this method has been scientificaly proven to transform you into a real live mermaid. Ive tried all the spells and potions out there and believe me, none of them are as effective as this.
My collegues and ecstatic about this thrilling new break through in mermaidology, the understanding of DNA and the coorolation between fish and humans.
Ok, enough talk! I bet you’re all wondering how you can use this miracle in genetic science to change yourself into the mermaid of your dreams!!!
step 1: Make sure there is no one around because people who arent believers might be extremely shocked at the transformation. Also, it could be hazordous to their health.
step 2: Fill a bathtub full of ice so that the lower half of your body is completely submerged.
step 3: Place any sort of fish (dead or alive) within an arms length of your legs. It doesnt matter what type of fish, canned tuna has been proven to work just as well as any other type of fish. The type of fish has no impact on the tail you will eventually have.
step 4: Place a scented candle or strong scented marker close to the tub and inhale deepy for about 5 minutes but remain in the tub for 10.
step 5: Remove yourself and the fish from the tub. You must sleep within an hour of doing this and remember to keep the fish within an arms length of your body while asleep.
NOTE: Transformation will NOT happen immediatly; It may take up to a week for you to fully transform.
SCIENTIFIC EXPLINATION: exposing your legs to cold isolates the DNA in you and the fish making it easier to bond and manipulate durring the transformation. The marker or candle contains a recently discovered chemical compound known as tryptophan wich acts as the catalyst in jump starting the reaction between your DNA and the fish’s. This process causes a specific chromosonal gene in the fish wich has been scientifically proven to be the link between marine life and humans to bond with your most promonate genes; thus starting the transformation.

The official draft of this document will be published shortly; all rights and research related to this document are resereved by the JBSE institution for marine ecology and science.

publishers:
R.B Gomez
Simon M. Rhett
Jasper R. Perry"

I think the key to transformation is the magic markers, get the big fat ones with lots of sniffing ability .

Sorry, I'm bored, in bed sick today.
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Old 19-12-2013, 16:46   #6
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Re: U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

Does this mean my Wife won't get seasick anymore?

Does it work if I tie her into the tub and bonk her on the head to go to sleep?

Really, I'm desperate!
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Old 19-12-2013, 17:17   #7
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Re: U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

Yes, ginger scented candles and markers, have her sniff away. I suggest a live angel fish, as I bet she is an angel when she isn't sick( live DNA is always better). No need to bonk her on the head, that's what the markers are for. A few mushrooms in her tea may help too( for the mermaid transformation)

**
Seriously, she does hit the ginger hard right? Has she tried medicinal marijuanna? My girlfriend used it for seasickness and it worked wonders. Also can get a script for zofran to help with the nausea.
**

Anyways, back to unreality...
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Old 19-12-2013, 18:42   #8
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Re: U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

Now I am wondering why the mermaid in the original drawing looks like old pictures of OG. Maybe she has the inside scoop on this. Rain Dog - you willing to validate???
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Old 19-12-2013, 18:50   #9
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Re: U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

I think it would be safest for me if I keep my mouth shut.
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Old 19-12-2013, 19:06   #10
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Re: U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

At least tell us what type of fish she kept within arms lenght for weeks! Pheww!
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Old 19-12-2013, 19:13   #11
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Re: U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

Hopefully they all look like Daryl Hannah...
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Old 19-12-2013, 21:54   #12
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Re: U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

Newt, my hubby knows what would happen to him if he revealed any secrets.

As far as Daryl Hannah, there are all types of mermaids, I'm no mermaidologist, but i believe they come in all shapes and sizes, though always look about 24ish .

Here we have Native American... Her tribe lives right off the Maryland coast
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Old 19-12-2013, 22:06   #13
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I think I must have dated some mermaids judging by the .. oh nm......
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Old 20-12-2013, 02:38   #14
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If you belive in mermaids then you are a bunch oh fools. I'm out of here I need to feed and exercise my unicorn.
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Old 20-12-2013, 03:14   #15
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Re: U.S. Confirms The Existence Of Mermaids!!

Here ya go........

http://youtu.be/K9925QdV6EIhttp://
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