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Old 05-12-2012, 08:19   #61
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

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It is not worth it having regrets on your death bed. Think of something you liked about life, relive the best moments, talk to loved ones if you can, look out the window, watch a movie you always wanted to see. The past is gone. Why worry about it? Does you no good.
When you are on your death bed, there is nothing, nothing...except the past. Nostalgia is a powerful stress reliever.
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:52   #62
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

Sorry for your loss, Tellie. May he rest in peace.
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Old 05-12-2012, 09:25   #63
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

I think some people really do work too much, but i wouldn't want to confuse that regret with working and raising a family. Do I enjoy my job all the time, no. But part of the human experience for most is raising a family, and that entails work. When I went to the Peace Corps in my early 20s, one of my goals was to decide what being a man meant. It came to me about a year while walking down the dirt road like a shot: caring about something/one more than yourself. To become a man, I had to stop being a boy and dedicate myself to something greater, which meant sacrifice of short term pleasures. My goal is to have my cake and eat it too. Lots of adventures when I was young, raise a family/successful career, then return with my wife to a life of adventure on a boat when the kids leave.

As an atheist, I think daily about the fact that this is the only life I will have and assess whether this is the correct course given my short time here. Work is a means to an ends, not an end in itself. I suspect those who regret work mixed that up.
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Old 05-12-2012, 09:55   #64
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

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As an atheist, I think daily about the fact that this is the only life I will have and assess whether this is the correct course given my short time here. Work is a means to an ends, not an end in itself. I suspect those who regret work mixed that up.
You don't have to be an atheist to know we only get one shot at this.
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Old 05-12-2012, 10:08   #65
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You don't have to be an atheist to know we only get one shot at this.
Can anyone build a house in one day? No

Google a Asian 4 year old playing the piano.



Explain this in reference to only getting one shot at this? There is a general consciousness that some of us tap into, and some of us never do, by choice. Not to confuse this with Tammy Fae Baker style religion we have delt with for thousands of years. I cannot tell you how to find that general consciousness, but you and I both know how not to find it.
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Old 05-12-2012, 14:06   #66
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

Tellie,

Sorry for your loss. I lost a dear, older friend a few years, who loved his Allied Princess ketch.
At his viewing, someone had put a small model sailboat on his chest, with the sails sheeted in hard.
I turned them wing 'n wing, and told friends, no more beating to windward for him, he's on a flow now.
I still smile when I visualize that scene.
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Old 05-12-2012, 14:49   #67
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

Tellie, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. *big hug* I lost mine 7 years ago. He was a naval aviator in WWII and flew B-24s. He was a great guy and one we all (the family) could depend on, but he never let his feelings show. I guess that was how guys were of that era.

My only regret...oh heck, I have no regrets. Yesterday is a turned page. No sense remembering the past. Time to move forward and forget the past.
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Old 05-12-2012, 15:14   #68
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

After my divorce I fulfilled a lifelong dream to lean to fly.

I got my private pilot's licence, then started to learn on a Bell-47G.

My instructor told me I'd be better off spending my money in Bubbles bathhouse.

He was Right.
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Old 05-12-2012, 15:18   #69
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

Wow, a very difficult subject! Let me start by addressing a few of the members who have made thoughtful posts on this thread:

1. Tellie - So sorry for your (and it sounds like this planet's) loss.
2. Shorebird - Good luck with your surgery, mate!
3. Rebelheart - kudos to you and your grandmother. I suspect that she would be very proud of you!

Top 5 regrets when dying? Unlike others here, I cannot possibly suggest that I have no regrets in life. Heck, rare is the week when I do not have some regrets. It may be that I was a bit short with someone who did not deserve it, it may be that I didn't have (or didn't find) the time to do something that I really should have made a priority. It may be a boat repair that I should not have undertaken myself!

When I am on my deathbed, will I be preoccupied with these regrets - the trivial and the not so trivial? I certainly hope not. I hope that I can go out with the dignity and strength of my late wife Sheila, who succumbed at home after a 10 year battle with breast cancer. She had been dealt many a bad hand throughout her life - her mother died of breast cancer when she was only 6 years old and her father became a terrible alcoholic who lost the family farm when she was 8. She lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with 4 other siblings, but through hard work and perserverance ended up becoming an incredibly accomplished lawyer who was fluent in three languages.

After her inital diagnosis, she continued to work during chemotherapy, radiation therapy and once released from hospital, various other surgeries. She was an incredible step-mother to my son. She was a wonderful and loving wife. And she never gave up the fight.

Through the entire course of her disease I saw her cry only once. Even in her last days she was still hopeful of beating the disease through some miracle and was able to laugh with others; this in spite of the fact that she was in incredible pain and had been iincapacitated from brain mets, liver mets, mets in her peritoneum and finally her cerebral spinal fluid.

In her last day she slipped into a coma and, as the hours passed and her lungs filled with fluid, struggled to breath. In the seconds before her death, when she was no longer able to breath, a single tear rolled down her cheek. I am quite confident that it was not from self-pity or the wish that she could have done things differently during the course of her life. Rather, I believe it was regret that, in spite of the pain and discomfort, her battle was over and that she could not continue with her life for even a few more days or hours.

I'd like to think that she has forever inspired me to be a better and stronger person than I would otherwise be in my final moments, whenever they may come. To be stronger than the pain and to be able to enjoy and value every breathing moment that I get to spend with family and friends on this sometimes wonderful planet. Like Sheila, in my final moments I hope to have only one regret - that my life cannot go on.

Brad
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Old 05-12-2012, 15:21   #70
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

I haven't spent enough time in the office </s>
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Old 05-12-2012, 15:38   #71
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

Regret #6:- Some of the people I loaned money to who guaranteed me would pay it back really soon.
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Old 05-12-2012, 17:39   #72
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pirate Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

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I've made all those mistakes and keep making mistakes, hopefully less than when I was younger. But all thos mistakes were part of the making of me. Yes in retrospect I would change them, but I can't regret them. I've done what I can, or what I have wanted to be able to do. So I'm very lucky. And I hope I keep being lucky for many years.
Gotcha. I've always gone with my gut and f***all. Guess I feel a little guilty about it. Just a couple of weeks ago I spent some time with my two surviving children who are in the northern Midwest. They are 25 and 21. For the first time they seemed to "get me". Boy have I been waiting for that. Now I'm free. And thanks to OP of this cartoon:
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Old 05-12-2012, 18:06   #73
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

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So you are kinda say that risk takers (us) would not hang around in palliative care waiting to die, we would die at home, or hopefully, on board?

My mum is in a nursing home and I have already made the decision I will die in a tent in some national park of starvation beause i am too old to get to the shop before I die in one of those places.
MarkJ--it is good to be hearing (reading) from you again! My mother too is in a nursing home. About the only thing I know for a fact at this point in my life is
I never want to be in a nursing home.

As far as your plan to die of starvation in a tent... Let's talk about that.
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Old 05-12-2012, 18:28   #74
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

saw this in a cruising mag 30+ yrs ago and never forgot it. Thought it might be appropriate here.

On an ancient wall in China
a brooding Buddha blinks
graven is the message
"it's later than you think"

The hands of time are wound just once
and no man has the power
to tell just when the hands will stop
at late or early hour

Now is all the time you have
the past a golden link
GO CRUISING NOW MY BROTHER
IT'S LATER THAN YOU THINK
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Old 05-12-2012, 18:32   #75
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

My goal is to become a hazard to navigation.
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I'm fighting currents to get back to you, listening to the flow of your liquid language as you beckon me, "Come Play"
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