Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

[Doodles]

Originally Posted by rebel heart

Sorry man.

You can't ever be ready for your dad dying.

Amen. Sorry for your loss Telli. Lost mine 1/1/11.

[Celestialsailor]

Originally Posted by Tellie

My father died this morning at 0226 at home in hospice care. He worked hard all his life to give me a better opportunity to live and enjoy my life to a fuller extent. He never regretted it at all. I was blessed with a father whose personal dreams took a back seat to mine. I pray for two things, one that I will always take full advantage of what he gave me and two that my daughter will feel somewhat the same when my time finally comes. Dad, thank you for all you've given me and rest in peace

Peace be yours

[avb3]

Originally Posted by Tellie

My father died this morning at 0226 at home in hospice care. He worked hard all his life to give me a better opportunity to live and enjoy my life to a fuller extent. He never regretted it at all. I was blessed with a father whose personal dreams took a back seat to mine. I pray for two things, one that I will always take full advantage of what he gave me and two that my daughter will feel somewhat the same when my time finally comes. Dad, thank you for all you've given me and rest in peace

RIP, Tellie. Those of us who have lost a parent understand.

When my mother passed away, I realized that now I am the older generation. Until that time, no matter what, one could always ask for advice, or discuss a situation. Now my kids, kid-in-laws and grandkids give me that honor.

[olaf hart]

You don't really know what alone means till your parents pass on.

[Doodles]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely
in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting...…man, what a ride!’ George Carlin

No regrets.

Actually, that quote was by Hunter S. Thompson.

[virginia boy]

While Ive never been confronted with the specter of certain death, five years ago, I found myself laying on a Wash DC sidewalk desperately trying to reduce the gush of blood flowing from a stab wound to my my liver, down to a reasonable flow. Almost immediately I began to drift in and out of consciousness and began to feel fluish due to loss of blood. For a long while, I could hear no ambulance sirens that would have indicated a possible rescue and after considering the huge puddle of blood running down the sidewalk and into the gutter, considered myself as good as dead.

My first thought after being stabbed was "how embarrassing, Ive crapped my pants!"

Following that, my thoughts at the time were not the result of careful, well considered, death bed musings, so aren't directly comparable to those in the book, but they were life changing to me.

Did I have regrets? Yes. I thought of my elementary school age kids and regretted that I had put off spending time with them so often. I regretted the manner of my death and the effect on my legacy. I regretted not having saved enough for my kids schooling.

I also had a sense of rage and disappointment that I wasn't finished living yet, and was keenly aware of what a selfish bastard I'd been.

Did my epiphany cause me to change my ways? I guess to find out you'll have to read MY book when it comes out. ;-P (which will be never.)

[Blue Stocking]

I have said to my friends, ad nauseum, that I want my epitaph to be "It seemed like a good idea at the time"

[mbianka]

Originally Posted by Blue Stocking

I have said to my friends, ad nauseum, that I want my epitaph to be "It seemed like a good idea at the time"

Better than one that says his last words were: "Hey, watch this!"

[Blue Crab]

Originally Posted by Blue Stocking

I have said to my friends, ad nauseum, that I want my epitaph to be "It seemed like a good idea at the time"

Yep. I'd second that. I'm surprised that most have no regrets. Do you all have no roads not taken, decisions that turned out poorly, jobs turned down, words not spoken, people dropped behind? I sure do.

[mbianka]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

Yep. I'd second that. I'm surprised that most have no regrets. Do you all have no roads not taken, decisions that turned out poorly, jobs turned down, words not spoken, people dropped behind? I sure do.

Well there are certainly things I'd still like to do but, I don't consider them bucket list items. Though there are certain things that I thought I'd wanted to do when I was younger that don't appeal to me now. As for regrets I think it is more like relief that I did not follow certain paths in my younger years. Most involve women I was "enamored" of when I was younger. I don't think my life would have been as enjoyable had I traveled down some of those paths. Though I did take some chances in a job change that ultimately led me be in a place I never thought I be in my mid forties that was very positive. Though early on I was already pretty content with life as my high school classmates voted me happiest in my senior year and that continues in my life now.
These days I let serendipity often led the way and am often pleasantly surprised.

[MarkJ]

Hi Tellie,

Sorry to hear the bad news. It's sad as we get older the things we thought would always be there either cease, or stop being our pillar of strength.


All the best.


Mark

[Mike OReilly]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

Yep. I'd second that. I'm surprised that most have no regrets. Do you all have no roads not taken, decisions that turned out poorly, jobs turned down, words not spoken, people dropped behind? I sure do.

As I said, it's due to our propensity for self-delusion. It's no surprise most people here place their own situation as "without regret." This is exactly the kind of answers current cognitive research says you'd get.

The research shows we -- humans -- almost always rank our personal choices, experiences and outcomes as higher, better or preferable than other people. It's who we are (as a species).

I'm not saying this is bad, or good. It just is. ANd it explains why few of us will go to our death beds with great regrets. Be comforted that, whatever your choices in life, you'll likely believe you are (were) right.

P.S. My heart goes out to you Tellie. I lost my father 25 years ago, and it still hurts.

[David_Old_Jersey]

I think a difference in attitude between those whose demise is the result of a sudden(ish!) event and others whose demise comes after a long slow decline.

IMO if all your regrets are only about your own life and not about others you care about then not done half bad.

Out of choice (which in practice most folks don't get) my preference is going out on a wave of morphine - but ideally only after a week or 2!........which will generate more than enough happy feelings to smooth yer passage accross the River Styx - I wonder what anchor the ferryman has onboard?!

[MarkJ]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

I'm surprised that most have no regrets. Do you all have no roads not taken, decisions that turned out poorly, jobs turned down, words not spoken, people dropped behind? I sure do.

I've made all those mistakes and keep making mistakes, hopefully less than when I was younger. But all thos mistakes were part of the making of me. Yes in retrospect I would change them, but I can't regret them. I've done what I can, or what I have wanted to be able to do. So I'm very lucky. And I hope I keep being lucky for many years.

[mbianka]

Tellie:

Sad as it is at this time your Dad's job is over here. Now it's your job to keep on living.