The New Joke Thread

[JPA Cate]

....and, during the Nixon Administration in the US, "Nuke the Gay Whales."

[Eigenvector]

There are just too many captions to go with this one...........

[darylat8750]

Originally Posted by Adelie

DECimal is a base 10 numbering system, you count to 9 then add a digit "1" in the 10s place and the 1s place rolls back to "0"

OCTal is a base 8 numbering system: you count to 7 then add a digit "1" in the 10s place and the 1s place rolls back to "0"

OCT-DEC
01 01
02 02
03 03
04 04
05 05
06 06
07 07
10 08
11 09
12 10
13 11
14 12
15 13
16 14
17 15
20 16
21 17
22 18
23 19
24 20
25 21
26 22
27 23
30 24
31 25

Binary (Base 2[0,1]) and Hexadecimal (base 16 [1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,A,B,C,D,E,F]) are numbering systems commonly used in computing.

I tried to laugh but my head hurt too much!

[svmariane]

I just remembered an excellent joke someone told me once. Where does a mansplainer get his water?
.
.
.
From a well... actually.

(Insert drummer's rim shot here.)

[john61ct]

The statue

[D&D]

THE ITALIAN TOMATO GARDEN STORY

An elderly Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love,
Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by Adelie

DECimal is a base 10 numbering system, you count to 9 then add a digit "1" in the 10s place and the 1s place rolls back to "0"

OCTal is a base 8 numbering system: you count to 7 then add a digit "1" in the 10s place and the 1s place rolls back to "0"

OCT-DEC
01 01
02 02
03 03
04 04
05 05
06 06
07 07
10 08
11 09
12 10
13 11
14 12
15 13
16 14
17 15
20 16
21 17
22 18
23 19
24 20
25 21
26 22
27 23
30 24
31 25

Binary (Base 2[0,1]) and Hexadecimal (base 16 [1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,A,B,C,D,E,F]) are numbering systems commonly used in computing.

Wow, I just fell into a time warp for a moment! Reminds me of assembly language programming on many diferent CPUs. [emoji16]

...but, not that funny.

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by D&D

THE ITALIAN TOMATO GARDEN STORY

An elderly Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love,
Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie

Pretty clever boy that Vinnie! [emoji6]

[JPA Cate]

Just goes to show you, sometimes the government IS here to help you! ;-)


[the FBI used to be called G-for-government Men.]

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by captmikem

Ok Jim, nerd wise what is this?

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

Hmmm... I think that must be an "or" house! Should have a red light on it somewhere.

Jim

WELL, come on, Mike! Was I right or was my nerdism inadequate?

Jim

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by john61ct

The statue

OK, I can't figure out what is supposed to be funny about this. How about a hint...

[john61ct]

It is a sculpture illustrating the body language of a typical mansplaining session, as per the cartoon immediately above it.

You can almost see the eyes rolling back in her head.

https://www.thecut.com/2017/05/rando...astronaut.html

[socaldmax]

[a64pilot]

Originally Posted by john61ct

It is a sculpture illustrating the body language of a typical mansplaining session, as per the cartoon immediately above it.

You can almost see the eyes rolling back in her head.

https://www.thecut.com/2017/05/rando...astronaut.html

Several things were interesting in that story.
She would be so rich that she wouldn’t have to use Twitter anymore?
What does that mean? Am I rich because I don’t have a twitter account?
Then because she is female, she assumes that idiot corrected her because she was female, not because he was an idiot.

[captmikem]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

WELL, come on, Mike! Was I right or was my nerdism inadequate?

Jim

1et rate nerdist Jim!