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socaldmax · 02-10-2015, 21:44

I came home from work early one night to find my wife and my best mate, sweaty and breathless in the living room. I said, "What's going on?"

My wife said, "Erm... We've been playing on the Wii Fit." She winked at my mate and said, "Dave did VERY well."

As I walked out of the room, I heard them giggling and calling me stupid, but I had the last laugh. I checked the next day, and none of his scores had even registered!

**StuM** · 02-10-2015, 23:13

Two blondes are in a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the
water. A game warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and
says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first woman.

"Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the game
warden.

"But officer," replied the second girl, "we aren't fishing. All we have
are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the
bottom of the river."

The game warden lifted up the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe
magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it,"
shrugged the game warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that,
the game warden left.

As soon as he was out of sight, the women started laughing hysterically.
"What a dumb Fish Cop! Doesn't he know that there are steelheads in this
river?!"

Therapy · 03-10-2015, 13:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adelie

25. Should be 8 nickels = 2 paradigms

Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum

I learn something every day.

Many times it is what I thought I knew the day before and that is just how stupid I really am.

svmariane · 06-10-2015, 17:00

snarl.....
.
.
.

Buzzman · 06-10-2015, 18:08

A 78 yr old woman, when asked if she objected to her older husband chasing young girls replied:
"I've got a dog that chases cars. But he doesn't have a driver's license, so what's he gonna do with them if he catches them?"

**carstenb** · 06-10-2015, 20:32

George and Frank and finished a round of golf, showered and were getting dressed when George noticed Frank tugging a tiny pink thong up his thighs.

"Jesus Frank - when did you start wearing those?" George asked.

"Right after my wife found them under the seat of the car" Frank replied

K_V_B · 07-10-2015, 06:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by socaldmax

34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

They would. And if you measured the speed of the light coming out of it would be, well lightspeed...

LakeSuperior · 07-10-2015, 06:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by K_V_B

They would. And if you measured the speed of the light coming out of it would be, well lightspeed...

And a different color...

K_V_B · 07-10-2015, 06:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

And a different color...

Not to you. But to an outside observer, yes.

**carstenb** · 07-10-2015, 08:04

Actually, if you are going at the speed of light, you'll be goig at the same speed as the light being emitted from your headlights, which means it won't be emitted.

So - your headlights will not work. Although if you have a car that goes at he speed of light - having headlights is probably the least of your problems

**a64pilot** · 07-10-2015, 09:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by carstenb

Actually, if you are going at the speed of light, you'll be goig at the same speed as the light being emitted from your headlights, which means it won't be emitted.

So - your headlights will not work. Although if you have a car that goes at he speed of light - having headlights is probably the least of your problems

Yes, speed of light is a constant, and is un-achievable anyway

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LakeSuperior · 07-10-2015, 10:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by carstenb

Actually, if you are going at the speed of light, you'll be goig at the same speed as the light being emitted from your headlights, which means it won't be emitted.

So - your headlights will not work. Although if you have a car that goes at he speed of light - having headlights is probably the least of your problems

You didn't get Einstein's memo on relativity. It was some stuff on mankind's great achievement.