The New Joke Thread

[socaldmax]

Wheel of Fortune...

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Wheel of Fortune...

Luck is a "thing". Huh?

[MBWhite]

My kids are all optimists, every glass they leave sitting around the house is at least half full.

[pbmaise]

Buried in the old joke thread is a most funny exchange between members.....

http://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/...-10204-42.html

The original mistake
The square root of 12 is 4

Bravo someone caught that....yet

When the person claimed oops he meant
The cube root of 12 is 4

No one caught the new error.

That was even more wrong and more funny.

or is it funny I took the time to write this.

Wait no....that is sad.

I really need to get a life.

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by Therapy

Luck is a "thing". Huh?

What would you call it?

Luck itself isn't the answer, the entire saying is the answer. Perhaps "thing" is the closest category they have to "sayings."

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

What would you call it?

Luck itself isn't the answer, the entire saying is the answer. Perhaps "thing" is the closest category they have to "sayings."

I was thinking deep and ran aground I guess.

[justlearnin]

Have you ever drank so much that your wife's logic makes sense? Yah me neither... But I keep trying.

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by justlearnin

Have you ever drank so much that your wife's logic makes sense? Yah me neither... But I keep trying.

Had to explain to my wife why I just laughed out loud.

(Fight should begin anytime now...)

[Pelagic]

somewhat speechless!

[Therapy]

Looking for a boat expert

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Therapy

Looking for a boat expert

Sounds just like many first time posters here.

Except that this one is prepared to pay for the advise instead of expecting to get it for nothing. Good on him/her!

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by StuM

Sounds just like many first time posters here.

Except that this one is prepared to pay for the advise instead of expecting to get it for nothing. Good on him/her!

I put it up because I figured someone could use a few extra bucks in the cruising kitty.

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by Therapy

I put it up because I figured someone could use a few extra bucks in the cruising kitty.

Don't suppose I could just offer my boat as is / where is?

(grins sheepishly whilst kicking can with toe....... )

[Therapy]

Maybe a repeat but.......

On his 60th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a cure for erectile dysfunction.

When the husband went to the reservation, the old medicine man gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned 'This is a very powerful medicine.

You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: '1-2-3.'

When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."

The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, took the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked: "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by Therapy

Maybe a repeat but.......

On his 60th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a cure for erectile dysfunction.

When the husband went to the reservation, the old medicine man gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned 'This is a very powerful medicine.

You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: '1-2-3.'

When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."

The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, took the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked: "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

That's also reason # 572 to use a ball gag.