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Old 17-10-2015, 16:34   #571
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What do you have after two days of pouring rain? Monday

Stole this one from another forum, I'm sure there are some that can still relate, and some here can say "Thank God not any more!"
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Old 18-10-2015, 04:48   #572
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Wheel of Fortune...
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Old 18-10-2015, 17:25   #573
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
Wheel of Fortune...
Luck is a "thing". Huh?
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Old 18-10-2015, 18:04   #574
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Re: The New Joke Thread

My kids are all optimists, every glass they leave sitting around the house is at least half full.
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Old 19-10-2015, 09:17   #575
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Buried in the old joke thread is a most funny exchange between members.....

The Joke Thread

The original mistake
The square root of 12 is 4

Bravo someone caught that....yet

When the person claimed oops he meant
The cube root of 12 is 4

No one caught the new error.

That was even more wrong and more funny.

or is it funny I took the time to write this.

Wait no....that is sad.

I really need to get a life.
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Old 19-10-2015, 13:14   #576
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
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Luck is a "thing". Huh?
What would you call it?

Luck itself isn't the answer, the entire saying is the answer. Perhaps "thing" is the closest category they have to "sayings."
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Old 19-10-2015, 13:36   #577
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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What would you call it?

Luck itself isn't the answer, the entire saying is the answer. Perhaps "thing" is the closest category they have to "sayings."
I was thinking deep and ran aground I guess.
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Old 20-10-2015, 01:25   #578
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Have you ever drank so much that your wife's logic makes sense? Yah me neither... But I keep trying.
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Old 20-10-2015, 17:02   #579
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Have you ever drank so much that your wife's logic makes sense? Yah me neither... But I keep trying.
Had to explain to my wife why I just laughed out loud.

(Fight should begin anytime now...)
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Old 21-10-2015, 21:01   #580
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Re: The New Joke Thread

somewhat speechless!
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Old 22-10-2015, 08:23   #581
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Looking for a boat expert
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Old 22-10-2015, 16:00   #582
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Sounds just like many first time posters here.

Except that this one is prepared to pay for the advise instead of expecting to get it for nothing. Good on him/her!
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Old 22-10-2015, 18:21   #583
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Sounds just like many first time posters here.

Except that this one is prepared to pay for the advise instead of expecting to get it for nothing. Good on him/her!
I put it up because I figured someone could use a few extra bucks in the cruising kitty.
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Old 23-10-2015, 01:02   #584
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I put it up because I figured someone could use a few extra bucks in the cruising kitty.
Don't suppose I could just offer my boat as is / where is?

(grins sheepishly whilst kicking can with toe....... )
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Old 23-10-2015, 15:58   #585
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Maybe a repeat but.......

On his 60th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a cure for erectile dysfunction.

When the husband went to the reservation, the old medicine man gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned 'This is a very powerful medicine.

You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: '1-2-3.'

When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."

The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, took the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked: "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
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