The New Joke Thread

[socaldmax]

Tarpon fishing in FL...

[Buzzman]

Just reading up on some stuff and came across:

"Bircherism"


Apparently, a global conspiracy to get us all eating muesli....

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[LakeSuperior]

A bee keeper walks into a pet store. He asked the person at the counter for 12 bees. After paying and walking out the store, he notices that he's been given 13 bees by accident.

He walks back in and says “there has been an accident, and you’ve given me 13 bees.”

The Shopkeeper says "No mistake sir, the extra one is a freebie!"

[LakeSuperior]

Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers, is that true?

Husband; To be honest, I had no idea she sold flowers.

[LakeSuperior]

What do you call an alligator with GPS?

A navi-gator.

[LakeSuperior]

I called in a psychic radio show while I was taking a ride in a hot air balloon.

Psychic: Go ahead caller, you’re on the air.

Me: Holy ****, how did you know??

[LakeSuperior]

David Hasselhoff walked into a bar and ordered a drink. "It’s a pleasure to serve you Mr Hasselhoff,” said the bartender.

“Just call me Hoff,” he replied.

“Sure,” said the bartender. “No hassle.”

[delmarrey]

The stork is now obsolete ........


A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
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.
.
.
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You’ve got Male!

[delmarrey]

To be continued.........

[delmarrey]

And again................

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[delmarrey]

Just a piece of the pie........


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[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by ontherocks83

We do have great coffee, however Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks definitely ain't it. There are several smaller roasters that aren't as easily accessible but make amazing coffee.

Don't forget though, the tradition of coffee in America started when we threw the Brits out and it was then seen as unpatriotic to drink tea. Especially after we threw it all in Boston Harbor

Sorry guys, but if I need caffeine I just take an Excedrin - Extra Strength.
You’ll understand when you get older.....

[Dave_S]

Something