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14-06-2019, 22:55
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#5656
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: New South Wales, Australia
Boat: Still building
Posts: 1,557
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Re: The New Joke Thread
In other words, it's like having sex in a canoe....
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F***ing close to water....
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15-06-2019, 07:43
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#5657
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cruiser
Join Date: Jan 2017
Boat: Retired from CF
Posts: 13,317
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Re: The New Joke Thread
I remember an Australia where once an hour outside the capital cities the **only** coffee you could get was Nescafe.
Describing the process of making real coffee (like grinding up the beans?) would get you stared at open-jawed as if you'd just arrived from Mars.
Until you found a town with greek or italian, maybe yugoslav immigrants, Coober Pedy the underground motel had real coffee. . .
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15-06-2019, 08:03
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#5658
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Miami Florida
Boat: Ellis Flybridge 28
Posts: 4,057
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzman
Well, for a start, it wouldn't be an 'Australian bar' as we don't refer to sweets as "candy" - that is a purely North American term.
Here it's known as a 'chocolate bar'.
Perhaps, walking into a bar with a Mel-Gibson-iconic-mariner-film on his head?
Nah. Doesn't work, does it...??
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I think I might like Australians, if only we spoke the same language.
__________________
Retired from Hopkins-Carter Marine Supplies
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15-06-2019, 10:27
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#5659
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 832
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Best hospital sign ever
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15-06-2019, 11:58
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#5660
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2017
Boat: Lagoon 400S2
Posts: 3,755
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by HopCar
I think I might like Australians, if only we spoke the same language.
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https://youtu.be/upnrXooMh4s
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15-06-2019, 12:43
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#5661
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,829
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Ref one of the comments above.
We're reaching the point where we need to relocate for health reasons with my wife. Options?
USA, since I'm an American citizen.
Austria, since that's where we both maintain legal residency.
Bavaria, since my wife is a German citizen.
Discussions went back and forth. Decent medical care vs costs of same. Quality of life. Cost of living. Political climate. Climate climate. etc..
Then my wife played the trump card. (Not THAT trump.)
Bavaria has the best beer. And it's served in decent sized mugs.
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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15-06-2019, 12:49
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#5662
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Is that what the Dr. prescribed?
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15-06-2019, 12:58
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#5663
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,829
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Imagine retiring in Bavaria.
(Notice all the fresh fruits and vegetables? Dr. prescribed.)
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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16-06-2019, 08:30
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#5664
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
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16-06-2019, 08:32
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#5665
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
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16-06-2019, 18:09
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#5666
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: New South Wales, Australia
Boat: Still building
Posts: 1,557
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by HopCar
I think I might like Australians, if only we spoke the same language.
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Yeah, likewise. You guys DO talk funny....!?!
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16-06-2019, 19:54
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#5667
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: New England. USA.
Boat: McCurdy & Rhodes Custom 46
Posts: 1,474
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Re: The New Joke Thread
I was eating breakfast at a hole in the wall in the middle of the Nevada desert. With my travel buddy who was from Germany. One customer to another. “I met this couple from New Zealand.” And they were really nice!” And they spoke really good English!”
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16-06-2019, 20:23
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#5668
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Sea of Cortez/northern Utah/ Wisconsin/ La Paz, BCS
Boat: Hans Christian 38 Mk II
Posts: 948
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzman
...and for the record, a 'chocolate bar' is neither an erect black penis, nor is it an establishment that serves chocolate beverages.
For some reason, that is called a 'coffee shop'....
Go figure.
Must work though, as apparently "Aussie coffee shops" are a 'thing' in New York and such places.
Although, to be fair, that might have something to do with that brown-coloured beverage Americans call 'coffee' which, to a European or Australian, accustomed to espresso, is about as close to coffee as the pale, insipid liquid Americans refer to as 'beer' is to that product.
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You sent us Foster's and you have the gall to complain about our beer?
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16-06-2019, 20:28
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#5669
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Sydney Australia
Boat: Fisher pilothouse sloop 32'
Posts: 3,416
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Re: The New Joke Thread
__________________
Rob aka Uncle Bob Sydney Australia.
Life is 10% the cards you are dealt, 90% how you play em
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16-06-2019, 20:51
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#5670
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: New South Wales, Australia
Boat: Still building
Posts: 1,557
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by AndyEss
You sent us Foster's and you have the gall to complain about our beer?
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Mate, there's a reason they had to export it.....
So if you were silly enough to drink it, just remember that only a few 'Mexicans' ever drank it over here!
[Mexicans, in this context, being Victorians from the perspective of a New South Welshman - they being from 'south of the border']
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