The New Joke Thread

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

Ah, the miracle of compound interest

I know you know math well.
I was using only 1 million over 30 years.
At 3........like...........?????

[0urh]

To understand compound interest use the Rule of 72. This formula is useful for financial estimates and understanding the nature of compound interest. ... At 6% interest, your money takes 72/6 or 12 years to double. To double your money in 10 years, get an interest rate of 72/10 or 7.2%.

As this is the joke thread.............

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.

He hears a priest come in: "Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".

The priest replies,"Get out you idiot. You're on my side".

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by 0urh

To understand compound interest use the Rule of 72. This formula is useful for financial estimates and understanding the nature of compound interest. ... At 6% interest, your money takes 72/6 or 12 years to double. To double your money in 10 years, get an interest rate of 72/10 or 7.2%.

As this is the joke thread.............

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.

He hears a priest come in: "Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".

The priest replies,"Get out you idiot. You're on my side".

That is a great one.
But I want to know how many $20 bills the guy gave per week for 30 years.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Therapy

That is a great one.
But I want to know how many $20 bills the guy gave per week for 30 years.

Since the wife had a further 2 million derived from periodically investing the money placed initially in that account, she must have been periodically withdrawing the balance to invest. IOW, it's reasonable to assume little or no compounding interest.

So it comes down to just $1 million deposited over those 30 years (1,565 weeks) so about $640 per week or 32 nookies per week. I suspect she may have had a few other customers herself at that rate .

[PhiSig1071]

Originally Posted by StuM

Since the wife had a further 2 million derived from periodically investing the money placed initially in that account, she must have been periodically withdrawing the balance to invest. IOW, it's reasonable to assume little or no compounding interest.

So it comes down to just $1 million deposited over those 30 years (1,565 weeks) so about $640 per week or 32 nookies per week. I suspect she may have had a few other customers herself at that rate .

I don't know, retire with an extra $3mil in the bank? Might be worth sharing.......

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by StuM

Since the wife had a further 2 million derived from periodically investing the money placed initially in that account, she must have been periodically withdrawing the balance to invest. IOW, it's reasonable to assume little or no compounding interest.

So it comes down to just $1 million deposited over those 30 years (1,565 weeks) so about $640 per week or 32 nookies per week. I suspect she may have had a few other customers herself at that rate .

yep that's 4 times per day with an additional 4 times on sundays - not much time in there to go to church

[Hoosiersailor]

Originally Posted by StuM

So it comes down to just $1 million deposited over those 30 years (1,565 weeks) so about $640 per week or 32 nookies per week. I suspect she may have had a few other customers herself at that rate .

And he was getting it on the side too? Wow...that was an active couple...

""If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot him. You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut."

[Fiveslide]

Originally Posted by Therapy

I'm stuck on the math.
Is it like 138 times a month the two had sex?
Not even sure I could do that. At my best I mean.

There was a time in my early 20's that I had sex at least three times per day. It was an exhausting time in my life, it not only took physical stamina beyond what most are capable of, but the restraint it took not to say something that would infuriate her was thoroughly draining on the mind.

My God, man, it was a grueling two days.

[BandB]

Originally Posted by StuM

So it comes down to just $1 million deposited over those 30 years (1,565 weeks) so about $640 per week or 32 nookies per week. I suspect she may have had a few other customers herself at that rate .

Wifey B: So, does anyone really believe Wilt Chamberlain or Ric Flair? Wilt said 20,000 women at the age of 55, so about 500 a year, 1.4 per day. 500 different women a year and never repeating any of them? Ric Flair only claims 10,000 different women.

[john61ct]

I won't get into specifics, but when you're in a position where "transactional encounters" are as readily available as a cup of coffee, especially when many partners per session is common, you are devoting a lot of your time and energy to such pursuits, and you prefer never to dally with the same people more than once, then thousands of unique partners per year is easily achievable, even for those of us that aren't world class athletes.

Of course I'm not saying such ambitions are in any way conducive to real happiness or spiritual peace of mind. . .

[D&D]

Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven, Sir.

Teacher: No, listen carefully...
If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven, Sir.

Teacher: Let me put it to you differently.
If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many would you have?
Johnny: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
Johnny: Seven!!! SIR!

A very angry Teacher: Where in the hell do you get seven from?!?!?

A very angry Johnny: Because,.... I've already got a f*****g cat!!!

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by BandB

Wifey B: So, does anyone really believe Wilt Chamberlain or Ric Flair? Wilt said 20,000 women at the age of 55, so about 500 a year, 1.4 per day. 500 different women a year and never repeating any of them? Ric Flair only claims 10,000 different women.

You are of course assuming 'only one at a time'
Sorry, couldn't resist [emoji4]

[a64pilot]

Originally Posted by BandB

Wifey B: So, does anyone really believe Wilt Chamberlain or Ric Flair? :

No, and that kind of bragging in my opinion points to a serious personality defect.
In my opinion of course

[silversailor]

Did you hear that Harvey Weinstein was was charged criminally with 12 counts of................................................ .................
(skip down)








BEING PRESIDENTIAL!

[Pelagic]

While this is a joke thread and current news is often the funiest.....worth remembering that sexual addiction is a real illness

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/182473.php