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18-08-2016, 13:21
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#1621
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 697
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a stranger in the woods?
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Crappy story, eh?
Did you hear that when the FBI kicked in Jeffery Dahmer's door to arrest him he was just sitting at the table, eating a sandwich, quietly singing to himself?
My baloney has a first name........
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18-08-2016, 13:29
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#1622
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Warwick RI
Boat: Catalina 30
Posts: 1,873
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Re: The New Joke Thread
As a result of a near mutiny the overbearing and arrogant captain was forced to see a psychiatrist by order of the commodore.
As soon as the captain became comfortable on the couch, the psychiatrist began the session by asking the captain, "Why don't you start at the beginning?"
The captain said, " Okay. In the beginning I created heaven and the earth..."
__________________
-Si Vis Pacem Parabellum
-Molon Labe
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18-08-2016, 18:53
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#1623
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: W Florida
Boat: Still have the 33yo Jon boat. But now a CATAMARAN. Nice little 18' Bay Cat.
Posts: 7,086
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Re: The New Joke Thread
__________________
Who knows what is next.
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18-08-2016, 19:33
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#1624
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Therapy
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That reminds me of how badly NBC is screwing up the Olympics with all of the incessant commentary. I hit the mute button.
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18-08-2016, 19:37
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#1625
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
What do you call a female Australian rocket scientist?
Sheila.
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18-08-2016, 19:41
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#1626
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Where does the 900 lb gorilla sit?
Pretty much anywhere he wants to.
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18-08-2016, 19:44
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#1627
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Does a bear crap in the woods?
Well, according to the rabbit with the brown streak...
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18-08-2016, 21:26
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#1628
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
What does the 900 lb gorilla eat?
Pretty much anything he wants to.
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18-08-2016, 21:28
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#1629
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Who does the 900 lb gorilla have sex with?
Are you kidding?? Nobody.
He's married.
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19-08-2016, 02:44
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#1630
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 49,082
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, BlackAdder.
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"
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19-08-2016, 05:38
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#1631
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: St. Maarten
Boat: Beneteau 423 Oceanis Clipper
Posts: 26
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Yay!! Thanks Gord. Like clockwork.
Sent from my SM-G530H using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app
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19-08-2016, 06:57
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#1632
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Gulf Coast
Boat: Morgan, OutIsland, 41
Posts: 114
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Re: The New Joke Thread
If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him.....
Is he still wrong?
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19-08-2016, 07:09
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#1633
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thorne
If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him.....
Is he still wrong?
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If he's single, no.
If he's married, yes.
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19-08-2016, 08:46
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#1634
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,979
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Re: The New Joke Thread
An engineer's wife left a note for him to prepare dinner that evening:
Shepherd’s Pie needs to be taken out of the fridge and placed in the oven at 120 degrees.
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19-08-2016, 15:09
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#1635
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: W Florida
Boat: Still have the 33yo Jon boat. But now a CATAMARAN. Nice little 18' Bay Cat.
Posts: 7,086
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax
That reminds me of how badly NBC is screwing up the Olympics with all of the incessant commentary. I hit the mute button.
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Oh my yes.
And they are incorrect a lot also.
Horrible.
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