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Old 16-08-2016, 18:06   #1591
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncle stinkybob View Post
guy with a shovel stuck up his butt?

Doug

A guy without a shovel up his butt?

Douglass.


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Old 16-08-2016, 18:07   #1592
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by uncle stinkybob View Post
and a man on your front porch?





Matt.

Ouch!


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Old 16-08-2016, 18:08   #1593
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A man with a rabbit in his trousers?


Warren.


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Old 16-08-2016, 18:35   #1594
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What do you call a women with one leg?

Eileen

What do you call a women with no legs?

Noleen
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Old 16-08-2016, 19:05   #1595
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by uncle stinkybob View Post
a dead guy in a hot tub?




Stu
Hey, I resemble that remark!
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Old 16-08-2016, 19:09   #1596
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What do you call a cow with no legs?





Ground beef
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Old 16-08-2016, 19:13   #1597
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Hey, I resemble that remark!
yes, you do!
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Old 16-08-2016, 19:15   #1598
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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What do you call a cow with no legs?





Ground beef
There's a place in this world for all of gods little creatures you know?


For most of them it would be right next to the mashed potatoes and gravy!
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Old 16-08-2016, 19:27   #1599
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A deer with no eyes?

No idea.


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Old 16-08-2016, 19:27   #1600
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea.


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Old 16-08-2016, 20:30   #1601
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Meanwhile back at the 1937 Spithead Fleet Review Tommy Woodrooffe gets all lit up...

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Old 16-08-2016, 21:06   #1602
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Meanwhile back at the 1937 Spithead Fleet Review Tommy Woodrooffe gets all lit up...

Thats freaking hilarious!!! Never heard it before. thx for posting
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Old 16-08-2016, 21:43   #1603
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Re: The New Joke Thread

He was suspended by the BBC for his efforts.... for a week

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Woodrooffe
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Old 17-08-2016, 01:41   #1604
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Re: The New Joke Thread

So, when the week was up, was he still lit up? By fairy lamps? Or had he disappeared?

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Old 17-08-2016, 04:53   #1605
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Therapy View Post
It seems that lately my life has been getting more complicated, and I want to thank those of you who are brave enough to still associate with me regardless of what I have become.


The following is a recap of my current identity:


I was born white, which makes me a racist.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which makes me a fascist.


I am heterosexual, which makes me a homophobe.


I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.

I am older than 65 and which makes me a useless old man.

I think and I reason; therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which makes me a reactionary.

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.

I value my safety and that of my family; therefore I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which makes me anti-social.

I, and my friends, acquired a good education without student loans and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of odd underachiever.

I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland by all citizens, which makes me a militarist.

Please help me come to terms with this, because Im not sure who I am anymore!

Newest problem I'm not sure which bathroom I should use
I was in a sports bar in Indiana similar to a Hooter's type place a few weeks ago. One of the bathrooms was labeled "Stand 2 P" and the other was labeled "Sit 2 P".
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