Cruisers Forum
 


Closed Thread
  This discussion is proudly sponsored by:
Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about their products on Cruisers Forums. Advertise Here
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 11 votes, 4.45 average. Display Modes
Old 18-11-2014, 04:08   #4156
Moderator
 
carstenb's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: May 2012
Location: At sea somewhere in the Pacific
Boat: Jeanneau Sun Fast 40.3
Posts: 6,351
Images: 1
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by capt-couillon View Post
Ya might be a "boat-bum" if....

1. Your best pair of shoes are made by Sperry...

2, You consider duct tape a long term investment...

3. You know more than 3 ways to fix Spam...

4. You married a younger woman 'cause she could still climb the mast...

5. You have a "good" pair of flip-flops...

6. You know that a bulkhead isn't an Ensign...

7. ? ? ?
If you think "formal dress" means you have to tuck your shirt into your shorts

The first you do when you get up is check wind speed and direction (even when you are on the hard)

you have two pairs of shorts - the ones you're wearing and the dirty ones
__________________


https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=carsten...ref=nb_sb_noss

Our books have gotten 5 star reviews on Amazon. Several readers have written "I never thought I would go on a circumnavigation, but when I read these books, I was right there in the cockpit with Vinni and Carsten"
carstenb is online now  
Old 18-11-2014, 05:06   #4157
Registered User
 
ontherocks83's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Warwick RI
Boat: Catalina 30
Posts: 1,873
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by carstenb View Post
You forgot a couple

25- You are a card-carrying member of the NRA and have a bumper sticker on your pickup that says so


Ouch, I live in New England but qualify for this description. Does this mean I am an honorary Red Neck?
__________________
-Si Vis Pacem Parabellum
-Molon Labe
ontherocks83 is offline  
Old 18-11-2014, 05:08   #4158
One of Those
 
Canibul's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Colorado
Boat: Catalac 12M (sold)
Posts: 3,218
Re: The Joke Thread

I no longer put political stickers on my pickup truck, but I do carry the card.
__________________
Expat life in the Devil's Triangle:
https://2gringos.blogspot.com/
Canibul is offline  
Old 18-11-2014, 05:29   #4159
Senior Cruiser
 
skipmac's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: 29° 49.16’ N 82° 25.82’ W
Boat: Pearson 422
Posts: 16,306
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by ontherocks83 View Post
[/COLOR]

Ouch, I live in New England but qualify for this description. Does this mean I am an honorary Red Neck?
Depends. Are you fluent in any of the southern dialects?
__________________
The water is always bluer on the other side of the ocean.
Sometimes it's necessary to state the obvious for the benefit of the oblivious.
Rust is the poor man's Loctite.
skipmac is offline  
Old 18-11-2014, 05:53   #4160
Registered User
 
captain58sailin's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Homer, AK is my home port
Boat: Skookum 53'
Posts: 4,042
Images: 5
Re: The Joke Thread

The difference between a northern girl and a southern girl. A northern girl says "you can". A southern girl says "ya'all can".
__________________
" Wisdom; is your reward for surviving your mistakes"
captain58sailin is offline  
Old 18-11-2014, 05:56   #4161
Moderator
 
carstenb's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: May 2012
Location: At sea somewhere in the Pacific
Boat: Jeanneau Sun Fast 40.3
Posts: 6,351
Images: 1
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by ontherocks83 View Post
[/COLOR]

Ouch, I live in New England but qualify for this description. Does this mean I am an honorary Red Neck?
can you say y'all with a drawl?
__________________


https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=carsten...ref=nb_sb_noss

Our books have gotten 5 star reviews on Amazon. Several readers have written "I never thought I would go on a circumnavigation, but when I read these books, I was right there in the cockpit with Vinni and Carsten"
carstenb is online now  
Old 18-11-2014, 06:00   #4162
Moderator Emeritus
 
HappyMdRSailor's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: May 2008
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Boat: 48 Wauquiez Pilot Saloon
Posts: 5,975
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by ontherocks83 View Post
[/COLOR]

Ouch, I live in New England but qualify for this description. Does this mean I am an honorary Red Neck?
We'll give ya yer lerners permit...
__________________
In the harsh marine environment, something is always in need of repair...

Mai Tai's fix everything...
HappyMdRSailor is offline  
Old 18-11-2014, 06:03   #4163
Registered User
 
jeanathon's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: WNC mountains U.S.
Boat: Haven't seen it yet. Bought on Ebay
Posts: 1,214
Three guys are out shooting, a Floridian, a Yankee, In the western North Carolinian. When they run out of targets the Floridian grabs a bag of oranges and throws them in the air and blasts them to bits.
The other two men are surprised and ask the Floridian why did you shoot those oranges they were perfectly good? To which he replied where I come from they are so plentiful they are actually a nuisance.
Not to be outdone the Yankee grab a case of maple syrup throws it in the air and shoot it to bits saying where I come from we have so much of the stuff its a nuisance.
With that the North Carolinian grabs the Floridian and the Yankee and throws them in the air.

Just a friendly reminder from the local redneck.
__________________
If you FEEL like you have been heard. You definitely weren't listening,
jeanathon is offline  
Old 18-11-2014, 11:26   #4164
Registered User
 
ontherocks83's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Warwick RI
Boat: Catalina 30
Posts: 1,873
Re: The Joke Thread

It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them.

The police call it indecent exposure. But whatever....
__________________
-Si Vis Pacem Parabellum
-Molon Labe
ontherocks83 is offline  
Old 18-11-2014, 13:55   #4165
Registered User
 
Therapy's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: W Florida
Boat: Still have the 33yo Jon boat. But now a CATAMARAN. Nice little 18' Bay Cat.
Posts: 7,086
Images: 4
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Canibul View Post
I no longer put political stickers on my pickup truck, but I do carry the card.
......
Attached Images
 
__________________
Who knows what is next.
Therapy is offline  
Old 18-11-2014, 14:11   #4166
One of Those
 
Canibul's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Colorado
Boat: Catalac 12M (sold)
Posts: 3,218
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by carstenb View Post
can you say y'all with a drawl?

I usually want to hear them explain and demonstrate in sentences the differences between y'all, y'all all, and all y'all.
__________________
Expat life in the Devil's Triangle:
https://2gringos.blogspot.com/
Canibul is offline  
Old 18-11-2014, 14:19   #4167
Moderator Emeritus
 
Coops's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern NSW.Australia
Boat: Sunmaid 20, John Welsford Navigator
Posts: 9,549
Re: The Joke Thread

A couple of posts deleted. It's the joke thread people. Discussion threads are everywhere for you to have them. In here is for fun.



Coops.
__________________
When somebody told me that I was delusional, I almost fell off of my unicorn.
Coops is offline  
Old 18-11-2014, 15:38   #4168
D&D
Marine Service Provider
 
D&D's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Blue Mountains, Australia
Boat: now skippering Syd Harbour charters
Posts: 1,557
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coops View Post
A couple of posts deleted. It's the joke thread people. Discussion threads are everywhere for you to have them. In here is for fun.
D&D is offline  
Old 18-11-2014, 19:17   #4169
Registered User
 
jeanathon's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: WNC mountains U.S.
Boat: Haven't seen it yet. Bought on Ebay
Posts: 1,214
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coops
A couple of posts deleted. It's the joke thread people. Discussion threads are everywhere for you to have them. In here is for fun.

Coops.
Damn what'd I miss? Did someone say watch this boys. ?
__________________
If you FEEL like you have been heard. You definitely weren't listening,
jeanathon is offline  
Old 18-11-2014, 19:22   #4170
Registered User
 
jeanathon's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: WNC mountains U.S.
Boat: Haven't seen it yet. Bought on Ebay
Posts: 1,214
Quote:
Originally Posted by Canibul

I usually want to hear them explain and demonstrate in sentences the differences between y'all, y'all all, and all y'all.
Y'all come and et. What the hell is yall all? When no one moves to come eat you say, "all y'all comin and et. "
__________________
If you FEEL like you have been heard. You definitely weren't listening,
jeanathon is offline  
Closed Thread

Tags
Jokes, paracelle

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:20.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.