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Old 23-11-2011, 04:02   #1336
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Re: The Joke Thread

I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
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Old 23-11-2011, 04:16   #1337
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Re: The Joke Thread

Old New Englanders responce when asked if the oak he was using to steam in the new dinghy ribs was fresh cut and green.
"Birds was singing in it yesterday"
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Old 23-11-2011, 06:27   #1338
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Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey View Post
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
You should be banned from this thread...
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Old 23-11-2011, 07:25   #1339
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Re: The Joke Thread

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I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
he should be committed
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Old 24-11-2011, 17:07   #1340
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Old 25-11-2011, 00:42   #1341
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Re: The Joke Thread

"Watching child birth is like watching your favorite bar burn down."
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Old 25-11-2011, 17:43   #1342
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Re: The Joke Thread

Somebody must have been in the ARMY!!!



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Old 25-11-2011, 18:02   #1343
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Re: The Joke Thread

GARY IS IN THE HOSPITAL



No comment required, I think ...





Who in the hell is Gary?

Well Gary is the guy who gets home late one night and Marilyn his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?"

Gary replies "I was out getting a tattoo!"

"A tattoo"? She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"


"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking"? She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a Certified Public Accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Gary is in the River Bend Hospital, Critical Care Unit, Room 233





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Old 25-11-2011, 18:37   #1344
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Re: The Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Lancerbye View Post
instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Gary is in the River Bend Hospital, Critical Care Unit, Room 233





Gary must got hurt chasing all those deer at home, or was it elk?
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Old 26-11-2011, 03:45   #1345
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Re: The Joke Thread

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Somebody must have been in the ARMY!!!
Nah. Always been private sector ........nowadays I spend my time trying to stop people shooting themselves in the foot - with little success
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Old 26-11-2011, 22:50   #1346
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Re: The Joke Thread

I was referring to the cartoon. Typical Military Peace Time Operations...
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Old 27-11-2011, 06:11   #1347
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Re: The Joke Thread

I guessed this was a global warming post, where Duck=global warming.

Regards,
Brad

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Old 27-11-2011, 06:59   #1348
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Re: The Joke Thread

Ohhhh! That explains it......?
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Old 27-11-2011, 11:32   #1349
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Re: The Joke Thread

How many sailors does it take to shingle a roof?

only two if you slice them really thin.

(baddaboom)
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Old 27-11-2011, 19:12   #1350
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