Cruisers Forum

Join CruisersForum Today

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Rating: Thread Rating: 11 votes, 4.45 average. Display Modes
Old 11-12-2010, 15:00   #1066
Registered User
LakeSuperior's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 1,458
Images: 7
I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous!!!

LakeSuperior is offline  
Old 13-12-2010, 13:37   #1067
Registered User
Cormorant's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Catskill Mountains (too far from the sea)
Boat: 31' homebuilt Michalak-designed Cormorant "Sea Fever"
Posts: 1,805
The Onion on Abby Sunderland

Abby Sunderland - Concocted History's Most Extreme Plan To Get Out Of A Summer Job | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

"Few will be able to forget when 16-year-old California native Abby Sunderland set out this year to become the youngest person ever to circumnavigate the globe solo and avoid having to work a summer job just like everyone else her age. . . ."

Cormorant is offline  
Old 16-12-2010, 18:51   #1068
Senior Cruiser
delmarrey's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Somewhere along the US West Coast
Boat: Modified Choate 40
Posts: 10,474
Images: 122
Wink Anyone for a Christmas Carol

Silent Monks................

Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful!
A nation of sheep breeds a government of wolves!

Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints!
delmarrey is offline  
Old 16-12-2010, 19:06   #1069
Registered User

Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Erie Canal between Rochester & Buffalo
Boat: 1970 23' O'day pop-top
Posts: 471
Silent Monks is a rip off-
Subterranean Homesick Blues by Bob Dylan Music Video on Yahoo! Music
kenny chaos is offline  
Old 16-12-2010, 20:32   #1070
Eternal Member
Chief Engineer's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: North of Baltimore
Boat: Ericson 27 & 18' Herrmann Catboat
Posts: 3,798
Now that ther's funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chief Engineer is offline  
Old 16-12-2010, 20:41   #1071
Registered User
Bluefuss's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: B.C. Canada / San Carlos, Sonora
Boat: Tayana 37
Posts: 168
Originally Posted by kenny chaos View Post
He ain't all there, is he?
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
Bluefuss is offline  
Old 19-12-2010, 10:04   #1072
Marine Service Provider

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Endeavour 42CC
Posts: 1,182
For all you retired cruisers:

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for an STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts, this is the code for you....

ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center

DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence
Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker
Wheels Need Oil
LMGA: Lost My Glasses Again
GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)

gettinthere is offline  
Old 19-12-2010, 10:14   #1073
Registered User

Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Erie Canal between Rochester & Buffalo
Boat: 1970 23' O'day pop-top
Posts: 471
Glad you wrote it in bold letters. LMGA
kenny chaos is offline  
Old 28-12-2010, 12:54   #1074
Registered User
BilgeRat's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: W. Seattle
Boat: Trawler
Posts: 66
Wink European Standard Language is coming!

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vordskontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
BilgeRat is offline  
Old 28-12-2010, 16:42   #1075
Registered User
Jon Hacking's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Currently cruising Southern Indonesia, heading for peninsular Malaysia
Boat: Wauquiez 45' (now 48') catamaran
Posts: 514
Send a message via Skype™ to Jon Hacking
Cadillac for $20

A guy sees an ad in the paper: "Cadillac, 2 years old, $20". He calls the number & asks, "Where's the misprint?"
The woman answers, "No missprint, $20 is the correct price."
"Then what's wrong with the car?"
"Nothing, it's in great condition."
"Come on, people don't sell Cadillacs for $20!"
She replies, "My husband just died, & in his will he stipulated that I was to sell his Cadillac & give the money to his mistress..."
-- Jon Hacking s/v Ocelot
Jon Hacking is offline  
Old 28-12-2010, 16:59   #1076
Registered User
atoll's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: gettin naughty on the beach in cornwall
Boat: 63 custom alloy sloop,macwester26,signet20,prout snowgoose 37 elite catamaran!
Posts: 8,640
Images: 75
how to become a milloinaire and own a yacht

love this one,when faced with wealthy owners complaining about costs associated with their toys.

punchline; start off as a multimillionaire...................
latest project
atoll is offline  
Old 30-12-2010, 10:35   #1077
Marine Service Provider
Sea Wolf's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living aboard in Lake Worth, Florida
Boat: Prout, Quasar, 50'
Posts: 125
Forewarned is forearmed... I didn't see this one coming.. enjoy

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."
Aboard SeaWolf
Sea Wolf is offline  
Old 08-01-2011, 01:32   #1078
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Thailand
Boat: Seeker 42
Posts: 63
Send a message via Skype™ to Underdog
No - I won't explain it to those that can't get it.....

A bloke walks into a brothel and says: "I'm a bit kinky, how much for total humiliation?"

The madam replies $60.

"Wow, what do I get for that," he says.

She says: "A baggy green cap and an Australia cricket shirt.
Underdog is offline  
Old 08-01-2011, 04:13   #1079
Senior Cruiser
Blue Stocking's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St. Georges, Bda
Boat: Rhodes Reliant 41ft
Posts: 3,985
Originally Posted by Underdog View Post
A bloke walks into a brothel and says: "I'm a bit kinky, how much for total humiliation?"

The madam replies $60.

"Wow, what do I get for that," he says.

She says: "A baggy green cap and an Australia cricket shirt.
"take no prisoners"
so many projects--so little time !!
Blue Stocking is offline  
Old 08-01-2011, 09:30   #1080

Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,129
what do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!!!!!1

Bergovoy is offline  
Closed Thread

Jokes, paracelle

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities

Copyright 2002-2015 Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 00:44.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.