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Old 21-02-2010, 07:13   #691
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As posted by Kai Nui, over at Sully’s forum:

A little insight on why running a forum is so much work.

How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?


1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

1 to move it to the Lighting section.

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section.

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

5 to flame the spell checkers.

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames.

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum.

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum.

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.

7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

5 people to hotlink to pictures of lightbulbs hosted on geocities.

6 people to complain about dead images.

3 people to tell them to right click the image and copy the URL into another window.

13 to read all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers, images and signatures, and add "I agree".

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".

13 to say "do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

Kai Nui,

***
PS:

Note to Moderators:
Perhaps we should add a few new Thread Headings, as below?

The notion that a light bulb can be "changed" (changed into what?) is tantamount either to alchemy or magic, and belongs either in Theory Development or Skepticism and Debunking threads.
Either way, there is no number of CF members who will be able to accomplish such a "change".


Thanks for your consideration,
Gord
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Old 21-02-2010, 07:23   #692
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

One two, one two.
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Old 21-02-2010, 07:25   #693
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And God loved the world so, he sent his son and not a comittee.

A comittee of 1 gets things done.
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Old 21-02-2010, 08:40   #694
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Flourescent bulbs are better anyhow. If they had just bought proper, ballasted flourescents in the first place, they wouldn't be having these problems with the bulbs being too light.
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Old 21-02-2010, 12:04   #695
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Subject: tough decision

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway.
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...
"Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your
willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance
compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy
that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing
is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."

The man perks up at this.
"So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want.
But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a
five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a
bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to
invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's
important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

The man agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken
with your wife?"

"I have," says the man.

"And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite countertops."
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Old 21-02-2010, 14:46   #696
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*LOL* Good one, 'Surya.'
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Old 21-02-2010, 21:06   #697
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In response to Gord's repost of Kai Nui's joke on Sully's forum:

Too many Nitpicks and not enough Ents.

Flame Warriors Home

Brett
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Old 21-02-2010, 23:03   #698
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
As posted by Kai Nui, over at Sully’s forum:

A little insight on why running a forum is so much work.

How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed....................................

Thanks for your consideration,
Gord
1 to turn it into a political rant about guns, amchors, multi vs mono
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Old 22-02-2010, 03:02   #699
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Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them,
'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and
fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

They got up, unplugged the computer, and threw my beer down the sink!!!!

The little gits .......

A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up, moves to the First Class section and sits down.

The Flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.


She then tells the blonde passenger that she will have to return to her Economy seat.


The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!"


The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class who belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.


The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that, because she only paid for Economy, she is only entitled to an Economy seat and she will have to return to her original seat.


The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!"


Exasperated, the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest the blonde, who won't listen to reason.


"You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde, so I can speak blonde!"


The pilot goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says,


"Oh I'm sorry - I had no idea", gets up and moves back to her seat in Economy.


The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.


The pilot replied,
'I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne '
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Old 22-02-2010, 09:24   #700
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The rude parrot
David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity. Those that weren't expletives, were to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments. He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet.
David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness." David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask what did the chicken do?"
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Old 22-02-2010, 09:26   #701
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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
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Old 22-02-2010, 09:37   #702
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Is this the best quote of the decade, or what?



Judge Judy to theprostitute:

'When did you realize you were raped?'
Prostitute, wiping away tears:
'When the check bounced.'
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Old 22-02-2010, 10:59   #703
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What makes Britain great is our ability to laugh at ourselves.

By laugh, I mean invade
By ourselves, I mean other people
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Old 22-02-2010, 16:47   #704
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That is funny :-)
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Old 23-02-2010, 06:51   #705
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Quote:
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What makes Britain great is our ability to laugh at ourselves.

By laugh, I mean invade
By ourselves, I mean other people
That's not funny - it's VERY funny!
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