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Old 25-09-2014, 12:30   #3976
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Re: The Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by captain58sailin View Post
There is always the question: If you trap beaver are you the trapee or the trapper? Akin to : How does one dismount a tiger?
Wifey B: And the real question is does the slang use of "Beaver" even fit anymore...lots of argument over it's etymology. But I don't know anyone with a merkin.
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Old 25-09-2014, 12:44   #3977
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Re: The Joke Thread

I have learned a new word....I wish I didnt, but now I do. Merkin...LOL
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Old 25-09-2014, 13:10   #3978
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Re: The Joke Thread

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I have learned a new word....I wish I didnt, but now I do. Merkin...LOL

Perhaps a 'Merikin lives in 'Murika?

(oh how we digress!)
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Old 25-09-2014, 13:11   #3979
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Re: The Joke Thread

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Wifey B: And the real question is does the slang use of "Beaver" even fit anymore...lots of argument over it's etymology. But I don't know anyone with a merkin.

I ain't gonna ask, how do you know that?
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Old 25-09-2014, 13:16   #3980
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Re: The Joke Thread

We need a smilie with soda coming out of the nose.....
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Old 25-09-2014, 13:20   #3981
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Re: The Joke Thread

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I ain't gonna ask, how do you know that?
Wifey B: I hear slang and my inquisitive mind sort of wants to know where it came from, the etymology.

Or a phrase that's often used, where did it originate. Like the phrase, "It ain't over till the fat lady sings." Most think it came from opera and Wagner. Then others give some sports announcers credit going back to a Texas Tech announcer. But more likely in the 1900's, deep south, church services. Where it was "Church ain't out till the fat lady sings" or "It ain't over till the fat lady sings the blues."

Sorry, hubby and I have curious minds that have to know these things. And, no, have never owned or even seen a merkin and not about to wear a beaver pelt down there.
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Old 25-09-2014, 14:11   #3982
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Re: The Joke Thread

Always something new even if it is not.

The Oxford Companion to the Body dates the origin of the pubic wig to the 1450s. According to the publication, women would shave their pubic hair for personal hygiene and to combat pubic lice. They would then don a merkin. Also, prostitutes would wear a merkin to cover up signs of disease, such as syphilis.

http://www.amazon.com/Merkin-Set-Dar.../dp/B00A784PP6
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Old 25-09-2014, 14:15   #3983
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Re: The Joke Thread

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There is always the question: If you trap beaver are you the trapee or the trapper? Akin to : How does one dismount a tiger?
I'm no expert, but I'm thinking very... very... carefully...


that's one time I'd cuddle as long as she wanted...
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Old 25-09-2014, 14:18   #3984
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Re: The Joke Thread

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I ain't gonna ask, how do you know that?
Women share everything.

A few times I've been told who I was dating even before I knew it.
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Old 25-09-2014, 14:29   #3985
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Re: The Joke Thread

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon
a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and
12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned
lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked
"What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighbor-
hood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take
him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can
tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't
be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then
launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning,
"Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with,
"Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the
reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them,
the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right,
give him the dog."
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Old 25-09-2014, 14:35   #3986
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Re: The Joke Thread

[QUOTE=socaldmax;1637690]Women share everything. QUOTE]


...the joy of indoor plumbing...
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Old 25-09-2014, 14:38   #3987
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Re: The Joke Thread

The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper.
"How much does it cost to have an obituary printed"? asked a woman.
"It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely.
"Fine," said the woman after a moment. "Got a pencil?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Got some paper?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'."
"That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly.
"That's it."
"I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word
minimum.
"Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a
minute... okay, got a pencil?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Got some paper?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale."
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Old 25-09-2014, 15:01   #3988
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Re: The Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by avb3 View Post
Perhaps a 'Merikin lives in 'Murika?

(oh how we digress!)
George Bush Jnr was always saying that he was "proud to be a merkin" wasn't he?

Coops.
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Old 25-09-2014, 15:11   #3989
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Re: The Joke Thread

Ellisville, Mississippi, April 12, 2011.


An Ellisville school teacher called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.


The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.


The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.


Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:


1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.


2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.


3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.


4.. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.


5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.


Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Thought you'd like to know.
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Old 25-09-2014, 17:35   #3990
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Re: The Joke Thread

What do they say in Jamaica, when they run out of weed?


- "What is this **** music?!?!"
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