Cruisers Forum
 


Closed Thread
  This discussion is proudly sponsored by:
Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about their products on Cruisers Forums. Advertise Here
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 11 votes, 4.45 average. Display Modes
Old 29-03-2014, 21:14   #3331
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wonderinlost View Post
I guess the police cars and yellow tape is not enough of a deterrent?

wondering around with no destionation

Yes, when they arrive, 3 hours later. In the meantime...



BTW, the correct spelling is wander and destination.
socaldmax is offline  
Old 29-03-2014, 21:23   #3332
Registered User
 
Finistere's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Bear, DE
Boat: Island Packet 37 - Finistere
Posts: 233
Re: The Joke Thread

Why is it called seven eleven if they or open twenty four hours a day?
Finistere is offline  
Old 29-03-2014, 21:27   #3333
Registered User
 
Wonderinlost's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: NJ
Boat: 1972 Aquarius 23'
Posts: 229
Re: The Joke Thread

By the way spelling is not my thing. Being henpacked ether is not a thing I fansy. I gots no degree stateing I have to right wright. I can tawlk. But hey you r pikkin up wut im pouttin doawn.

wondering around with no destionation
Wonderinlost is offline  
Old 30-03-2014, 00:23   #3334
Registered User
 
sparrowhawk1's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Miami Beach Fl
Boat: Colombia Cc 11.8
Posts: 1,758
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wonderinlost View Post
By the way spelling is not my thing. Being henpacked ether is not a thing I fansy. I gots no degree stateing I have to right wright. I can tawlk. But hey you r pikkin up wut im pouttin doawn.

wondering around with no destionation
well you're way ahead of me on capitalization and punctuation
sparrowhawk1 is offline  
Old 30-03-2014, 02:43   #3335
Nearly an old salt
 
goboatingnow's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lefkas Marina ,Greece
Boat: Bavaria 36
Posts: 22,801
Images: 3
The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wonderinlost View Post
By the way spelling is not my thing. Being henpacked ether is not a thing I fansy. I gots no degree stateing I have to right wright. I can tawlk. But hey you r pikkin up wut im pouttin doawn.

wondering around with no destionation

The world needs diversity and like being chased by a bear , we all need a proportion in the shallow end


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
__________________
Interested in smart boat technology, networking and all things tech
goboatingnow is offline  
Old 30-03-2014, 06:06   #3336
Registered User
 
Wonderinlost's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: NJ
Boat: 1972 Aquarius 23'
Posts: 229
Re: The Joke Thread

An old man always told me through my troubles hire the special people they are fun to watch at work. I always wondered or was it wander away from that tought.... thumbs

wondering around with no destionation
Wonderinlost is offline  
Old 30-03-2014, 06:47   #3337
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Paradise
Boat: Various
Posts: 2,427
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Finistere View Post
Why is it called seven eleven if they or open twenty four hours a day?
As to the name 7-Eleven. It wasn't always 24 hours. They started as Tote-m Stores and changed the name when they revolutionized things by being open from 7 AM to 11 PM. Prior to them stores all closed around 6 PM and many opened at 8 or 9. They were the ones to really make the stores into "Convenience" stores.
BandB is offline  
Old 30-03-2014, 08:23   #3338
Registered User
 
Wonderinlost's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: NJ
Boat: 1972 Aquarius 23'
Posts: 229
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by BandB View Post
As to the name 7-Eleven. It wasn't always 24 hours. They started as Tote-m Stores and changed the name when they revolutionized things by being open from 7 AM to 11 PM. Prior to them stores all closed around 6 PM and many opened at 8 or 9. They were the ones to really make the stores into "Convenience" stores.
Interesting. Never knew that. A little before my time just like ready for this joke, I was told that there was a time stores used to closed on Sundays. I want to go back to then.

wondering around with no destionation
Wonderinlost is offline  
Old 30-03-2014, 08:33   #3339
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Paradise
Boat: Various
Posts: 2,427
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wonderinlost View Post
Interesting. Never knew that. A little before my time just like ready for this joke, I was told that there was a time stores used to closed on Sundays. I want to go back to then.

wondering around with no destionation
Before my time too, but I read a lot. Blue Laws required Sunday closings and in parts of the South, businesses closed on Wednesday afternoons too. Part of the time when we worked less but got the same amount accomplished.
BandB is offline  
Old 30-03-2014, 08:50   #3340
Registered User
 
Wonderinlost's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: NJ
Boat: 1972 Aquarius 23'
Posts: 229
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by BandB View Post
Before my time too, but I read a lot. Blue Laws required Sunday closings and in parts of the South, businesses closed on Wednesday afternoons too. Part of the time when we worked less but got the same amount accomplished.
Wow wensday afternoons as well. Sometimes I get sad hearing this and see where we are now in the states.


wondering around with no destionation
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	1396194620555.jpg
Views:	294
Size:	133.1 KB
ID:	78474  
Wonderinlost is offline  
Old 30-03-2014, 14:22   #3341
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: London, Ontario
Boat: MacGregor 25', Columbia 26 Classic
Posts: 347
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wonderinlost View Post
Wow wensday afternoons as well. Sometimes I get sad hearing this and see where we are now in the states.


wondering around with no destionation
I think the rum and diesel are reversed in your picture. I'm pretty sure I think a lot more about rum than I do diesel, but then again, I have a sailboat.
frank_f is offline  
Old 30-03-2014, 14:56   #3342
Registered User
 
jeanathon's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: WNC mountains U.S.
Boat: Haven't seen it yet. Bought on Ebay
Posts: 1,214
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wonderinlost

Interesting. Never knew that. A little before my time just like ready for this joke, I was told that there was a time stores used to closed on Sundays. I want to go back to then.

wondering around with no destionation
For the last 4 weeks I have been putting up with closed on Sunday. It's a huge pain in the arse. Especially if you couldn't go grocery shopping sat....
__________________
If you FEEL like you have been heard. You definitely weren't listening,
jeanathon is offline  
Old 30-03-2014, 23:35   #3343
Moderator Emeritus
 
Coops's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern NSW.Australia
Boat: Sunmaid 20, John Welsford Navigator
Posts: 9,549
Re: The Joke Thread

As it is a joke thread, we better have some.

What do you call a rock group who meticulously plan their annual tours?



OC/DC

Coops.
__________________
When somebody told me that I was delusional, I almost fell off of my unicorn.
Coops is offline  
Old 30-03-2014, 23:38   #3344
Moderator Emeritus
 
Coops's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern NSW.Australia
Boat: Sunmaid 20, John Welsford Navigator
Posts: 9,549
Re: The Joke Thread

Tickle Me Elmo:

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there
are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.

She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.

After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."

"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

Coops.
__________________
When somebody told me that I was delusional, I almost fell off of my unicorn.
Coops is offline  
Old 30-03-2014, 23:43   #3345
Moderator Emeritus
 
Coops's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern NSW.Australia
Boat: Sunmaid 20, John Welsford Navigator
Posts: 9,549
Re: The Joke Thread

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a
young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of
her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, 'Listen, this
guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot
of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your
neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he
tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is
obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong,
honey. I love you!'

His wife responds, 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my
ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had
any Vaseline.

I told him it was in the bathroom.

Be strong.

I love you, too.'

Coops.
__________________
When somebody told me that I was delusional, I almost fell off of my unicorn.
Coops is offline  
Closed Thread

Tags
Jokes, paracelle

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 00:53.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.