SSSSM - Part Deux

[Coops]

Here in Australia, you see so many examples of the "captain" male, at the helm of the boat, and the wife/gf/ at the bow picking up moorings, dropping anchors etc. In other words the less physically strong of the crew is doing the hard labour whilst the male is concentrating on looking cool and in command until it is time to scream and yell at the crew for making a mistake. I never understood this, and figure that the first thing to teach a "new" member of the crew is how to helm the boat. I have a lady who had never sailed before we met. First thing i did was hoist all the sails and give her the helm, a few pointers and she was into it. Next i helmed and she learnt the sheet work, then i would go and sit out of the cockpit and watched her do it all together.

She loves the whole thing now, it makes her feel more that SHE goes sailing, rather than she sails with ME. Do agree though, the old school of sailors out here are not really keen at all on having a woman in charge of the boat, it somehow is seen as demeaning to their manhood, the poor dears.

Good luck to all the ladies here in finding somone who respects and admires the skills you have, and is not too hung up to praise you for having them.

Coops.

[CarinaPDX]

Coops-Agree 100%. I have said almost exactly the same thing on many occasions. Only I also feel compelled to note that the man back on the helm is usually in need of a little exercise, while the woman on the foredeck is usually far more fit.

For any number of reasons I will teach new crew how to helm first. Handling the anchor gear is the last thing I turn over - aside from the strength issue (not a problem now with an electric windlass) there is a distinct possibility of injury if done wrong. Too many people associate the helm position with the captain - a load of nonsense IMHO. It is just another job, and not being at the helm in no way diminishes the authority of the captain (rarely an issue in any event).

As primarily a (reluctant) single-hander I appreciate whatever help I can get. I tend to let crew do whatever they feel most comfortable with, or that they wish to learn, and I'll do the rest. If they cook, I'll clean. Or vice versa. It doesn't really matter to me (what others think of my cooking is another matter...). The goal is to get the job done, and have fun at the same time. That is, everyone have fun - it shouldn't be a zero-sum game.

Greg

[zeehag]

looks arent everything--in fact, looks dont mean anything--is who is inside the packaging.
ability to learn is important, as is ability to follow instructions. so far i have found 4 crew requesters who were absolutely unable to follow instructions. that doesnt work on a boat-there is way too much at stake.
so much good info here, guys--keep it coming--

[Coops]

I read this thread a lot, not for any reasons of finding a partner, nor as a vicarious thrill to see who is about and available, but merely in sympathy with the cause. The fact is that i do not really qualify to be on here as i have a lady whom i love but it has taken many years to find her. Most of those years have been as a single and solo sailor. Did get suckered in when i was 40 by someone who professed to love both me and sailing, but as soon as we got married, all that changed. The love of sailing was merely an act to get me, believe me i am not worth that kind of effort, and the whole thing lasted barely a year after that.

Be yourselves is the main credo, i am 63 now, took me to be 61 before i found someone that could make me laugh, make me feel good, make life better than it was without her and , most importantly, make me want to do the same for her.

Sorry for the ramble, and interloping on your space, but figure that 40 odd, sometimes very odd, years of solo seeking could allow me to have a post every now and then.

Coops.

[zeehag]

thankyou coops--

[Samantha ann]

When I was a dockmaster, I was friends with a couple that switched place each time they went out. Both were very capable sailors. I learned a lot from them. When asked why they did this, she sd " in case he strokes out on me, I want to be able to handle the boat alone!" He sd. Yeah she'll just throw me over the side!!!"

That to me is the best way to handle it!

On the other hand, I had a guy come in screaming #%#*^@&$ at his girlfriend, who obviously don't know what she was doing. They were out on their first trip together and he never explained anything to her and was so abusive to her that I was forced to step in( I'm a bit of a white knight!) and throw him out of the marina at 3 AM. Cops were called and they took him off to jail.

We had a saying that you come to the Keys on vacation, leave on probation , and come back on violation of probation!

[flysci]

This is a great discussion! Lot's of good stories. I will only say that we, both men and women, are usually of 2 minds about these things, one of them usually the unconscious one. Rationally we "know" what we want, but somehow too often act in contrary ways. A man may want a sailor mate, but falls for the beauty of a novice. Or, a woman may want an equal partner, but finds herself falling for the hunk who takes care of her. So many ways our secret lives govern our everyday ones. But without all the conflict this leads to, where would we be - no country music ballads!

[zeehag]

wouldnt mined a hunk to take care of me as long as he is a sailor......and old enough to know the alphabet and read...and too old for puter games and bad punk rock or gangsta rap....

[lookoutnw]

Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey

Deck Candy:

Racing she's a deck ape, but me tinks she be good one to go up the mast!

[carstenb]

I curl my toes whenever I see (and hear) a boat come in with the man at the wheel, screaming at his poor wife/partner, who is up front with the bow lines or fenders. I simply don't understand why the gals put up with it. Maybe they don't - maybe that's the reason why a lot of men say their wives don't like to sail.

RE the above situation - it is the helmsman responsibility to ease the boat in right next to the dock so the linesman can step off and tie on. If the linesman has to make the"death leap" then the helmsman screwed up and he should be screaming at himself.

[SaltyMonkey]

Originally Posted by lookoutnw

Racing she's a deck ape, but me tinks she be good one to go up the mast!

ROFL!

[zeehag]

Originally Posted by carstenb

I curl my toes whenever I see (and hear) a boat come in with the man at the wheel, screaming at his poor wife/partner, who is up front with the bow lines or fenders. I simply don't understand why the gals put up with it. Maybe they don't - maybe that's the reason why a lot of men say their wives don't like to sail.

RE the above situation - it is the helmsman responsibility to ease the boat in right next to the dock so the linesman can step off and tie on. If the linesman has to make the"death leap" then the helmsman screwed up and he should be screaming at himself.

is always fun to watch as couples come into an anchorage---in pensacola we watched as a testosterone addled dood --older guy--- hollered and hollered and she dropped anchor and he tried to back it down--sh edidnt put enough chain-- didnt even touch bottom with it--- he scream louder--is a mortifying event--- seems the fellow shoulda reinvented the wheel and taught her hand signals so he wouldnt have to holler her into oblivion....she had to drop and retrieve that anchor at least 5 times due to this lack of communication--they ended up anchoring down wind of us, finally---whew---what a trauma.....is a pleasure to see couples come into an anchorage with smooth and effective communication and anchoring skills....

[tess26]

Hello out there, going sailing this Friday With Capt. Ed. Yaaaaaa!!!!

[tess26]

i have finally found this spot to post my question. Are there any sailors out there who
are located in my area......Ma. I live in Watertown, My boat The Sea castle is in Nypt.
that is Newburyport, Ma. She is docked on the Merrimack River.....Very strong current.
Is there a seasoned sailor willing to go sailing with me. I just can't do it alone...
Thank You Tess26, My picture is posted on facebook.

[tess26]

opps my picture is on facebook not under the name tess26.