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Old 26-09-2010, 21:12   #1456
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lightning

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As fall approaches, I might start spending a few weekends in town. Maybe lightning will strike, maybe not.
John
So John. Do you think you'll find a woman who wants to sail with you by hanging out in town a few days? Or is sailing with your mate not that important? [In which case why SSSSM?]

If that works for you I'd like to know how. Do you only hang out at yacht clubs or sailing schools? In the bars, is there even 1/20 interested in sailing?

- Margo, still looking for my sailorman.
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Old 26-09-2010, 21:22   #1457
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the mix

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..see if i can relate or even deal with having to sort thru all the ..eeww .. many men are not as they seem or say ...DUH..lol....the mix is a scary one.
Too true. But I think the same is true of women. Many are all about concealment and control. Left over from the days when they were under the thumb of men. Takes a long time for some to figure it out and catch up.

What I see is a lot of men asking for "no baggage" only to find they are dragging trunks. Also, men want the "chemistry" to be instant; women are more willing to watch, wait, and see what develops.

It's always hard to find a compatible mate, the %'s are against it. Add in the criteria of willingness to cruise, and the statistics get positively DNA-test-like!

Margo
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Old 27-09-2010, 05:37   #1458
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"the same is true of women. Many are all about concealment and control. Left over from the days when they were under the thumb of men."

Fly -- One bad marriage will make anyone cautious. The last time you were in love, was "caution" part of the deal? I hope not - preordained collapse.

"What I see is a lot of men asking for "no baggage" only to find they are dragging trunks. Also, men want the "chemistry" to be instant; women are more willing to watch, wait, and see what develops."

When I find a gal who "clicks", the notion of "taking it slow" lasts about 24 hours. If passion gives way to caution, fuggetabotit.

"It's always hard to find a compatible mate, the %'s are against it. Add in the criteria of willingness to cruise, and the statistics get positively DNA-test-like!"

Good analogy. Back to the question, "Is it easier to make a sailor out of a mate, or a mate out of a sailor?" Lots of women want to sail - on Carnival. Some like small sailboats - for an afternoon. Some might even like it for a month.

"You want me to chuck my job and live on THAT for years, without knowing where we're going or when we'll come back?"

"Yeah, baby."

Margo
John

PS - Someone wanna tell me how to split the quotes? I have NO IDEA how this will look when I hit "submit".
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Old 27-09-2010, 08:42   #1459
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John

PS - Someone wanna tell me how to split the quotes? I have NO IDEA how this will look when I hit "submit".
Use this button and then on the last post you want to milti-quote clicke Quote


(Not that I look at this thread)
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Old 27-09-2010, 08:53   #1460
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markj--dont ever look at this thread..lol......
as for concealment and control--- when do we go sailing-- i just wanna sail..
\forget that month thing-- i dont want to come back to sin diego--i will gypsy it...
dont know about the sailor/mate thing-- dont have a mate, so i wouldnt know.....the only cncealment i am into is concealing my cold feets in some warmth...


"You want me to chuck my job and live on THAT for years, without knowing where we're going or when we'll come back?"--some chix just cant cut it....
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Old 27-09-2010, 09:01   #1461
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(Not that I look at this thread)
Word!
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Old 27-09-2010, 15:24   #1462
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Hmmm ... I didn't think I was talking about cautiousness. I'll have to think about that.

And Zee I'm with ya! Set sail and never come back! Small and simple - that's the boat NOT the man. Haha!

Margo
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Old 27-09-2010, 16:04   #1463
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lol i have 41 ft, so i am not small-- i am substantial!!!
\yes --no man is an island but a lady may just be...LOL
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Old 27-09-2010, 18:44   #1464
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Hmmm ... I didn't think I was talking about cautiousness. I'll have to think about that.
That's how it feels to me when a woman, burned by infidelity and misuse of emotional trust, wants to control the course of her next significant relationship. It's the opposite of vulnerability.

And who could blame her? Once bitten/Fool me once/Etc.......but that stands in the way of intimacy. Caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place.

Not sayin' I know how to fix it, but I sure do know it when I see it.

John
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Old 29-09-2010, 16:10   #1465
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That's how it feels to me when a woman, burned by infidelity and misuse of emotional trust, wants to control the course of her next significant relationship. It's the opposite of vulnerability.

And who could blame her? Once bitten/Fool me once/Etc.......but that stands in the way of intimacy. Caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place.

Not sayin' I know how to fix it, but I sure do know it when I see it.

John
You cannot fix it, nor should you try. He/she burned by betrayal must work it out themselves. I think it is a process and deeply rooted with staying in the present (after learning from and putting the past to rest).my 2 cents.


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Old 29-09-2010, 21:12   #1466
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You cannot fix it, nor should you try.
True, dat.

My problem with this situation occurs when a woman says she wants a deep and meaningful relationship, but puts the kabosh on the commitment and intimacy that is (in my experience) part of finding, having, and maintaining that sort of relationship. Catch 22.

If ya want a soul mate, you should be prepared to bare your soul, even though it hurt pretty bad the last time you did it.

John
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Old 29-09-2010, 21:56   #1467
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True, dat.

My problem with this situation occurs when a woman says she wants a deep and meaningful relationship, but puts the kabosh on the commitment and intimacy that is (in my experience) part of finding, having, and maintaining that sort of relationship. Catch 22.

If ya want a soul mate, you should be prepared to bare your soul, even though it hurt pretty bad the last time you did it.

John

yup.
and vice versa....bare it and share it.
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Old 29-09-2010, 21:58   #1468
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Feral,

I heartily agree with what you say! Pillow talk, the sharing through intimacy.

Margo
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Old 29-09-2010, 22:00   #1469
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Yep, you are talking vulnerability. Being vulnerable is tough! I am facing this right now, plus I am painfully shy (poor guy has his work cut out for him aye?). Dating a guy that is THE BOMB makes it easier though . Even if I fall flat on my face it will still be worth it, he is worth the risk, hope he thinks the same of me.
E
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Old 29-09-2010, 22:19   #1470
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I heartily agree with what you say! Pillow talk, the sharing through intimacy.
Margo --

As much as I enjoy pillow talk, it is much more than that. I have always believed that unexploited vulnerability builds trust fastest.

Zee --

I love it when you talk dirty.

John
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